Since I make fun of everyone, here's one on me:
PORCOFACIO UNSCRUPULATO
San Francisco contractor, Porcofacio Unscrupulato, 68, of Canale Capone, North Beach, died yesterday from injuries he received in the collapse of a building he was inspecting, prior to sale to Roosevelt Moses of Oakland.
Born in Molto Pubisco, Italy, Unscrupulato was brought to this country at age 11 by his parents, Regurgito and Nauseata Unscrupulato.
Active for many years in community affairs, Unscrup
Sundry criminals have been at work on the English language for ages. It is high time these miscreants were brought to book.
Let us examine the letter "H".
Not pronounced in 'eight' where it lives; prounced in Sean where it is on vacation.
Not pronounced in 'ghost' (yes, yes, I know, it tells us how to pronounce the 'g'). OK, so, gho ghet ghum. Lets be consistent. The Irish don't bother pronouncing it in 'thanks', but they do in 'Sean'. Koo-koo, no?
Thought, bought, caught! Pronounce th
My Dearest Romans:
It has fallen to my saddened lamentable lot to have to inform you of the recent savaging of His Greekness, Don Giovanni :notworthy:, by a squardron of savage squirrels (Arboratus Rodentus Ratus).
Whilst he was gargling a brew, and taking in the visions of lightly clad maidens, the lately reported cowardly Red Coated vulture, cruelly interrupted his sanguine reverie and swooped down and fowlly snuffed another innocent chipmunk. This action could no longer stand. His
Gaius Octavius:
QUOTE(Moonlapse @ Sep 22 2007, 01:26 PM)
Fiat money...
I doubt if a modern economy could exist without fiat money. The transaction amounts are much too great.
When the Spanish introduced New World gold to Europe, there was a great inflation!
---------------------------------
Moonlapse:
QUOTE(Gaius Octavius @ Sep 23 2007, 12:24 PM)
QUOTE(Moonlapse @ Sep 22 2007, 01:26 PM)
Fiat money...
I doubt if a modern economy could exist without fiat money.
You a
It was my pleasure to have met His Greekness, Don Giovanni (aka Pantagathus) :notworthy: , about a week ago. He and his Domina trod up from one of the the outlying provinces to America. I picked him up with the Imperial Chariot somewhere in an exurb of NYC. We somehow knew each other immediately. At first, I must tell you that he is the handsome ideal of a Southern Gentleman. We yakked about many things, (strangling Ramses; putting a hex on Pertinax :notworthy: ) on our way to Brookfordshirese
It pleases me to be the presenter of pleasant tidings pertaining to the present perigrinations of the pertinacious and puissant Lord Pertinax of Putney :notworthy: . His Grace, :notworthy: in his perpetual pursuit of pastoral provender, is perambulating through the pastures of the provinces of the Picts; picking parsley, purslane, pansies and peppermint, and imbibing potent porter. These powerful precious pearls of paradise will provide his porridge with potent palatable provisions. Paroxysms o
A couple of y'all are aware of the fact that I took a hit in the Imperial Portfolio. I am trying to make up this short fall with a Black Sale of my monograph: "On the Rudiments of Elementary Bad Manners"; a necessity for those lacking in the matter. It is offered at the previously unheard of pre-certified pre-discounted discounted price of 69 bucks. (Plus taxes and S&H.) But wait! Order one and you'll get two! Give one to a needy friend. You'll also get a C-note rebate!
I didn't know that I was supposed to 'PUBLISH' my blog! So it's in a fouled up order. Maybe you can make something of it. Cretan!, Idiot!, that I am! And possibly find it in your hearts to forgive me - some day.
My sainted mother used to tell me: "You'll learn - some day."
Since I will probably be a member of the 'Damnatio" by Evening Song, let me get this off of my chest. I am perfectly willing to return all the meager taxes you Liberarians and other neo-con job artists have ever paid on your paltry income, with compound interest at the then prevailing Treasury bond rate. I will now teach you what 'Capitalism' is. If you ever breathe the air, ching-ching, at MY rate. If you ever go to a university, hospital, ball park - ching-ching. Have a sewer line, telephone,
Fellow Sufferers:
Seems that the Canadian Moslems want to assimilate, i.e., on their terms. They will determine what 'sin' is. My sometimes faulty logic tells me that means Canadians will have to do the assimilating. I'll pass and turn in my honorary Prince Edward Island citizenship. Then, there is a group of these ruffians who want to hack off the premier's head. I'm sure that that is a go for some Canadians.
For a prize, let's see who can use the word 'that' in a row, (without any inte
February is the dreariest month of the year.
Pantagathus and Perinax aren't here.
La Donna Sophia will seldom appear.
Nephele wears combat boots this time of year.
And Ursus can be a pain in the rear.
Faustus needs a good tax man.
Coldrail is locked in the porta can.
The Klingon is a frozen man.
Kosmic eats frogs out of a tin can.
And Ramses can be a pain in the can.
Moon has a corner on gold.
L W has a nasty cold.
MPC will never fold.
The G-Man is very bold.
