Browsing through the local paper this morning I came across an interview with Master Shortie, Swindons very own rap star.
Who? Never heard of him. I suspect no-one older than eighteen has either. The interview was of course unintentionally hilarious. I'm sure his music career is taking off and I wish him well, but since he made such an effort to say exactly lthe same things every other rap artist in the business does, you could hardly claim he was being original.
He also proclaimed that
Monday morning... Usually the Monday Blues are associated with dragging yourself out of bed to go to work, but since I'm unemployed, you'd think that wouldn't apply to me. Oh but it does. For today is my Signing On Day, my fortnightly ritual aimed at convincing the authorities that I've something toward getting a job thus entitling me to receive my meagre handout from the government. Typically for a Monday the good weather has vanished with the weekend. It's damp and grey out there. What a miser
Without doubt this is a miserable day. A fine mist of dampness hangs over Swindon, enveloping our grey town with... Well... Even more greyness. Only wetter. The feeling has reached my neighbour, who slammed the doors this morning in another sulk at having his dreams of all day and night parties crushed by the need to live alongside other people. Must be nine o'clock then.
As I strode determinedly through the rain to reach the library at the bottom of the hill, I reminisced about how this was
I woke up this morning to bright sunshine yet again. How much longer can this go on for? We brits aren't used to good weather. Extended bouts of sunny days makes us go all loopy, doing daft things like jumping off bridges into dangerous rivers, slowly roasting ourselves where-ever we find a spot to lie down, and discovering how far you can stretch fashion before foreigners are visibly nauseous. I have an uncontrollable urge to buy bottles of cheap cider and watch the world go by. Hang on... What
You would never know it was August. It's as dull and chilly as late Autumn. Not only that, with our recent strong winds, some trees are convinced that Summer is over and are shedding brown leaves everywhere. You feel like shouting "No! Stop it!" but you just know the trees aren't going to listen to some gesticulating and noisy ape descendant.
'C' That?
Remember the Sinclair C5? Those of you who can't, it was a sort of sports model mobility buggy. available in any colour as long as it's whit
The prospect of Work Experience Day is something I've come to dread. Every week we file into the classroom and spend the day wallowing in retro-infant school nostalgia. Needless to say, I was expecting another lesson better suited to four year olds.
To my pleasant suprise our advisor, TB, brought out a pile of Mecanno sets and tried to give us a lesson about following instructions. As if I listened. I was too busy enjoying the delights of pseudo-car manufacture from kit parts.
The only
Monday mornings always have one thing in common. You know exactly what is going to happen. The alarm goes off, you get out of bed, get washed, fed, watered, and straight to work like some sort of condemned zombie. But not this monday. Today has an air of uncertainty brought about by the forthcoming end of our work placement. This is officially my last week at the department store. That means a return to unemployed status and all the red tape and bureaucracy that goes with it.
KS has already
There was a general lack of managers at work today. Under normal circumstances that would be a recipe for noise and mucking-about, but with my dole payments in doubt I had other things on my mind. I even had to go to the Job Centre this afternoon to force them to arrange my 'Back To Dole Seeking' interview. Talk about DIY.
Meanwhile, back at the stockroom, the quiet atmosphere was making it possible for others to attempt a spot of entertainment. Somewhat carelessly an asian lady started sing
There's been a trend in recent years toward 're-enactment' documentaries. It isn't enough to simply tell us what went on, and show us maps, film clips, music, sounds, and the odd talking head, but now you have to get people doing these things to see what it's like. My own feeling is that you're going to fail, because the only people who know what it's like are the ones who went through the experience for the cameras, and then we only see the edited highlights.
There was one where a bunch of
What is it with economy cars? Why do the people responsible for these automotive blasphemies believe that we, the buying public, want some god-awful buggy that resembles a childs toy? I write this because Riversimple are unveiling a hydrogen powered car in Britain. Like the all-electirc Gee-Whiz, it's an exremely compact two seater rather like a distorted Smart Car. Back in America, or California at least, they have hydrogen powered cars on sale already. Theirs are similar to everyday petrol car
Once more unto the Job Centre, dear friends, once more...
Apart from my regular signing days I sometimes get called in to attend a more serious interview. I think that's just in case I've charmed the pants off my advisor and get away with all manner of shenanigans. As if. Most of the time I feel one step away from a cancellation of payments and believe me, the Job Centre's do that on purpose. Maybe it's right that they should in that claimants shouldn't get too attached to claiming the dole
Dreams are funny things aren't they? They say your mind works things out at it's leisure during your slumber. Last nights big feature dream in widescreen imagery was me and someone else robbing a till from a shop. I can't remember the details of how this all started, but we went in, my colleague threatened the shopkeeper (I think he had a gun or something) while I stood there gormless until I realised I was supposed to take things from the till.
Anyway, having committed this virtual and dast
A few nights ago, I was astonished at how cold it felt. The night sky was devoid of cloud and the chill very evident. Since then, the high pressure over England has brought hot sunshine with it, just as the weather people predicted. As I write, the open window next to me is letting in a cool draught. Given how hot the sun is this morning, it really does illustrate how powerful sunshine can be.
