It pleases me to be the presenter of pleasant tidings pertaining to the present perigrinations of the pertinacious and puissant Lord Pertinax of Putney :notworthy: . His Grace, :notworthy: in his perpetual pursuit of pastoral provender, is perambulating through the pastures of the provinces of the Picts; picking parsley, purslane, pansies and peppermint, and imbibing potent porter. These powerful precious pearls of paradise will provide his porridge with potent palatable provisions. Paroxysms o
Sundry criminals have been at work on the English language for ages. It is high time these miscreants were brought to book.
Let us examine the letter "H".
Not pronounced in 'eight' where it lives; prounced in Sean where it is on vacation.
Not pronounced in 'ghost' (yes, yes, I know, it tells us how to pronounce the 'g'). OK, so, gho ghet ghum. Lets be consistent. The Irish don't bother pronouncing it in 'thanks', but they do in 'Sean'. Koo-koo, no?
Thought, bought, caught! Pronounce th
I didn't know that I was supposed to 'PUBLISH' my blog! So it's in a fouled up order. Maybe you can make something of it. Cretan!, Idiot!, that I am! And possibly find it in your hearts to forgive me - some day.
My sainted mother used to tell me: "You'll learn - some day."
My Dearest Romans:
It has fallen to my saddened lamentable lot to have to inform you of the recent savaging of His Greekness, Don Giovanni :notworthy:, by a squardron of savage squirrels (Arboratus Rodentus Ratus).
Whilst he was gargling a brew, and taking in the visions of lightly clad maidens, the lately reported cowardly Red Coated vulture, cruelly interrupted his sanguine reverie and swooped down and fowlly snuffed another innocent chipmunk. This action could no longer stand. His
It was my pleasure to have met His Greekness, Don Giovanni (aka Pantagathus) :notworthy: , about a week ago. He and his Domina trod up from one of the the outlying provinces to America. I picked him up with the Imperial Chariot somewhere in an exurb of NYC. We somehow knew each other immediately. At first, I must tell you that he is the handsome ideal of a Southern Gentleman. We yakked about many things, (strangling Ramses; putting a hex on Pertinax :notworthy: ) on our way to Brookfordshirese
Fellow Sufferers:
Seems that the Canadian Moslems want to assimilate, i.e., on their terms. They will determine what 'sin' is. My sometimes faulty logic tells me that means Canadians will have to do the assimilating. I'll pass and turn in my honorary Prince Edward Island citizenship. Then, there is a group of these ruffians who want to hack off the premier's head. I'm sure that that is a go for some Canadians.
For a prize, let's see who can use the word 'that' in a row, (without any inte
Sunday last, as I sat sad and dreary at my computer contemplating posts at UNRV, there came a banging, a gentle banging, from the streets below. Twas the garbage men alerting sleeping citizens of the approaching Midnight Hour. This I thought, and nothing more. Then there came a peace shattering tingle from the phone. Me thought a lost and lonely soul seeking solace at the Plutonian shore. This me thought, and nothing more. Twas a fellow dweller in one of the stacked apartments, seeking my omnisc
Komrades:
The Imperial Roman Intelligence Service (IRIS) - get it?, has intercepted a letter from busche to president chinney. For your edification, it is reproduced here. Keep in mind that this is Top Secret and for your eyes only, else it is off to Poland with you.
Deer mista prezaden?
Look, yu *CENSORED*, iv been frontin 4 yu 4 5 yeers now and everythin has gone Right. nothin iz correk. i trid to *CENSORED* up soshul sekurity n faled. then i did *GRRR!* up medakar. no
Gaius Octavius:
QUOTE(Moonlapse @ Sep 22 2007, 01:26 PM)
Fiat money...
I doubt if a modern economy could exist without fiat money. The transaction amounts are much too great.
When the Spanish introduced New World gold to Europe, there was a great inflation!
---------------------------------
Moonlapse:
QUOTE(Gaius Octavius @ Sep 23 2007, 12:24 PM)
QUOTE(Moonlapse @ Sep 22 2007, 01:26 PM)
Fiat money...
I doubt if a modern economy could exist without fiat money.
You a
Monday last, the Domina Claudia :wub: :wub: took off for some place in the boondocks, namely, knoxberg, 10AC. The Imperial Pro-Crastinator was supposed to be left well supplied. Well, the Old Moor Hen Shredded Sporran is almost at an end. The stompings don't look as if they will last the week. Down to the last half dozen beers. I have no idea what the things left in the fridge are.
This is the status quo:
Bride in the boondocks. :wub: :wub:
Nurse Mary in Basra. :wub:
Private Bohp
Fellow Travelers:
If it weren't for Pentagathus, this blog would be locked and deader than a dumb bell. For the which, I humbly thank him publically. I hope he doesn't come to regret it. The gods bless those who speak Latin and know computerese. :angel:
Pertinax chipped in also :notworthy:
If any are as ignorant as I am of this stuff, as old as I am, and want to open a blog, pay no attention to the instructions. Do the opposite of what you think you are being asked to do. :bag:
ENG
February is the dreariest month of the year.
Pantagathus and Perinax aren't here.
La Donna Sophia will seldom appear.
Nephele wears combat boots this time of year.
And Ursus can be a pain in the rear.
Faustus needs a good tax man.
Coldrail is locked in the porta can.
The Klingon is a frozen man.
Kosmic eats frogs out of a tin can.
And Ramses can be a pain in the can.
Moon has a corner on gold.
L W has a nasty cold.
MPC will never fold.
The G-Man is very bold.
