caldrail
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Blog Comments posted by caldrail
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On the contrary. Score one for USN anti-satellite technology. By the way, thanks for the advice about treatment for flu. Suggest America puts some of the money spent on anti-satellite technology and diverts it to medecine!
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Well... You say that but... Stonehenge is just down the road and we all know that the druids were running a fuel station for arriving UFOnauts long before the americans made themselves available for experiments and involuntary vacations...
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Oh? Is he any more erudite than anyone else?
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here in Britain we get assailed with news reports, newspaper stories, and magazine articles all trying to convince us that the worlsd is about to change for the worse and we have to do something about it. Like what? Switching off my car engine isn't going to stop several acres of brazilian rainforest from being burned, it isn't going to stop bandits stealing young orangatangs from their mothers, it won't stop poachers shooting elephant or rhino, it won't stop bears being trapped, it won't stop the chinese killing every exotic animal they can lay their hands on to save their fading libidoes. Nor will it effectively stop climate change. We're being made to feel guilty about the enviroment to prevent any criticism of hare brained and expensive schemes. Fact is, the enviroment has become a new religion. We're all expected to join up, to believe we can save the earth if we all pull together. Anyone who doesn't repeat the same sensibilities is ostracised as a polluting monster.
But can we preserve the earth as it is? Of course not. Climate change is a natural cycle and its powered by physical forces somewhat more powerful than us. I wrote something along these ones once before.
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I know what you mean. We're getting foreign lorry drivers bringing in loads from the continent (not for us, but we happen to have the only office-like structure in plain view) asking for all sorts of things in languages I couldn't even begin to understand.
Half past ten mate.
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I don't know if you have this problem in the states but here in blighty a lot of telephone services have been transferred to compainies in India where labour is cheaper. Trying to understand these unfamiliar accents spoken by people for whom english is not their first language is a real pain.
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Well if you've just joined us that was apparently a reaction from George Bush. We'll have an in depth translation of that on the hour. Meanwhile, in other news....
Park to become top tourist attraction
How many times have I heard this about Swindon? Every so often they have this great scheme to put the town on the map, to make a bright, lively place to be, a town to be proud of.
Trouble is, it hasn't occured to these ambitious planners that the average swindoner isn't interested in anything except clubbing on a saturday night, clubbing pensioners for chip money, or clubbing together in various third world ghettoes.
Top tourist attraction eh? I wonder what the admission charge is going to be?
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Oh we don't play at work
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Las Malvinas? Where on earth is... oh... you mean the Falkland Islands? Bit of a faux pas there GO.
South Carolina would be fine. Please make the arrangements.
Our MP isn't Bertie Wooster, but the Lord Mayor of London is Boris Johnson - He comes close.
Rushey Platt Eleven against those wimps from Spittle Croft? Whats the point in turning up, we're bound to win. Just make the score 3-1 by default and we won't hurt anyone
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A worthy answer Docoflove... (munch)... yeah I can see where you're coming from... (belch).... Darn good burger this....
By the way GO, not every day is a calamity, its just I don't want to boast excessively and in any case, lifes little trials are so much more entertaining to read. But just for you, here's what happened last night.
I was at a celebrity party hosted by the beckhams when these terrorists burst in. Needless to say, I used my SAS training to employ a candlestick as a lethal weapon. Swinging in over their heads via chandelier I despatched the villains, won the heart of the requisite love interest, and discovered to my absolute joy I have a winning ticket in the lotto. Then I woke up.
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Leeches? I'll have you know its the rising cost of leech supply thats brought our National Health Service to its knees. There's nothing like leeches, iodine, and the sight of a large saw to cure most ailments in our merry isles. You yanks have been mollycoddled by expensive private healthcare for too long. Now you know why we have such a stiff upper lip
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Why bother? There's plenty left on the pavement on Sunday morning...
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Exception noted GO. I'll inform Mr McKenna to leave you alone, he's on his way to America at the moment.
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Well... My luck hasn't been too good lately, but you never know, it might get better.
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Yes I'm sure - I had a clear view of what they were doing. She had a clear of me watching too, and got quite irate a few days later. What does she expect?...
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Me no understandee...
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I'm sorry sir, but driving on the right simply isn't british...
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Yup! Please translate into Yank Speak when you have lots of time on your hands and foots:
Swindon in days of yore - When knights were bold, and toilets weren't invented ...?
trading estate = Something like a 'stock market'?
Allotment gardens =
housing estate = a place for the very rich?
cycle track =
goods station = Where highway smokies hang out?
Okus = "Oklahoma!, where the wind runs right behind the rain..."?
Swindon is mentioned in the Domesday Book after William the Conqueror landed and conquered in 1066 with his Norman buddies, descendants of vikings from france. Swindon (the name means 'pig hill') was divided into five diocese, one of which was given to Bishop Odo, half-brother to William himself.
Swindon wasn't the center of the universe (it still isn't) and remained an isolated town with only four roads in and out, these having toll gates when liquor smuggling became Swindons growth industry in the rambuctuous 18th century. The old town on the hill has long had rumours of tunnels for smugglers to transfer barrels of rum and ineed, some of these have been found in building restorations in recent years. The Bell Inn in old town was once a coach stop and dates from the 16th century.
