GhostOfClayton

I only started to understand what an addiction to painkillers was when I replaced paracetamol with cocodamol (soluble painkiller, and i think the same sort of thing they put in Lemsip). I'm not addicted, but I can now see how it might happen to someone. Anyway, the up side is that I can now appreciate and savour a fine old vintage of Lemsip, just like one might appreciate a good wine. What have I learned from that? I am one damaged individual.

You may have noticed that I didn’t publish my twice weekly blog on Thursday. That’s for two reasons. The first (and probably most pertinent one) is that I had a blog up my sleeve saved in my e-mail drafts, and when I came to look for it, it had gone. Shame. It was a dang good one that explained what a ‘Snowclone’ and an ‘Oxford Comma’ are. The second reason is that, as a responsible blogger, I feel I should talk about the recent events in Paris. Such a weighty subject clearly deserves more of my attention and thought than I usually give to my blogs, hence the delay. You have my apologies (he said as if you cared about, or had even noticed, the delay.) Most importantly, I would like to use this opportunity (on behalf of all UNRV subscribers, I’m sure) to send a message of both sympathy and solidarity to our friends in the French Capital. Now to add my voice to the analysis. All the debate seems to centre around freedom of speech. That’s a no-brainer to most people; we should have it. And I agree. Simple. No argument to be had. Or is there? Do we have free speech in ‘The West’? imagine a line running between less controversial topics on the left, towards more controversial topics on the right. There was nothing political about my choice of left and right there, that’s how mathematicians arrange these types of axis – get over it! As we start our journey from left to right, we’re on pretty comfortable territory, “should the BBC be able to report negatively about a poorly performing government?” That’s the kind of question that most would answer “yes” to. Let’s press on. Should UKIP supporters be able to say “there are too many Eastern Europeans in east coast English cities?” Most people think political parties like UKIP or the British National Party, whilst not overtly racist, seem motivated by zenophobia, but few people would deny them the right to speak up. Let’s keep going on our journey. “In my opinion, there are too many people with dark skins living in London” says a BNP spokesman. That would be overtly racist, and respectable, right-thinking people would abhor it. Should he be allowed to say it? We have a law against incitement to racial or religious hatred in the UK, which Mr BNP may fall foul of if he chanted it repeatedly at a football ground, but if he just was overheard saying it to a couple of UKIP supporting friends in a pub, he probably would be OK. But should he be allowed to chant it repeatedly at a football ground? If he was prosecuted for doing so, isn’t that gagging him from giving his opinion? Suddenly, the world of free speech isn’t quite so clear cut, is it? Anyway, somewhere along the journey, we would come across the question “Should newspaper cartoonists be allowed to draw an image of the Prophet Mohamed (PBUH)?” There are plenty of very clever wordsmiths that could make you firmly believe this was in a grey area. I don’t think it is. I think it’s a pretty clear “Yes”. A very clever man once said, “Whilst I may not agree with what you say, I would defend to the death your right to say it.” To digress a little. These blogs have the option of attaching a little picture, and one way I could have stated that I stand clearly four-square with the Parisian cartoonists, and against the Jihadist types who committed the atrocity, was to use that opportunity to reprint one of the offending cartoons. That would show the extremists that they haven’t won. Trouble is, the collateral damage would be to the many, many ordinary Muslims, who would be offended by my behaviour. And I choose not to cause offence to respectable people whenever it can be avoided. I even put PBUH following the Profit Mohamed’s name (PBUH) when I mentioned him above, because I thought some of the respectable people who read this blog and happen to be Muslims, might be mildly pleased that I had. It’s a ‘respect for other people’ issue. So, my message for you is to respect other people. If we all did that, it wouldn’t be such a bad old world.

I really don't understand the logic behind the answer to 5.13 question 2. Can anyone explain?

Isn't it good!

If you look into Elite:Dangerous, Viggen, please do 2 things: 1. Let me know how it goes. 2. Write off 2015.

Can't help you, Cinzia (hopefully someone else can), but I'm looking forward to the novel. Any sneaky insider peeks to be had?

