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I LOVE MY DREMMEL!!!! Random blue stone lying around the house, seed, silver, and rainbow obsidian beads. My new natural alexandrite ring: (sunlight) (incandescent light) I'm just taking it easy today. I have had three panic attacks in the past two days, and I'm trying to relax, and get this under control before I have to go back to work tomorrow. I'm somewhere in between "keep myself occupied" and "don't do anything stressful" and hoping for a good day. Merry Christmas everyone!!!

We did all our Christmas stuff Friday, and yesterday. I have a 4 day weekend, so mom figured I might as well have my stuff so that I can use it on my days off. She gave me a dremmel (well...similar thing) which I am going to have a ton of fun with. I have a bunch of stones in various states of tumbled, polished and unpolished, and I have plans for them! I made one thing yesterday, a beautiful piece of Montana agate with a gold sunrise etched on it...for Cernnunnos in honor of Yule. I was very pleasantly surprised to find that my Polychromos colored pencils work on stone!!! WHOOT!! The possibilities are truly endless. There is a piece of moss agate upstairs awaiting it's fate to become my newest piece of bindrune work. I also got some Artclay, and an electric shaver (which is something I really wanted...yay no more bathtub acrobatics to shave my legs!). My favorite thing, though, is a natural alexandrite ring. I knew I was getting it, for months, actually, because it's impossible to keep a secret from me for long; but I can't believe my mom found one that CLEAR. There is a tiny flaw in it...which I haven't seen but others have...which can only be seen under very high (11x or so) magnification. So it IS real. But wow. Merry Christmas everyone!!

I'm not usually the superstitious type, but dead cows in the road at 5.30 AM are a bad omen. An overturned cattle hauler turned my 15 minute morning drive into an hour and 45 minutes, during which I got lost, and went I don't know how many miles out of my way. Fortunately, my boss and supervisor both thought it was hilarious. When I got there they asked me if I needed a map to get to the other side of the shop. "Can you find your way to the Robodrill?" "Better paint some arrows on the floor for her Joe". Yea sure. When the fire chief says "Funny you should want to come through here" you know it's not good. I have used up my sanity quota for the day. If you want sanity, leave your name and number. There is a waiting list.

I completed another bindrune pendant--this one goes on the rear view mirror of my car, for protection during travel. It was inspired by a rather harrowing journey home from work last Thursday. It's snowing again, GRRRR. Snow and ice. *Knock on wood* the power did not go out. We thought it would, with all of the ICE and snow. I hope to hell I can get to work safely tomorrow, or that it's bad enough that I can call off...because I nearly didn't make it into work Friday morning. Oh, the roads were fine, but I was spinning my wheels (and burning rubber) trying to get into the parking lot. Of course I had to give Chuck hell because after I FINALLY got in (on the 7th or 8th try), went inside and started work, THEN Chuck grabbed the snow shovel and went outside. I said "Oh, sure Chuck, NOW you decide to shovel the parking lot! After I had to try 8 times to get in!!!" I don't think I'll be visiting my family for Christmas...the weather up here is too unpredictable and it's been storming a LOT...like, every weekend. I don't want to drive 200 miles in this s***.

It's been a while since I updated this, so without further ado, I give you: Tribal Carnival!!! It has been a long four weeks, LOL. Here's hoping the next few are a lot better. I need to ask tomorrow about what we're doing at work for Christmas. I need to know, so that I can make plans to see the other half of my family. Hopefully I'll be able to see them for a few days, at least. I'm sorry to say that my grandmother is not doing so well, and I want to get to see her as much as possible now.

