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Marriage

cornelius_sulla

Entry posted by cornelius_sulla

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Yesterday my brother got married to his childhood sweetheart. What a day.

I've attended four weddings so far this year and I'm still no more enamoured of the idea. Familiarity is breeding contempt. What a freakin' production. I was happy for my brother and his new wife, but when you hear the phrase 'your special day' what I reckon is really meant is 'the bride's special day'.

What is it about the day of marriage that makes perfectly reasonably, sane, women turn into slathering egomaniacal control freak megalomaniacs?

I had a chat to my brother earlier in the morning before the ceremony and his attitude was that he was over it, and couldn't wait for it to be over. This was an attitude shared by the grooms in all four of the weddings I've attended at this point in proceedings - 'God, please let this be over soon without too many casualties'.

The bride was beautiful but who knows how many were sacrificed to get her that way. She's a lovely girl, bless her, but an ugly, ugly being has had control of her body for the last two months.

The great thing was that my family pulled together to make it all happen for them and the ceremony went off without a hitch, as did the dinner and speeches. I got up and told a corrosively embarassing story about each of them and then, as is custom at a Maori wedding, sung a song. I chose 'I Can Change' by Jon Legend. Know this one?

 

'When I look back on all that I done to you

Take it for granted, things I never should do

I see the light now baby it's shining through

Gotta give up the game, I got changin' to do.

 

I wont get high if you want it

Get that straight

Nine to five if you want it

Keep my ass home at night if you want it

Whatever you need me to do

 

When you talk, I'm gon' listen'

Give you all that attention you' missin'

Girl, I swear, I'm gonna handle my business

Just like a real man should do'

 

I can change for you'

 

Yes, about as much subtlety as a punch in da teef. I couldn't help it. Everybody else was singing these mindnumbling, tooth rottingly sweet vignettes about love and the future and stuff and I just can't resist taking the piss. Everybody laughed except the bride. She looked like she'd swallowed a bag of lemons as if my attempt at levity had spoit the whole day. I hope that thing leaves her body soon and we get the old her back.

Needless to say, so does my brother.

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docoflove1974

Why is it that most brides turn into bridezilla?

 

In a word: stress

 

Those who want (or, who are told by their mothers and/or mothers-in-law that they way) a big or medium sized wedding sit there and freak out over every minute detail. Flowers? Dress? Dinner? etc etc

 

As for me, when that day comes for me, it will be simple: either quickie priest-led or judge-led ceremony, and dinner at a restaurant. No more than 50 people. I'd rather spend time on the honeymoon and/or living arrangements ;)

 

Now, the first anniversary? Oh, that'll be a bash. But by that time the pressure will be off, and there might even be a kid running around. But the wedding day isn't quite as special as everyone makes it out to be!

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Ursus

If I ever get married, I just it want it to be me, her. both sets of parents, and a judge.

 

 

Followed by 2 weeks of hanky panky at some undisclosed location.

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dianamt54

Well! I had a beautiful, Catholic, semi big wedding. White Roses, in honor of Richard III and the House of York. I loved being in my wedding dress, but everyone would laugh, it is the typically 1990's dress. Big, puffy shoulder pads. And of course a tiara! I don't think I went that crazy, but who can remember almost 16 years ago. For the most part, men don't take an interest in the details. Some just say, tell me when to show up.

Sulla, you'll like this, my bridesmaids and I had memosa's while getting all made up! But I was sober for the cermony.

The wedding is only one day, then the reality hits the fan. I have known a few women who said marriage was not what they thought! That is so true! Only the strong survive! I went to the apartment office today and there was an older gentleman there with a University of Kansas tee-shirt. Of course that is our enemy, but since being in Texas, I go up to anyone that has to do with Kansas. He was not, but his grandson went there. Anyway, he has been married for 47 years! Oh my Gosh!! Then I said, it is too late to train someone new! Any it is cheaper to keep her!

Hopefully, your sis-in-law will get back to normal.

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Lost_Warrior

If I ever get married, it's going to be a small production, me, him and a few friends. Done in whatever tradition we happen to choose. Hell it might not even be legal, and if we have a legal reason to get hitched, that will be done by a JP.

 

No bridezilla. I just don't have time or energy to be bridezilla.

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Kosmo

At our civil ceremony we only had 1 friend invited becuse we needed 2 witnesses. The other witness was the photographer. Then we went by ourselfs for the religious ceremony at a small church in the mountains, the priest (a friend) told us that we needed godfathers so he brought us a nice couple from the village.

After our wedding trip to Paris and Rome we told everybody about our marriage and saw their jaws dropping ;)

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