I would really love to go to NO. Homicide and crime not an issue - sensible precautions can always be taken (though there are some areas of the southern US I wouldn't feel comfortable (probably irrational). It would presumably be considerably warmer than Lincolnshire in January. I bet you can't guess where I am at the moment.

I signed up for this course, but unfortunately the first, second and third weeks coincided with a stint I was spending in New York. I made a start, but really had no time to give it the attention it deserved. My job in the warehouse has now finished, and I'm starting the course again - it is still available to me. It will be available again next year as well. So far, I've completed the first 3 weeks and am into the fourth. If I'm honest, I'm slightly disappointed by the level it's pitched at - I was hoping for something a little more in depth. I'd hoped for more about the wall itself, the extant remains, various theories about them, etc. It hasn't taught me an awful lot about that area that I didn't know, in fact it hasn't taught me an awful lot I didn't already know in any aspect. What it did do was offer a fresh perspective to life on the wall, tied together and reinterpreted the things I already knew in ways I hadn't before. I'm enjoying it very much, but for those without a professional interest who missed it last time, my recomendation is to wait for the next time (presumably September again). I'm missing out on the community, commenting and such like, aspects of it, which would've been really good, I think.

Thanks, Viggen. Well, I did wish everyone a HNY in my blog, but I'm happy to repeat that here. Happy New year to one and all.

I've seen this now. It really had very little new to say, and some of the things it did say were popular or long disproved myths. That sounds like a critcism, but that really isn't, when you consider the target audience. Remember, this is prime-time ITV1, second only for viewing figures to the mighty BBC1. This was targetted squarely at the casual audience, aiming (I think) to ignite a passing interest for a short time only. To educate by entertaining, rather than to entertain by education. It did this very well indeed. Christine Bleakley represented that audience beautifully, asking the experts what the ley audience would ask, and showing interest in the things they would be interested in. A good mix of experts were on hand, usually drawn from local museums and universities, so it was nice to see some new faces on the telly. When I said it had very little new to say, there was one thing I didn't know, and felt I should mention. I had no idea there was a good piece of Roman Wall in a car park under London. I've since researched it, and will be going to have a look next time I'm down there. To find it, head for the Museum of London, and then find the extant part of Roman Wall just to the east of it on the street called London Wall. There's an entrance to London Wall car park. head down into the car park, and locate bay 52. Voilà!

I watched the programme (and will review on the other thread) and, as was alluded to before, you are 100% correct. VERY well spotted indeed, I think, as I couldn't place it myself at first, despite many, many visits to Vindolanda.

Happy New 2015! Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin. It’s traditional at this time of year to have a sort of review of the past year, outlining key events and so on. Since I did bugger-all of any worth whatsoever in 2014, I won’t waste your time. Instead, I’ll tell you what I’d like to achieve in 2015. As ever, for those that don’t really know me (which is all of you – this blog is kept strictly a secret from anyone I actually interact with, just in case they laugh at me), some context will be required before I tell you my dreams and goals for this year. When Young OfClayton (That’s me. Pay attention!) hadn’t had the joy and ambition ground away out of him by life, he went to college, full of dreams and aspirations for a bright future (what a gullible and naive git he was). His first year at college was utterly wasted because most of the time he should have spent learning stuff was actually spent playing snooker. Anyway, through what must’ve been divine intervention, he actually passed his exams and his coursework and was accepted for a second year on the course. The course was a sandwich course, and the second year was spent working. This was good for Young OfClayton, because your evenings and weekends are your own, and nobody gives a shit if you waste them on non-productive pursuits. The third year saw Young OfClayton back at college, with a very different attitude to the waste-of-space that barely scraped through his first year. Things would change this year; no more would I waste my time playing snooker. And true to my word, I didn’t. Instead, I wasted my time playing ‘Elite’. I feel I must explain what Elite is, though I’m sure 90% of my audience are familiar with it. It was a video game played on the BBC Micro. It was the original and seminal space trading game, in which you played the pilot of a spaceship. The aim (unsurprisingly) was to fly around and shoot things. It was a really, really playable game that you could easily become totally immersed in. The graphics were ground-breaking, the universe it existed in was believable, the action was thick and fast. It was . . . just . . . totally . . . frickin . . . awesome. And I played it a LOT. As an aside, there is now a new game called ‘Elite: Dangerous’. This is effectively the same game, by the same people, but brought up to date. If the ‘white-lines-plotted-on-black’ of Elite was awesome, can you imagine how awesome it is when displayed using 21st century computer graphics? Mere words just cannot do it justice. It is the Mona Lisa, The Ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Beethoven’s Vth, Grand Unified Field Theory. It is a thing of unrivalled joy and beauty to behold. So, what are my hopes and dreams for 2015? Basically, I aspire to spend every hour not spent sleeping or pissing, playing that game. However, I know deep down in my soul that this ambition is never meant to be. Mrs OfClayton won’t let me. I haven’t asked her, but I know she would never allow it; what sane woman would? Instead I shall have to squander my time fulfilling my responsibilities to my wife and household, earning the respect of my community, and being a productive member of society. What a waste!