And a swift ki
Sunday last, as I sat sad and dreary at my computer contemplating posts at UNRV, there came a banging, a gentle banging, from the streets below. Twas the garbage men alerting sleeping citizens of the approaching Midnight Hour. This I thought, and nothing more. Then there came a peace shattering tingle from the phone. Me thought a lost and lonely soul seeking solace at the Plutonian shore. This me thought, and nothing more. Twas a fellow dweller in one of the stacked apartments, seeking my omnisc
Komrades:
This may be my last blog due to a certain post of mine. So....
----------------------------------------------------------
And now for some cultural reportage.
To start with, it is El Cinco de Mayo once again.
You've all heard the libelous term 'Italian Football Wedding', but you probably never had the pleasure of having attended one, since the most of you are barbarians. Herein, I shall describe one to you. But, for contrast, I shall open things with an inter-racial an
Fellow Travelers:
If it weren't for Pentagathus, this blog would be locked and deader than a dumb bell. For the which, I humbly thank him publically. I hope he doesn't come to regret it. The gods bless those who speak Latin and know computerese. :angel:
Pertinax chipped in also :notworthy:
If any are as ignorant as I am of this stuff, as old as I am, and want to open a blog, pay no attention to the instructions. Do the opposite of what you think you are being asked to do. :bag:
ENG
I hope that I have the names right, but here goes anyway:
Once upon some good hundred plus years ago, Commodore Vanderbuilt was collecting railroads. He decided the Erie Railroad would be nice to have, so he started buying up its stock. Now, there was a chap called Jay Gould, who really owned the RR. JG thought that it would be a very good idea to print up stock certificates as fast as the good Comm. could buy them. For some unearthly reason, the Comm. got the idea that he had bought the RR
Komrades:
The Imperial Roman Intelligence Service (IRIS) - get it?, has intercepted a letter from busche to president chinney. For your edification, it is reproduced here. Keep in mind that this is Top Secret and for your eyes only, else it is off to Poland with you.
Deer mista prezaden?
Look, yu *CENSORED*, iv been frontin 4 yu 4 5 yeers now and everythin has gone Right. nothin iz correk. i trid to *CENSORED* up soshul sekurity n faled. then i did *GRRR!* up medakar. no
It has devolved to the PRESENCE to relate the sad intelligence that His Grace, The Lord of the Herbs, Pertinax, :notworthy: is presently situate in the donjon of the Highland Laird, Peter of Perth. It came about in this fashion:
Whilst presiding at a Perfect Patented Pertimaxus party in a popular porter pleasure parlour in the Port of Perth in Perthshire, a Pictish piper was playing some moaning and groaning on his pipes in the pronaos. When His Grace :notworthy: had had his fill of the no
Greetings & Salutations:
In re the new $5 bill - good for one gallon of petrol:
Soon, it will be a Ten Spot! Follow me: It costs a little less than 10 bucks to get oil out of the ground. The 'Spot' market is ~ +$110/barrel. But, I lied saying that oil comes out of the ground - it is produced by the 'Spot' market. Get it so far? It is well known that such as Exxon have no $10 oil. (As a matter of fact, they have no oil at all!) No depletion allowances, (aka nanny government tax subsid
Dear Friends:
Little Sen. ricky santorum, that mendacious murine mountebank, has announced that WMD's have been found in Eyewreck. A miracle is delivered unto us (once again)!
ann couter, that sallow, scoriaceous, sulphovinic, specious specimen, feels that if Rep.Murtha was fragged now, he will have earned one of his two Purple Hearts. I'd give her one for that condyloid face.
hiraldo the hirsute, has vomited that he has seen more 'action' than John Kerry did! Yeah! He got punched ar
For the New Year, GO RESOLVES to:
Stop bugging the Lost Soul, My Lady Sophia, Doll, My Lords Pantagathus & Pertinax, The G-Man, MPC, and of course, the most highly esteemed and honourable "Fair is fair, young man,....".
Start bugging Domina Nomina, Kosmo, Viggen, The Klingon, GPM, JR, Faustus, and Moonlapse.
Stop imbibing of wine, whisky, and beer - while posting to UNRV.
Stop posting in enigmas so as not to confuse great minds.
Not to use talking smilies!
Stop lyin
I was sitting cross legged in front of the radio. My elbows on my knees and my chin perched on my palms. I was listening to the Lone Ranger. I was galloping on Silver and plugging owlhoots. My reverie was rudely interrupted when I heard the two most odious words in the English language - Thamiss and school - all in the same sentence! Thamiss has plagued me all my life. Somehow it comes natural to humans. I think that it is the first word my grand-niece ever uttered. It follows me like a curse. I
Some members of the Forum seem to have some minor problems these days. Really, nothing of any consequence compared to mine. Cogitate:
My Bride was supposed to go on a cruise in the Carib starting Thursday last, for a fortnight. She was supposed to meet a gaggle of her pals from 10uhC and mis(take)again in San Juan, P.R., on that day, to commence their carousing. Since La Donna Sophia, and Lady Farrow were otherwise occupied, I made arrangements for Lady Jane (Bury-Me-In- A-"Y"-Shaped-Coffin
The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools.
The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:
HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"
BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. "Usage "My brother bard
