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Face To Face

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caldrail

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This is ridiculous. Now that I have to sign on the dole every single working day, my usual routine is upset. I don't know if you've noticed but my blog has mutated into a television critic webpage, and I'm gaining weight because I'm just not active any more. Seriously, I have this notion of turning up to my signing slot tomorrow with my pack and hiking gear.

 

I can just imagine a caustic "Going somewhere Caldrail?"

 

Oh hi Mr Claims Advisor, yeah, I'm off hiking when we're done here, why not come along if you're not signing anybody else today? Fresh air, grassy hills, heavy showers... Can't beat it.... Jobsearch?... Oh... Yeah....

 

Of course I can't leave the reservation because they'll get annoyed and stop my money. And this "Mister Lord" business? I just cannot tell you how stupid that situation is. It's like having dual status, or at least it would do if the first part didn't devalue the second.

 

You see they had this sort of business sussed back in the Middle Ages. You were either a peasant or very important, and any attempt to be anything else was usually punishable by something painful. Or then again, I imagine myself in a regency country house, set in verdant and manicured parkland. Ahhh, Jeeves, be a good fellow and pass the turnips will you? Oh, and do have the ox cart at the front of the house, Lady Rail and I are going farming this afternoon... Hmmm? What was that Dearest?... Jobsearch?... Oh... Yeah....

 

Today is my weekly pow-wow with the big chief claims advisor. Does this white man speak with forked tongue? We'll see. Okay, time to head down to the Job Centre. Gird your loins, Caldrail, this might get ugly.

 

Later That Day

Loins girded, I waited for my name to be called. To be honest, I'd reached a state of vacant meditiation when some chap in a shirt and tie asked "Is Mister Caldrail here?"

 

Gaaah! Not again! He ushered me to a seat and immediately I took the initiative. Pointing out the correct title on the signing booklet, I added politely but firmly that if that was too much for him to swallow, as it was for most people in this office, he was welcome to use my first name.

 

He remained calm, said what he needed to, and printed off an entire wad of job decriptions for me to apply for. I'm not sure who was the winner of that negotiation.

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