Nephele Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 We've all seen dreadful "historical" movies. Do you have a favorite, unintentionally hilarious line from just such a movie? Here's one of mine: My hips are round and well apart. Such women, they say, have sons. Elizabeth Taylor, Cleopatra (1963), in a breathy seduction scene with Rex Harrison as Caesar. -- Nephele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DecimusCaesar Posted May 23, 2009 Report Share Posted May 23, 2009 (edited) Cleopatra does have some unintentionally funny lines. Although it's not so much a line, I did laugh at Richard Burton's angry rant, when he screamed "Caesar! Caesar! Caesar!" in quick succsession. As for bad lines in historical movies, the obvious and predictable choice is Dick Powell's 1956 film The Conqueror, starring John Wayne as Genghis Khan (I personally haven't seen it, but it seems to be legendary for its bad script): Genghis: "I feel this Tartar woman is for me, and my blood says, take her. There are moments for wisdom and moments when I listen to my blood; my blood says, take this Tartar woman." An exchange between Genghis and his would be wife (Susan Hayward): Bortai: For me, there is no peace while you live, Mongol. Genghis: You're beautiful in your wrath. Genghis is surrounded by his enemies: Genghis: Come and take me, mongrels - if you dare. While I have fingers to grasp a sword, and eyes to see your cowardly faces, your treacherous heads will not be safe on your shoulders. For I am Temujin, the Conqueror. No prison can hold me, no army defeat me. Here's a scen from the film: Dance, Tartar Woman Edited May 23, 2009 by DecimusCaesar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Formosus Viriustus Posted May 24, 2009 Report Share Posted May 24, 2009 (edited) We've all seen dreadful "historical" movies. Do you have a favorite, unintentionally hilarious line from just such a movie? Here's one of mine: My hips are round and well apart. Such women, they say, have sons. Elizabeth Taylor, Cleopatra (1963), in a breathy seduction scene with Rex Harrison as Caesar. -- Nephele Well, Nephele, if you do have to quote, please be complete. Here's how I found it on the http://www.imdb.com/ site : [seducing Caesar] Cleopatra: My breasts are full of love and life. My hips are round and well apart. Such women, they say, have sons. There are quite a few other funny ones there. Such as : Julius Caesar: [speaking of the Grand Eunuch] ... a position not acquired without some, shall we say, sacrifices? (Always good for a laugh, those 'guys', aren't they ?) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0056937/quotes Or just pick any historical movie you like and look for the quotes and goofs. Hours of fun. A few of my 'favourites' (Not !) 'El Cid' (1961, by Anthony Mann) Jimena: Why did you come? El Cid: I tried not to come. I tried, I told my love it had no right to live. But my love won't die... Jimena: Kill it. El Cid: You kill it! Tell me you don't love me. Jimena: [long pause] I cannot. Not yet. But I will make myself worthy of you Rodrigo, I will learn to hate you. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054847/quotes And of course : 'The Seventh Seal' (1957, by Ingmar Bergman) The whole movie is one funny quote really. Here's one : Jens: Do you have any brandy? I've had nothing but water. It's made me as thirsty as a camel in the desert. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0050976/quotes F rmosus Edited May 24, 2009 by Formosus Viriustus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northern Neil Posted May 24, 2009 Report Share Posted May 24, 2009 Lee Majors, from the awful film 'The Norsemen': 'The name of Olaf will live forever in the land of the Norzmen' [sic] Yes, Lee, Olaf is a common name in Norway, Denmark and Zweden. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanista Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 On arriving at the White Cliffs of Dover "My father's castle is in Nottingham. We should be there by nightfall." Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klingan Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Lee Majors, from the awful film 'The Norsemen': 'The name of Olaf will live forever in the land of the Norzmen' [sic] Yes, Lee, Olaf is a common name in Norway, Denmark and Zweden. Zweden, yez that iz where I come from! Great quote! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northern Neil Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Lee Majors, from the awful film 'The Norsemen': 'The name of Olaf will live forever in the land of the Norzmen' [sic] Yes, Lee, Olaf is a common name in Norway, Denmark and Zweden. Zweden, yez that iz where I come from! Great quote! haha! Have you seen that film? AWFUL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Formosus Viriustus Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Lee Majors, from the awful film 'The Norsemen': 'The name of Olaf will live forever in the land of the Norzmen' [sic] Yes, Lee, Olaf is a common name in Norway, Denmark and Zweden. Zweden, yez that iz where I come from! Great quote! Zweden. That iz actually the way we write it in Dutch ! Formozuz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northern Neil Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Ik ken! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Formosus Viriustus Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Ik ken! Ha, ha Neil, you're doing very well. 'Ik ken jou !' But in this case it should be : 'Weet ik !' or 'Dat weet ik !' Formosus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingsoc Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Lee Majors, from the awful film 'The Norsemen': 'The name of Olaf will live forever in the land of the Norzmen' [sic] Yes, Lee, Olaf is a common name in Norway, Denmark and Zweden. Zweden, yez that iz where I come from! Great quote! But does your name is Olaf? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Formosus Viriustus Posted July 1, 2009 Report Share Posted July 1, 2009 (edited) Coming soon : Edited July 1, 2009 by Formosus Viriustus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maximus Decimus Meridius Posted August 3, 2009 Report Share Posted August 3, 2009 Well, we all know a fantastic line from cinema, My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DecimusCaesar Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Attila (2001) has an atrocious script too. Why do historical films tend to have such bad lines - much more than its main competitors Romance and Sci-Fi? Do scriptwriters think that by having people spout lines in an "artsy-fartsy" manner it will make their script seem more historically authentic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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