I suppose I should count myself VERY lucky concerning today's events. And I feel quite free to laugh about them now. So today started out relatively normal; I got up at 5:05 or so...I have to leave at 5:30 mind you to get to work. But this is normal, and I usually wind up leaving at about 5:35 and getting there five minutes or so early. So I'm driving to work, as usual. I am almost there, and just as I am entering New Albany (I'm slowing down, as the speed limit changes from 45 to 25 right up ahead) I go around a blind turn. And there, right in the middle of my lane is... A deer. Sprawled completely across my lane. Quite obviously DOA, and very much in my way. Now, I came around the turn going probably 35 mph...when I saw the unfortunate creature I slammed on my brakes. To late, of course, to stop completely. I could not swerve right, there was not enough room. If I'd swerved left, I would have had to be in the other lane. Nothing was coming, however I had no time to swerve, either. So I aimed my car directly for it, thinking if I "straddled it" I would do the least amount of damage to my 2 year old car. Keep in mind, the bumper of my car is only about a foot off of the road. It's a small car, with a low hanging plastic bumper, and low profile tires. So, inevitably, I hit the deer, going about 15 or 20 mph...I would guess. And drove over it. My front right tire, I think, went over the head. The rest passed under my car; scraped my undercarriage... And left my car completely undamaged. Now, I do have a few hairs on my bumper and underneath the car. I do have a "hot dead meat" smell when I drive the car. What I don't have, is a single scratch from the incident. In hindsight, it's pretty amazing. And pretty funny. I bet it was hilarious from an "outside" point of view; a small, sporty Ford Focus driving completely over a deer. One expects this sort of behavior from the drivers of large, tough SUV's...not small sedans. I'd already knew my car handled snow well. Now I know it handles deer well as well. So, I'm at work, and it's almost lunch time. Scratch that, it IS lunch time. I'm deburring a part and the scraper slips--I slice my thumb open, and it immediately starts bleeding like crazy. Now, as soon as I finish deburring these three parts (I'm working on the first of them) I can go to lunch. Wiping the blood off on my pants doesn't work; it just keeps bleeding, so I grab a shop towel and wrap my thumb in it, and try to hold it there while I keep working. When I'm done (not an easy feat with a towel wrapped around your thumb) I ask my boss for a bandaid. Now, I'm hungry. Have been for an hour or more. Usually, my own blood does not bother me...to badly. But I'm hungry, and the cut is deep (into the meat) I can tell by the feel. I notice the depth of it when I'm washing it off and waiting for my boss to return with the bandaid. So, while he bandages my hand, I sit on the arm of a chair, staring at the ceiling, trying not to pass out. The blood didn't bother me a bit, but the knowledge that I'd cut into the muscle, did. As soon as he's done I grab my lunch...and sit there for a few minutes waiting till the dizziness passes. Then I get some sugar (gatorade) in me and chow down. I return to work, feeling OK and finish my shift. I was going to wash my car on the way home, but the way this day has been (two bad incidents and two "near misses" that could have been worse), I decided to head straight home. The roads are still wet from the snow and rain, and it is salty, so washing my car today wouldn't do any good anyhow. I'll wash it sometime during the coming four day weekend.

OK, I must deserve some sort of prize for this one. You know, for my superior grace and dignity. Here's the story: I was coming down with an ear infection this weekend. Now, I'm prone to ear infections, especially in my right ear. I know what they feel like. They can be excruciating! Normally, I would get myself to the doctor for antibiotic drops STAT however it was Sunday. I was no way no how going to the emergency room for an ear infection, so I did what I could to patch myself up at home. If it wasn't better by today, I planned to see a doc. To that, I added a prayer to my deities and a promise of a half a bottle of sparkling grape juice (I normally offer a few ounces every week) and this was accepted. I got the feeling that it was accepted immediately, and lo and behold, this morning, my ear was feeling much better and continued to get better throughout the day. (Keeping in mind, that it had gotten bad enough that it *doesn't* improve with home remedies. It was well beyond "I feel one coming on" and had gotten into "definitely infected" territory). As promised, I poured the half bottle (more than that, actually) into my libation bowl on my altar. A whole bottle wouldn't have fit even; the bowl was quite full. I said a few quick words of thanks and left it on my altar for a few hours. After that, I planned to take it outside and pour it into the ground; I don't like to leave juices on my altar overnight they tend to turn sour. I *planned* to take it outside; here's what really happened: I picked up the bowl, and took it out of my room, as usual. I started to walk down the steps, carefully (!) carrying the bowl. Halfway down the steps, I slipped. Classic, feet in the air, flat on my ass, butt plant in the middle of the stairs. A veritable fountain of grape juice all OVER the stairs. All OVER the walls. All OVER my clothes, AND my head. I screamed and sat there quite stunned for a moment. Commenced swearing. Got up, started scrubbing as best I could, the grape juice out of the stairs and off the walls. Pour what's left of grape juice outside. Come inside, change clothes, take a second shower, wash grape stained clothes. Whoever decided that stairs should be carpeted must DIE I tell you!!! Fortunately the carpet is old, ugly, patterned and pretty non-stainable. Nothing will show up on it. I don't know what hurts worse; my ass or having to clean up the mess!! So who did I piss off?

