As I write this I'm listening to the guy sat in the next cubicle as he tries manfully to arouse interest in a young woman of his acquaintance. He keeps insisting he needs to buy a hammer in order to bang some curtains in. Whatever that means. He insists that intelligent people should use double beds to sleep in. By now you're probably getting the idea of what he wants.
His girlfriend asks why he needs a hammer anyway, because he can't afford one. Apparently he can, the 99p shop does them. No
Our recent spell of sunny weather seems to be coming to an end. Showery old Swindon is a little damper today, here and there, usually when I step outside the house. I have to say that today has not been a special day in any sense whatsoever. For the pidgeons on the balcony outside the library, I guess it must seem a bit different. I've just watched two of them having sex in plain view from my vantage point at the computer.
The victorians used to believe that mankind was the crowning glory of
Today was another session at the Work Experience Programme, in which we are supposed to fit a jobsearch in between the various group activities. I always find this very frustrating because what I'd like to do is turn up and get on with it, without all these infant school distractions.
Todays distraction was about presentations, and our group (composed of the noisier elements of the class, myself included) were given a brief to assemble a presentation on facilities and assistance for drug and
Its the Chinese New Year, and since they haven't been inflicted deeply by the economic downturn, today they've been celebrating. It also happens to be Year of the Ox which is good news for me, because in Chinese astrology that's me - I'm an Ox. There you go, I've admitted it.
Get Away From It All
Australia are advertising for a guy to run Hamilton Island, a tropical paradise, in a deal involving free flights, feeding turtles, collecting mail, scuba swimming, running a Hamilton Island blog,
Yesterday I wandered into a music store and as usual fingered through the various artists that I particularly like. One CD stood out, with stickers telling me it was the 'new album'. Okeedokee, one purchase made. When I looked closer at home I realised it wasn't the artist the CD had been filed under, but some band I'd never heard of. Doh!
I suppose I could of taken it back but curiosity got the better of me. And I'm pleased it did.
The album was Indestructible, the band called Disturbed
It all seems doom and gloom right now doesn't it? Gaza is being demolished, Russia is sulking over gas supply, high street stores are closing, businesses laying off workers, predictions of three million unemployed by next year. Even my blog is draped in despair these days. Well, I won't have it. So, in order to lighten the mood, for the first time in blog history I will now... *click* ... Huh?.... Who turned out the lights? Oh no, my PC is dying. All I've got left is a small blue dot on my monit
What should a man believe in? A soldier would say you should believe in yourself. A politician would say believe in his vision. A christian would say believe in Jesus. It seems then that there is a choice of what you can believe, and inevitably, there's always persuasion or pressure to conform to someone elses ideals. In some situations, conformity is understandable. A soldier does what he's ordered to do because life gets very uncomfortable if he doesn't. You generally do what politicians want
This is ridiculous. Now that I have to sign on the dole every single working day, my usual routine is upset. I don't know if you've noticed but my blog has mutated into a television critic webpage, and I'm gaining weight because I'm just not active any more. Seriously, I have this notion of turning up to my signing slot tomorrow with my pack and hiking gear.
I can just imagine a caustic "Going somewhere Caldrail?"
Oh hi Mr Claims Advisor, yeah, I'm off hiking when we're done here, why n
When I was very young I used to come across the vast seies of books published by Ladybird. Little handooks, lavishly illustrated with paintings, covering just about every subject you possibly teach a child. One has stuck in the mind for some strange reason. That scene where a dishevelled beggar by the name of Marco Polo claimed he had just returned from the orient to jeers and laughter, then bringing a stunned silence to the crowd as he ripped open his clothes and revealed the treasure in gemsto
Survival is so macho. Tell someone you've survived the wilderness and instantly your manliness score doubles. Women become breathless near you. Men become your greatest buddy and hang on your every word. At least I believe they do because the only wilderness I've survived is Swindon, and unfortunately I'm reliably informed that Swindon doesn't do much for your manliness.
The good news is that I survived Christmas. Survival is one of those dark arts you see featured on tv sometimes, with Ray
Last night, during the small hours, I went to the back of the house to answer natures call. Whilst there, I became aware of a loud conversation between a group of lads out the back. The car park is sometimes used by passers-by so I didn't think too much of it... until I realised they weren't walking past.
Open the window... Just a tad...
They were standing beside the corpse of my Eunos Cabriolet discussing events leading up to its abandonment. Not just the car either. Informed opinion wa
My boiler still isn't fixed. Okay, I know it's the end of february and the onset of spring promises warmer times, but right now Britain is under the sway of a damp chill. Maybe I'm getting used to cold temperatures? I have no choice. The Job Centre want me to come in this morning for more of their statutory rehabilitation sessions.
On the way I wanderd through the local park. The stonework around the edge of the lake has been well and truly fixed, restored, and now the lake looks full again.
It happens today. it's inescapable. And it will cause suffering and hardship.
