Feeling The Pinch
Entry posted by caldrail
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What makes me happy? Various things. I used to enjoy driving fast cars and flying aeroplanes, but sadly life in the fast lane is no longer available to me. A good game on the PC? It helps if your computer works of course. I got mine back from the repairers yesterday evening after a heated phone call only to discover that they hadn't connected the sound.
What about sex? That's a luxury increasingly scarce in my middle age and a news item tells us that couples shouldn't sleep together because it's bad for their health. Fairly terminal for their offspring I imagine, though there is of course artificial insemination, which kind of proves how dull our Brave New World is going to be.
There is another news item I spotted just now that suggests taller people are happier. Sadly, biology prevents me from getting any taller so that isn't an option. I shall content myself with a wander into the wilds of Darkest Wiltshire, enjoying the English countryside with it's verdant splendour.... That is, at least, until my legs get tired and my feet get blistered again.
Pension Statement of the Week
A long time ago I left work to go on the road with a rock band. It seemed a wise idea to set myself up as a business and open a pension account. The government of the day were very keen for people to do that, what with the increasing cost of social provision. It turns out my investment hasn't been too impressive. At todays prices, my pension income will be less than the benefits I claim as a jobseeker. All those thousands of pounds that accumulated in there really aren't going to pay off too well. Not only that, but the company pension I contributed to for fifteen years might well be declared defunct before long leaving me with little else.
Buddy, have ya got a dime? Some years ago you occaisionally saw some hairy old guy in disvelled rags begging for spare change, at least before a policeman moved him on. Now there are certain places where you expect youths in hoodies capitalising on this source of income, and yesterday, a teenage girl clearly able to afford decent clothes sat in the alleyway between a car park and shopping arcade (now a popular and established haunt of beggars) asking passers-by for extra coins.
Sorry, but you only have a few years left. I'm beginning to think that space is reserved for me.
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