I finished this, finally, in about 10 hours of work. There's a lot more symbolism in it than I intended...actually the unintended stuff seems to be the more meaningful. I made this to use with Runic divination.

This week was actually pretty good, all things considered. Still, I'm tired. I was sick over the weekend, and started out the week not being able to eat well, so I was already off to a nasty start. Add to that hormone fluctuations and a few other things, and well, it went well but I'm glad it's over. My beads from Fire Mountain came yesterday, and I made a couple of bracelets. I'm not entirely happy with them, for various reasons, but I am mostly satisfied with how they came out. Elemental Fire bracelet: Elemental Water bracelet: The Firelands: (a single image of a volcano in Hawaii. Photomanip. The original image looks nothing like this, it can be found Here. ) Flight of Desire: Enjoy!!

Wow it's been a long while since I wrote something in here! I'm really starting to enjoy my work, not that I wouldn't rather be home, but because I don't have anything to worry about when I come home. It's wonderful! My boss switched my hours this week, so I start at 6 AM and get out at 12 PM...not bad, not bad at all. I have the whole afternoon off. Life has been crazy though, not so much on a physical level but on a spiritual one. I'm not complaining but I could do with a break sometimes. With Samhain fast approaching it only promises to get crazier!! Just ordered a bunch of beads from Fire Mountain, well actually, will send the order in soon. I can't wait until they get here, I have a few ideas for jewelery which I can't wait to make!! The harp playing isn't going as well as I'd hoped, I seem to have lost interest while I was getting all of the issues straightened out. However, I hope to get some time to play soon. This weekend promises to be devoted entirely to rest, laying around on the couch, screwing around on the computer...etc. I'll have the whole house to myself and I'll NEED the rest, so I can't wait. I have been fluish all day (and unfortunately this is upsetting my stomach). I certainly hope I feel better tomorrow!! I don't want to call off work, as I know my coworkers need me to be there, and I actually like them, so I'd hate to disappoint. Flu or no, I'm going through with my Full Moon rite tonight. It should only take about a half an hour...consists only of chanting, really and some 'basic' energy work. And a journal entry which I'm doing as soon as I'm done here. Not stressful at all, and even though I'm sick it is important to me to keep up with it.

She's here, and in good condition. There is a small odd mark in the finish however that can be remedied with some furniture polish and I'm not worried about it. I'm not tuning her a lot at one time, giving the strings and frame some time to "rest" in between, hoping to avoid undue stress on her.

This was my first attempt at doing anything even remotely like this (on all levels) and I am very pleased with the result! When I do something like this again (I will, because I truly enjoyed making it) I will hopefully have a better woodburner, (what I have is a soldering iron which can't really do curves...and doesn't get hot enough to really mark the wood) and I will be a bit more careful with the colors (the gold tends to smear). I'll also be pickier about my wood. Made from a slice of Hemlock, some colored pencil for the color (these particular pencils work great on wood) and some beads on waxed linen cord. The Runic design is for Strength, Health, Protection and Courage (bonus points to anyone who can figure out which Runes I used.)

Watching my blog slide down the list I realized it HAS been a while since I posted anything, so here goes! The harp has been sent back for a return. It arrived in Florida yesterday, so a new one should have been shipped today. I'm guessing it will be here Wednesday or Thursday. Hopefully this one will arrive safely and undamaged. Work continues to go great, my boss has gotten into the habit of sending me on road trips in company vehicles (one of which is nicknamed the "old gelapi" and driving it was quite interesting) which does get me "out and about" a bit. Overall I enjoy it, though I have some stressful days, I don't have many (I occasionally feel like the guy who is training me the most gets fed up with me...he doesn't really show it but I do get that feeling). These past two weeks have seemed to just FLY by, even though they have worn me out. I've been working through some icky past life memories and a few other things, trying in spite of everything else I'm doing to keep up with my Pathwork and still attempting to find time for my artwork and writing. I also finally gave in and downloaded Pixia again, so I can once again do digital art.