That's the message I've been seeing and hearing in our media. It's a womnder there's no-one wandering back and forth the local high street with a placard saying "The end is nigh". I am of course referring to the imminent assault upon british shores of another arctic blast.
It's now late morning and if I were honest, there's little sign of our impending doom. The sky is sombre with dark grey clouds under a ligh
The misery goes on. In very un-swindon-like style, the snow started again last night and as I glance out the window of the library, it's just begun cascading down in thick torrents. Our local council now has only two days of grit reserves left to clear our roads and keep Swindon moving.
I'm biting my nails.
Weather Update of the Week
Oh. Its just reverted to that thin sprinkle of fine drizzly snow. Panic over. Phew.
What a miserable, rotten, rainy day. Sorry to go on a downer, but it just couldn't be any greyer. A fine drizzle driven by blustery winds is definitely dampening my spirit. But Yahoo has the answer. Twelve tips to brighten your otherwise dreary day. Okay. Let's have a look.
1. Resist the urge to
Africa - Land of the future's gold
Land is for everybody young and old
The place that holds a single bright future
But what happens when the future turns to torture?
Ma' Africa
What went wrong with your brains?
You kill each other into strife and no human dignity
Africa - Lets stand together
And make Africa the Land of Hope
Ma' Africa From the album 1 Giant Leap (2001)
Africa is such a place of contrast. Great natural wealth and beauty, a place where children play joyfully in the
I woke this morning earlier than I wanted - another job interview today. As usual, the bedroom is mildly cold but probably warmer than the front room! Anyhow, I threw back the duvet, shudderred in the loss of warm air, and tip toed to the curtains for a look outside. Snow!
It snowed last night. Not a huge blizzard by any means, more of a thin coat of that fine wet snow that quickly clogs and becomes frighteningly icy. We don't usually get any snow in January. These days, we tend to get a lig
The sun had got his hat on, hip hip hip hooray. It isn't that everythings going my way (I wish) but rather that Spring is making an appearance. The weather has that cool post-winter sunshine thats such a breath of fresh air in Britain. It affects the mood. You wake up, spot the brightness through the curtains, and just know its going to be a good day.
Even a black cat senses the mood. Walking down to my parents place for a sunday dinner it strolled across the road unconcerned about the black
You know it's a funny thing. Women always say that middle aged men are weighed down with emotional baggage and you know what? We are.
The reason is partly biological. Us blokes go off the boil a little and get steadily lukewarm as we realise out fragile bodies aren't coping with the demands we desperately want them to. Instead, we have to claim we're getting steadily cooler but you just know you're not convincing anyone. It's getting harder to keep hold of the harem. The aggressive young ma
Television isn't entirely new. It was after all around before I was born, but the technology has improved over the years and in a way I've grown up with it. I remember the day we got our first ever colour television. We take that for granted now, but back then it was a revelation in entertainment.
Things were never simple though. Poor reception was a fact of life and usually cured by sending someone out to fiddle with the aerial. These days we have cable television and digital broadcasts, so
British weather struck with a veangeance yesterday. Not quite the heaviest downpour I've ever suffered, but it kept on raining heavily all day. I have an army issue rucksack - officially declared waterproof -which had a small puddle at the bottom of it. My mobile phone got trashed by water damage again. Why can't manufacturers make a mobile phone that doesn't disintergrate in mildly moist conditions? Worse still, having already been out in the rain and well soaked, I found a message left by the
In one of the science magazines lately they devoted an issue to Time. What is it? How much does it cost? What could you do with it if you could afford it? It's a remarkable thing that we experience one moment after another but that causes us to assume we know what time is. So helpless are scientists to explain exactly what Time is that instead of turning to Professor Cox, they're asking philosophers to explain it. Proof therefore that Time is an illusion.
Unfortunately for everyone knowing t
Another day, another shopping trip. Once agai I trudge down to my local supermarket in a fruitless quest for bargains and cheap two for one deals. Yesterday the weather wasn't bad. Not like today with blustery rainfall, so I guess I chose the right day to go shopping.
Let's see... What can I buy?.... Most of the goods are the upmarket brands for people who follow the teachings of the prophet Jamie Oliver. Can't afford those. I don't care how many television adverts he makes. Five pounds does
War seems to loomed large on the television screens of late. Not just the tragic deaths of six british servicemen in Afghanistan, or the equally tragic killing spree of an american NCO, or even the revelations of terrible things that happened in the Libyan Revolt or are happening now in the Syrian troubles. It was also wars of times past.
The usual war films are playing regularly in the afternoons. Brave british chaps stiffening their upper lips in the north african desert, or americans free
Funny things motorbikes. When you're young they seem so iconic. When you old they seem so symbolic. When they blast up the street they seem so noisy.
When I was very young I used to see Evel Knievel featured on the news, preparing once again to crash his bike spectacularly in front of thousands. He wasn't the first to do motorcycle stunts by any means, the 'Wall of Death' sometimes featured in circuses and so on, but Mr Knievel had a talent for publicity. It seems though he had little talent