Today is Christmas Day, so I've obviously planned my twice fortnightly blog really badly. It's traditional for those addressing a group at this time of year to offer up an appropriately festive greeting, and so I offer the following to you, dear readers. 1. Christians. “Merry Christmas.” (I bet you’re mortified at what your solemn religious date has become) 2. Observers of non-Christian religions. Sometime around now, I’m sure you guys have your own particular it's-past-the-mid-winter-solstice-so-things-can-only-get-better celebration (do let me know if your particular religion doesn’t. I’m interested in that stuff). So, “Happy it's-past-the-mid-winter-solstice-so-things-can-only-get-better celebration!” 3. Non-religious folk (northern hemisphere only – antipodeans have sunshine already). Keep your head down and think of Spring – we’ll get through this thing together. Anyway, it’s also traditional to give gifts, and I have a gift for you all. Seriously. You doubt me? Here we go. I am the following three things: A fairly frequent flier Tall Owner of a weasel-like mindset Numbers one and two cause me misery when the [obscenity deleted] in front reclines their seat. Number three has provided me with an easy and free solution that I will now share with you. Please pass this round to all your friends, tweet it, put it on Facebook, etc. I would be delighted if it went viral. Before the aircraft starts moving, familiarise yourself with, and practice the actions that follow. As soon as the aircraft is off the ground, take out the In Flight magazine. Read it if you will, but the main reason for taking it out is as a time saver for number three. Don’t let reading it distract you, because number three must be done very quickly. AS SOON AS the seat belt light goes off, drop your tray table. You will see it is supported by an armature at either side. Place the In Flight Magazine on the tray table with the spine away from you, overhanging the left or right of the table by about 5cm Slide the magazine firmly forwards, allowing it to drop off the far end of the tray table and downwards. Apply downward pressure on the spine to ensure it is firmly wedged between the armature and the seat in front. It is now physically impossible for the passenger in front to recline their seat. Put headphones on, and pretend to be asleep if they get up. DO NOT recline your own seat – it would make you a hypocrite. I expect to be trolled by lots of people saying, “I paid for a reclining seat, and it would be wrong of you to deny me of that.” (Except they would liberally sprinkle those words with Fs, and Cs, and probably call me Hitler – and the spelling and grammar would be appalling). Some may even threaten to rape/kill myself/my family. That’s fine – the internet is a free medium, and free speech is paramount. But trolls should consider this before posting: Imagine aircraft seats were designed with a little switch in the back (operated by the passenger in the seat behind), to lock/unlock the reclining mechanism. In what position would you place that switch, for the seat in front of YOU? Enjoy your gift. It will last you a lifetime.

I'd never realised what a f***up I was until you told me. At least this will make my CV stand out: Specialist Areas: New York, Hadrian's Wall, Maritime Alps, Provence, Northern Netherlands Specialist knowledge: Roman History, Paraphilias related to Sexual Cannibalism, Now I really will be needing that sex dungeon.