...and looks like it's going to have to be sent back. There's what looks like a crack, or at least, a shoddy glue job, where the two pieces of the frame meet. At the very least, it will probably effect the sound. Still waiting to hear back from the girl I bought it from, to see if it's an issue. Mom is *insisting* that it's not a problem but I think it probably is.

My new job is going great, I feel like my old self again, and I haven't felt this good since...well...it's been probably a year now!! I'm starting to write poetry again, too; I haven't written in quite a while. Picked up a book of Tennyson poems at a used book store, and that has definitely renewed my interest in poetry. As for the harp, well, it appears as though the crack is getting bigger. it also looks like the top part of the frame is listing off to the side. There seems very little chance at this point that the damage is merely cosmetic, despite what my mom says (she has never played a harp before, and there are plenty of people who have happy to contradict her). I think unless I find out from the maker otherwise, I'm going to have to send her back for an exchange. so it will be a little while (a couple weeks) before I have a playable harp again.

I just bought a beautiful, brand new, rosewood and mahogany Celtic harp last night!!! I can't wait until it gets here!! I can't imagine what possessed me (I spent about three weeks' pay on the thing) but I am so excited about it!!!! I got a pretty good deal on it, harp, case, two books, extra strings and tuning tool for about 300 bucks. This is the harp I'm getting, but I found it as a combo deal on Ebay instead of buying it from here.

My first two days of work have been tough. Yesterday was bad because I had practically no sleep for the two nights before that. Today went fairly well, and I am really starting to enjoy it...but I'm still hoping that I made the right choice, because I'm having "darker moments" of extreme doubt...which I really don't understand. I go from feeling like this job is the best thing that could have happened to me to feeling like I've had a bad feeling about it all along and I should have listened to myself and now I'm "stuck"... I did kind of want for this job *not* to work out so I could just take the job at the Market and everything would be easy...but this job is perfect in so many ways!! The hours are great, the pay is OK (not great, but not terrible either), my boss and coworkers are *really* laid back, and so far the job has been really easy and relatively safe as well. I really don't understand these moments of doubt...it feels almost like I'm bipolar or something. The past week has been downright awful...I don't know if it's hormones or what. I am feeling pretty crummy right now as a matter of fact. It doesn't feel like blood sugars...because blood sugars cause different symptoms than this. I'll be feeling great, and relaxed, and carefree one minute, and the next I won't even be able to remember ever having been happy or imagine ever being happy again!! This SUCKS!! And I really don't know what's causing it, which double sucks!!!

OMG YAY!!! I got a job!! A totally awesome job, with wonderful hours, and I talked to my boss on the phone and in person and he seems REALLY cool. It's doing machine/metal work, and I've done that manner of work before and I LOVED IT!! I'm SO excited to start tomorrow!! WhOoT!!!

Ye gods, today has been a day!! I'm exhausted!! I've now got not one, but two jobs "on the line". Yesterday I put in an application at the Dushore Market...again. This morning, after going on a mad search for a wood burning tool, I picked up a newspaper and saw an ad for a machine operator at HTM. I went up and applied, except they were only looking for night shift (shift ending at midnight). I told them I really didn't want to work nights, but I put in an application anyway, and he said he'd keep it on file in case a day position opened up. I got home and talked to my mom, and she said I *should* take the night position (I don't know why really) and I had been thinking about it, so I called them and said I'd be willing to try the night position. He said he'd still look for day hours for me. So I am expecting to hear from him in a few days. Everyone seems so happy there!! It seemed just perfect! Right after I got off the phone with him, I got a call for an interview at the Market. I went, and I was very upfront with the guy about waiting to hear back from that other job. The Market job seems a lot better, in terms of hours, distance and pay (the man from the shop offered me less than minimum wage...I'm assuming that is a mistake on his part as I didn't even know when minimum wage went up). So now I'm supposed to call him on Tuesday and let him know what's going on with this other job prospect. Now I really don't know what to do. I really think it would be better for me to work at the Market, but I don't want to blow my chances on either place until I see what's going on. I'm pulling my hair out here!! But I've got until Tuesday to decide, so I'm going to try to take it easy. I just put up another Wordpress blog for all of my artwork. There isn't much in there yet, but it's here: Earth and Fire.