And a swift ki
I hope that I have the names right, but here goes anyway:
Once upon some good hundred plus years ago, Commodore Vanderbuilt was collecting railroads. He decided the Erie Railroad would be nice to have, so he started buying up its stock. Now, there was a chap called Jay Gould, who really owned the RR. JG thought that it would be a very good idea to print up stock certificates as fast as the good Comm. could buy them. For some unearthly reason, the Comm. got the idea that he had bought the RR
I was sitting cross legged in front of the radio. My elbows on my knees and my chin perched on my palms. I was listening to the Lone Ranger. I was galloping on Silver and plugging owlhoots. My reverie was rudely interrupted when I heard the two most odious words in the English language - Thamiss and school - all in the same sentence! Thamiss has plagued me all my life. Somehow it comes natural to humans. I think that it is the first word my grand-niece ever uttered. It follows me like a curse. I
Dear Friends:
Little Sen. ricky santorum, that mendacious murine mountebank, has announced that WMD's have been found in Eyewreck. A miracle is delivered unto us (once again)!
ann couter, that sallow, scoriaceous, sulphovinic, specious specimen, feels that if Rep.Murtha was fragged now, he will have earned one of his two Purple Hearts. I'd give her one for that condyloid face.
hiraldo the hirsute, has vomited that he has seen more 'action' than John Kerry did! Yeah! He got punched ar
Me Buckos:
National Women's Football Assoc. Super Bowl will take place next month. Hope it is as good as the Aussie midget tossing.
Some witch put a curse on some woman so that she would fall in love with some chap. The contra party didn't appreciate it, so she brought the matter up before the magistrates. Probably in wierdo Kali4kneeya. :1eye:
A creepy crawly and a flying bug couldn't take the weather outside any longer. Got into the estate for the A/C. So I crushed the bloody inn
It gives me great pleasure to announce to you that I, Don Tomasso of Brooklyn, am world famous!
If you would be so kind as to click on the below site, which is the product of one of our most eminent Forum contributors, :notworthy: you will see the reason. In addition, you will be treated to a most excellent education.
http://www.thenectarofgods.com/index.asp
I can't say that I am particularly whelmed with this eminent pertinacious personage's :notworthy: site as
Since I make fun of everyone, here's one on me:
PORCOFACIO UNSCRUPULATO
San Francisco contractor, Porcofacio Unscrupulato, 68, of Canale Capone, North Beach, died yesterday from injuries he received in the collapse of a building he was inspecting, prior to sale to Roosevelt Moses of Oakland.
Born in Molto Pubisco, Italy, Unscrupulato was brought to this country at age 11 by his parents, Regurgito and Nauseata Unscrupulato.
Active for many years in community affairs, Unscrup
Fellow Citizens!
Some of you, having not heard from me, thought I had become a member of the recently departed, and thus called to confirm that that was the case. Unfortunately, they were greatly disappointed. Some even had the temerity to ask for a return of their Golden Roman Asses - the ones they stiffed me on for the Journal. Some just could care less. No matter, I still love all y'all. Noblesse oblige, you know. Now, I shall relate what happened to me at the Saturnalia.
During t
Put me down! Let me go!, you wild, weird, wicked woemens! Stop petting me! I'm not a doggie! Quit kissing me! You're embarrassing me. My pals are laughing at me.
This is how that scene came about. During WWII, the traffic on our street was like an unending snake. Men had to get to the docks. The cross street had practically no traffic. In the event of a crash, the men simply got out of their jalopies and punched each other out. Case closed. Some politico decided that a traffic light would be
It has devolved to the PRESENCE to relate the sad intelligence that His Grace, The Lord of the Herbs, Pertinax, :notworthy: is presently situate in the donjon of the Highland Laird, Peter of Perth. It came about in this fashion:
Whilst presiding at a Perfect Patented Pertimaxus party in a popular porter pleasure parlour in the Port of Perth in Perthshire, a Pictish piper was playing some moaning and groaning on his pipes in the pronaos. When His Grace :notworthy: had had his fill of the no
Komrades:
Little Liar Libby takes the fall for prez chinney and the jolly roger. 30 years? Nah, bet a groat or a stoat that The Shame of America pardons the twerp like his alleged old man did for his fellow co-conspirators in the Iran-Contra imbroglio.
How come the bailiffs haven't hauled liver lips noback before the magistrates? Ain't he the one who spilled the beans in the liberal press?
What was that, that the Sham Prez told the polloi about his administration going to be the most
IRIS has tendered to the god-Consul the intelligence that celebrations have been afoot hereabouts with regard to my recent absence. It does not displease me to inform all y'all that I am still here. Tough!
I have been tending to taxes , the felonies of my brokerage house and other baloney.
Easter went well. We had a little rain here in America. Nothing to really talk about.
I am illegitimate uncle to a 16 year old nymph. She's a junior Rockette or something like that. So I attend
You might remember the 'Mac' of an earlier Journal who was commander of the failed raid on the Coast Guard bank.
Mac was graduated from school as a 2nd Lieutenant in the U.S. Army. He became a reconnaissance pilot and was sent off to Viet Nam. I was supposed to follow as a combat engineer, but lucked out.
The following is a letter Capt. Mac [b.] sent to me in 1963.
"13 Jan. 63
Howdy Tom,
Greetings from a hospital bed in worn torn Viet Nam. Nope. No bullet holes. No V.D.,
For the New Year, GO RESOLVES to:
Stop bugging the Lost Soul, My Lady Sophia, Doll, My Lords Pantagathus & Pertinax, The G-Man, MPC, and of course, the most highly esteemed and honourable "Fair is fair, young man,....".
Start bugging Domina Nomina, Kosmo, Viggen, The Klingon, GPM, JR, Faustus, and Moonlapse.
Stop imbibing of wine, whisky, and beer - while posting to UNRV.
Stop posting in enigmas so as not to confuse great minds.
Not to use talking smilies!
Stop lyin