I should actually know this anyway. As a young teenager I went on a school skiing holiday to Austri
From time to time we all need a little help. Yesterday it was a young man asking if anyone knew how to get to the town centre. Even at a good pace, he looking forward to a hours walk and the route wasn't entirely obvious. So in a moment of generosity I suggested he came with me - I was going that way anyhow.
We got chatting. He was a talkative type and the conversation was fast and furious, not just for intensity of communication, but also the subject matter. We got chatting about cars. As i
I was in a grim state last night. My temperature was rising, my visits to the toilet increasingly frantic and frequent, and I felt dreadful. Why is it that medicine never tastes nice? Grin and bear it, Caldrail, you'll feel better in the morning. And so I was. The cold damp morning didn't put me off at all. After the heavy showers of yesterday, the big screen television bolted to the side of the multi-story car park insisted today was going to bring drizzle. I think they might have a different d
Most of us do dumb things at times. I used to hear work colleagues confidently claim that they never made mistakes, but they did, one being an attempt to convince the management that they were superior workers. That sort of mistake is due to poor decision making and to some extent, a deliberate risk.
The rest of us, sooner or later, foul up. Yesterday I did that magnificently. You see, when I get sent on these courses on how to search for jobs, I'm also obliged to attend a follow up intervie
The wind is blowing. The rain is falling. What a horrible morning!
Solo Music
A couple of nights ago the BBC had a bit of a Robert Plant fest. Concentrating mostly on his solo career after Led Zeppelin, it was a curious tale of musical experiment including a hilarious commercial phase in the eighties. I've had some respect for his efforts in the past - Slow Dancer from the album Pictures At Eleven has always been a personal favourite among many - but I wasn't aware of the variety of music h
That's it. I've had enough. After a few years of not writing any computer programs at all, I've discovered how much I've forgotten. There's a command phrase I need and I can't remember what it is. It's a strange irony that help files are no help whasoever when you don't know what you're looking for.
After spending a fruitless hour in a quest for digital enlightenment, I decide that I've had enough. Switch the darn thing off and get something to eat before I starve. So I stomp despondently in
Morning has broken. I can sort of tell that from the light coming through the curtains. Even better, the colour of the light varies according to the weather, so I know what sort of day it is before I summon the will to get out of bed. A grey sombre look for rainy days, a dull rosey glow in snow, and a brighter glow in the sunshine reflected off the abandoned college building. Boy are my natural rythmns going to be upset when they pull that one down.
So now it's time for my daily stroll down
My parcel from the States should be due any day now. I'll be glad when it gets here, so I can restore my PC to it's former glory. The hassle of course is making yourself available to sign for the delivery when it finally arrives. Past experience has shown that parcels mysteriously vanish from the doorstep, and on occaision, a naughty delivery driver took the parcel away and signed my name for it. In the meantime, what has the postman brought me today? Lets see... One letter. From the delivery pe
I've written in the past of my doubts concerning astrology. Sure, there is something comforting about these hints of the fate awaiting us around the corner, it's just that those people writing the hints are peddling security blankets. Funny thing is though, and most likely by sheer coincidence, there are times when a commercial prediction comes spookily close to events in your life. Take yesterdays local newspaper for instance. Apparently the planet Venus is returning to my star sign about now a
Welcome back to Caldrail FM, and for those just tuning in, it's a special hello to J, my stockroom supervisor, who's just discovered this blog and is probably sneaking into the office to read it as I write.
Hi Mr J. Love the nunchucks.
Meeting People
leaving work just now I bumped into Sophie again. She's a lovely blonde lady who does all this charity work, where she lulls you into a false sense of security then gets you to sign away all your money for gay eco-deaf children or whatever
Miss L isn't speaking to me today. The enormity of the situation is soul-crushing. How can I go through life without Miss L's insightful commentary? I have become a lesser human being, relegated to the bottom league of social undesirables on slave wages. Plus I get attacked occcaisionally by rubber bands and rubbish thrown over the racks. Battered and bruised.
In order to restore my happiness, and indeed, my general sanity, the department store issued me with a high-vis jacket. For health a
Yesterday I was slightly greener than the day before. Nothing to do with imminent nausea, or envy at the Maserati that drives down the hill every morning, but compliance with the detailed instructions our eco-friendly ex-government foisted on us. Now that I can't simply leave unwanted bottles for the dustmen to collect, I must dispose of them responsibly myself.
My old kitbag was bulging with unwanted glass, making dull chinking noises as I walked down the hill toward the car park where I k
Yesterday I saw a man with wings. Now that might inspire all sorts of derisive comments but this wasn't an angel sighting (my mother will so disappointed), but a gentleman heading toward the local model store with the wings from a radio control P51 Mustang. A big one too. Six feet across although if any criticism were deserved, U.S. P51's in D-Day colours were never painted an overall sky blue. I also suspect, due to the lack of all the other bits like engine, fuselage, cockpit, etc, that we're