...OK, a LOT of gloating. Copper is so much fun!!! This is what I did today after turning in two job applications. I did it in two parts, mostly because I had to give some serious thought on how to attach the leaf without it looking silly (I wasn't sure how well it would work with the leaf coming directly off the stem as it is. I'm really glad I did it!) Now I need to acquire more scrap. Amazing what you can do with a few pieces of copper, some MIG/TIG wire (for the stem) and a plumber's torch!!! I'm so FREAKIN' proud of myself right now!

I finally got my butt in gear and wrote that article about Morrigan for the site. It's in for editing/feedback now and it should be published sometime soon I hope. I did that a few days ago. I also made my mom a snake out of Sculpey clay. It's beautiful, and I can't believe I did so well. Neither can she; I had a hard time convincing her I actually made it. Still looking for a job, but I'm enjoying the time off. I went back to the two places where I put in applications; one doesn't have any positions open right now, but that's OK by me because I kind of knew that when I put in the app. I was just hoping... At the other place I was assured that my application had been received, but it was in a big pile on the manager's desk and she hadn't gotten to look at it but would soon. So I reminded her, in person, which is always good. The other day I received some great news!! My friend Mari's son Thomas got his kidney transplant! Poor Mari has been through hell trying to get the transplant for her son, first attempting to be a living donor (but the doctors said she had to lose weight; which she did. Then they said the wouldn't do it because she doesn't have the right insurance, and due to certain family concerns she "wasn't allowed" to take her son to another hospital that would do it.) Then, out of the blue, she got the call that her son got a kidney!! Thank the Gods I'm calling it a miracle! He's doing extremely well; the surgeon said that his kidney "just slid into place and fit like it was meant to be there". It was producing urine before the incision was even closed! Part of my pathwork involves studying a form of divination, so I've been amusing myself by doing Rune readings for people on a pagan forum I frequent; it's a "closed" forum meaning only members can see it so I made a post offering to do the readings for people. I'm not about to try it on one of the larger forums because when you do that, you end up with literally hundreds of requests and that's way too much to handle. I'm almost out of "guinea pigs" from there, so if anyone here is interested let me know!! I'll be glad to do it, but it might be a few days before I get to it. Yesterday I was looking for a Celtic ring with a green stone, and I stumbled upon Lytha Studios. I fell in love with a pentagram pendant and my mom fell in love with a Tree of Life pendant. Well, we both fell in love with a lot of things but those are the two I ordered yesterday. This place could really get me in trouble; I'm already amassing a HUGE mental wish list!

Today, August 14, 2007 I became an Initiate on the Pathway of the Gods. This wasn't supposed to happen until Samhain, or maybe one of the Dark or Full moons surrounding it. My mother Morrigan, however, had other plans. (And you *don't* argue with Her! ) When I told her I was ready, I was expecting to decide then what date would be right. Instead the reply I got was "well what are you waiting for??" The ritual took place near the same spot in the forest where I did my Coming of Age Rite several weeks ago. In my street clothes, doing surprisingly well to remember the Oaths and Rite, because, I did not bother to memorize it yet nor did I have it with me to read. The words came easily to me; my fear of speaking Ritual aloud has vanished. It wasn't quite what I expected, but I should know better than to have expectations where gods are concerned! I feel an odd sense of kinship with everything living around me; my mother Morrigan is no longer next to me; I am a part of Her, and She a part of me. I wouldn't want it any other way. It took me several hours to regain my bearings again. Time did not exist for me anymore; it was as if it simply vanished. I could not think in a linear fashion. (I hear this is normal for initiations...the feeling went away in a few hours but in the mean time I'm glad I didn't have to be anywhere!!) Tonight I am celebrating, in my own quiet way. A glass of the sparkling grape juice usually reserved for ritual, and watching the sun set from my stone circle. Did I mention I built a circle? Oy vey, I'm behind on this thing! I built it last week sometime. I hauled the stones from the creek (which is pretty well dried up, so the stones were easy to access). Through daily use it's becoming quite well sacred. I feel most connected to the Celtic deities there; and more connected to the Roman deities at my altar inside. I built it for Morrigan. It's Her place. On Saturday I did my Dark Moon ritual. It was the first time I've ever done a moon ritual and it was very moving!! I can't wait for the next Dark Moon so that I can do it again!!