Trading Estate - an area of buildings built for business/commercial use, either as offices, warehouses, or small industries.
Allotment gardens - Areas of land allocated to interested indivuals for growing vegetables. Much less popular now than in previous decades, and when I was young, there were several areas where these gardens had long been abandoned.
Housing Estate - New housing developments. Although not intended for the rich, its often difficult to afford the prices of these buildings, and many are deliberately targeted at affluent middle class families. There's been a recent move toward affordable housing for first time buyers... Yeah right.
Cycle track - a route set aside for bicycles (available for pedestrians and horse riders too, but no motorised transport). Old railways are popular for this and the M&SWJR can be followed all the way south to Marlborough, plus the route is being extended to Cricklade in the north so I hear.
Goods Station - A railroad depot where passengers services don't call. They used to stop at Rushey Platt Junction when the M&SWJR first crossed the GWR mainline, but there wasn't enough traffic to justify it. To be honest, there wasn't enough goods traffic for the four platforms either.
Okus - Not sure where the name comes from, though one suspects it has a latinised origin. I can state quite categorically that it has nothing to do with hollywood musicals. Actually, Okus was the site of Swindons gallows during the brief period in the 18th century when we had our own (criminals were usually sent to Devizes for execution), and the was once an infirmary there too, now the site of a school threatened with closure. A quarry, now mostly filled in, is adjacent to the school and is used as their sports ground - it is actually a flattened grassy area now, with a small corner left to show where the rock face once was.
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Swindon...the only thing I know about that is it is the 'other Office' of Wernham Hogg Paper Company...or, at least it was in Ricky Gervais' head.
He got that absolutely right. Swindon is like an old woman who dresses in the latest fashions and goes nightclubbing to attract the young men.
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Rushey Platt! Wouldn't the proper British be Rushfordshire or Plattboroughsexingham?
Gaah! No way! First of all Rushey Platt is an independent peanut republic, not a mere shire. Secondly, its a rainforest in Darkest Wiltshire, not a ford, and thirdly, it in no way resembles a borough. The proper english name for Rushey Platt is... well... Rushey Platt.
Actually, to be strictly accurate, Rushey Platt was once a county parish (and a village?) down the hill from a small market town called Swindon in days of yore. Rushey refers to the natural marshland that once dominated the area, and there's still a small corner of it left as a nature reserve down by the Wilts & Berks canal. The site of Ladds Mill is now a pub. Much of the area was owned by Rushey Platt farm, whose cottage still stands in the corner of a small scrapyard at the back of a garage in a trading estate, on the site of the sawmill that traded lumber up until the 1970's. Allotment gardens and a ghastly new housing estate have filled the rmaining land. The Great Western mainline from London to Bristol is still in use, but the line that crossed over it, the Midland & South West Junction Railway, has long since disappeared and partly converted to a cycle track. The junction between the lines was right next to Rushey Platt Farm and the remains of the old goods station there are still visible. The escarpment of Okus is just across the canal to the northeast, where there was once a roman farmstead.
Any questions?
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These days in Blighty you get nailed for driving. The government want our cash and have invented lots of insidiuous ways to catch us doing what we're licensed to do.
Seems a strange though that I offer advice to an american driver to speed up...
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The police did turn up once obviously hoping to cart me away for 'making it all up'. Funny thing is, how come a car can suffer stonechips in exactly the same place repeatedly when the rest of the car doesn't suffer? That a stone scrapes away a length of paint rather like a metal edge might? At any rate, I had a public disagreement with the two police officers over it and one of them got a right lecture from me over the phone. If it comes to that, how come a car can suddenly have a deeper chassis, a raised seating position, slower steering, almost no acceleration, much reduced grip etc etc...
Somebody's been having fun at my expense, and I'm left with a dead car, beyond economic repair. What are the police going to do about that now I'm thousands of pounds out of pocket? Actually they smirk when they pass me on the street.
Aren't the british police wonderful?
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Thanks GO. Without you, the space alien plot would have suckered me in. Now I'm prepared. Interesting that you mention black helicopters because we often see one over Rushey Platt. No, seriously. After all the fuss I made to the police about my car they even hovered over me once when I was out the back cleaning it.
Ye gods!!! Was I abducted? Am I blissfully unaware of being prodded with cold metal rods and sex with green alien bimbo's?
Must destroy.....
Woah, what happened there?....
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I'll bump into things if I don't. Looks like I'm going to be a pedestrian for a long time to come.
We Are Not Alone!!!!
in caldrail's Blog
A blog by caldrail in General
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You are also aware I take it that Glastonbury is the UFO capital of the world even today? Hate to break it to you, but thats in downtown west country england.
Actually the problem with the druids is that they got abducted. Thats why the stonehenge rest stop went out of business.
Also, we now know that Cardiff in Wales is alien central station for planet earth. Sorry, but if Will Smith wants to chase aliens in sharp suits, he needs to cross the Atlantic.