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A History Of The World


Sextus Roscius

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Well, I saw the section on the Roman Empire, its rather hysterical.

 

Centurion "Well, does anyone know the punishment for attacking a Roman citizen"

 

Crowed raises hands

 

Centurion "yes you, you had your hand up first"

 

Citizen "Oh, I know, we chuck um off a rock"

 

Centurion "No, we did that last time, you, do you know the punishment?"

 

Citizen #2 "We shove a snake up their rear"

 

Centurion "No, but thats creative, yes you over there!"

 

Citizen #3 "we feed um to the lions"

 

Centurion "yes thats right! to the lions"

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Roman Officer: Do you know the penalty for a slave that strikes a Roman citizen?

[people in the crowd raise hands enthusiastically]

Roman Officer: Ok, you. You had your hand up first.

Man in crowd: Death by torture!

Roman Officer: No. You.

Man in crowd: Crucifiction!

Roman Officer: No. You.

Man in crowd: They shove a living snake up your ass!

Roman Officer: Ah, no... but that's very creative.

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