This week has been filled with work on my personal path. I've renamed it Pathway of the Gods (on the suggestion of someone on Covenspace.com; I was clear out of ideas) because Walking With the Gods is just...not poetic at all. I've done a lot of work on the actual *path* part of it. Designing and working the bugs out of curricula, deciding on appropriate coursework, and actually *doing* the coursework myself. On top of that, I've written the Dedication and Initiation (both forming a two-part Initiation Rite that I am planning to do myself on Samhain.) This was a challenge because, it had to be significant not only to myself, but to any seekers that might come my way (I'm not taking on any students until I've done all of the coursework myself, though, and maybe more). I wanted the ritual to be as "standard" as possible while still allowing for personal elements to be added in that would make it meaningful to everyone. On top of all of this, I've been slowly separating the actual Pathwork from the things I've written in my blog so far. Basically this involves keeping separate in my head "Pathwork and Coursework" from "essays written by someone on the path". I haven't removed anything from my blog yet; there are a few things I'm thinking of adapting to pathwork but I don't think I'll actually remove anything that's already there. I've been getting a lot of help on all of this from Mari, who is an elder priestess of the Gwyddonic Order and the founder of the College of the Blue Butterfly. I've actually been giving a lot of thought to joining the Gwyddonic Order myself as their beliefs very closely match mine (to the point that it's downright scary.) I've decided that I really need to get my Pathwork done before I consider doing work on any other path; it may well be that I *never* end up becoming a Gwiddon; or it may be that in a few years, I've devoted myself entirely to that path. Only time will tell. I went shopping today and before I went, I asked that I might find a robe suitable for ritual use. I should have been more specific; I had envisioned a dark blue, or purple, or green or even black robe, plain, and open up the front (to be tied). Or at least a solid dark color. What I *got* was a handmade and used (so slightly stained), WHITE robe with embroidered pink and purple flowers!! It's nothing like what I wanted, but it's perfect. Damnit, the Gods have a sense of humor! Could this be payback for my crack about the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Love Bug? (long story, don't ask LOL) On a more mundane note, I'm still jobless. Turns out Dave really DID only want a subcontractor. No fault of mine, just a misunderstanding. I can't do that job obviously, unless I have a shop to work in, which I don't. I did get ahold of William Poust, who is a blacksmith in the area. He doesn't have anything for me either, but he seemed really cool, and he said he'd keep and eye and an ear out for me. If I don't get any leads this week, I'm going to start looking into different jobs, saving up money and trying hard to get a shop set up. This is not going as planned! I only hope that I don't forget everything by the time I have a chance to start working again!! Either way, I am NOT going to work at one of the busier locations in town. I really do enjoy working with people; but only in small doses. I can't handle another experience like this past winter.

I don't know how it happened, but when I was going to screw around with Snapfire, I found a copy of Corel Paint Shop Pro on my computer!! I don't know where it came from; the only thing I can think of is that it came loaded on the computer (it did come with a lot of photo software). It's better than anything I've ever used (so I doubly hope it's not just a trial version that will go away). I am so psyched!! As of this moment, I'm back into digital art. Now it's going to be REALLY hard for me to break my techno habit.

Well I talked to the guy who would have been my boss today. He said that he really was only looking for a subcontractor (and that I really hadn't made an issue by calling too much; I and my friend had both blown it out of proportion). I'm unable to be a subcontractor until I have a shop to work in, but I said I'd give him a call as soon as I had a place to work. He asked for my number as well which shows me he definitely is interested. He also filled me in on the name of the guy in Beaver Lake. I had been looking for him. So I went to yellowpages.com and searched for the guy in Beaver Lake...I found two that seemed likely and the first one I called was it. I left a message, I hope he calls me back. Wouldn't it be awesome if he could use another set of hands in the shop?!