Hail, Caesar Here's George Clooney as Ceasar, in a publicity shot from a film called 'Hail Caesar'. There you go. Something for the ladies, something for those with a man-crush on the Divine GJC (you know who you are! ), and something for all us Romanophiles here on UNRV. Or is it? A swift look at IMDB reveals that this comedy is set in the 50s Holywood cinema industry. Presumably it's a film about a film about GJC. C'est la vie!

I didn't realise I was shouting that loudly, Caldrail.

Getting us back on topic. This is a fair-minded and informative review of what looks like it could be an enjoyable read. Caldrail does touch on the quality of presentation, and paucity of content though. I have to admit that my first impression on seeing the cover was THERE SHOULD BE AN APOSTROPHE AFTER PERVERTS (or at least before the s). I know you're thinking "that's just OfClayton trivialising someone's hard work", but I assure you it isn't. I won't be buying this book, because that ommission makes it look very cheaply produced and casually editted. I can't take it as a serious work with such a glaring error. I know - there should be less pedant's in the world.

Somebody should stop this thread before it crosses a line. Maybe it already has.

Good story, Onasander. I like it. In answer to your first question, my reaction would be to give a clear and unambiguous 'No' to both the great Mr Brahe, and any part of his menagerie. Even after a few pints of beer (me, not the moose).

I will watch the programme and see if you're right. (you ARE right, but I want to maintain an air of mystery and suspense.)

This one arose from this post so there may be clues. I have my thoughts, but I'm not 100% sure. However, get guessing, because this has an end date of Tues 23rd Dec.

Not seen this one yet. Interesting choice of Christine Bleakley as a presenter. She's certainly a safe pair of hands in TV land. She's endearing, and has a very enaging Irish accent which, if I'm honest, I do find just a little sexy (once I've established she won't eat me and I can't eat her), but is much better known for magazine programmes rather than anything with acedemic content. We will see how she pans out, but ITV is more of a popular channel than one aimed at acedemia, so she could well be a good choice to bring Roman Britain to the masses. Roman Britain From The Air Country: UK Channel: ITV1 Date: Tue 23 Dec 2014 Time: 2000 GMT for 60 mins Episodes: 1 Link: [url=http://www.itv.com/presscentre/ep1week52/roman-britain-air]ITV1[/url] As usual, this one is on ITV Player. If you're living outside this green and pleasant land, you may not be able to get it. Sorry. I'm not sure i can recognise where they're standing. Looks like a possibility for 'Guess the Ancient City'. I'll go and post now.

I've already seen this one, but it will be repeated as below. It covers a lot of the same ground as the Mary Beard one, but has been brought a little up to date, and has some new angles. 'Pompeii: the Mystery of the People Frozen in Time' Country: UK Channel: BBC 4 Date: Mon 29 Dec 2014 Time: 1900 GMT for 60 mins Episodes: 1 Link: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01rn6c2'>BBC 4 As usual, this one is on iPlayer. if you're living outside this green and pleasant land, you may not be able to get it. Sorry. My Review: As mentioned before, this covers a lot of the same ground as Prof. Beard's offering, but does bring some new stuff to the table. Margaret Mountford is a good choice of presenter. For those not familiar with her, she was Sir Alan Sugar's right hand man (woman) on the UK version of The Apprentice. Quite frankly she brought the only touch of class to that entire programme, and did it well. She's clearly from a strong business background, so you may think a little unsuitable to handle a BBC4 history programme (BBC4 is quite an acedemic channel). However she left The Apprentice to study for her PhD in Papyrology at University College London, and her thesis was entitled 'Documentary papyri from Roman And Byzantine Oxyrhynchus'. So I would disagree. And she handled the subject very well indeed, questionning experts with a sort intelectual curisoity, and confidence she was pretty much on an equal footing with them. To summarise. Good programme overall with excellent historical content and a very good presenter, however possibly a touch 'same-old, same-old'.

Of course, our primitive brain's reaction to #4 would vary based on whether the biological entity in question was, say, an elk, an overweight tour guide, or an astronomer.

By extension, the fourth question would be "Will it shag me?"