Hunger knows no bounds. With the cash I had left I couldn't resist steak & cheese burrito on my way home. Yes, I know, my finances are now forever ruined, but the delights of takeaway food were too much to ignore. So I ordered my early evening meal and waited for the chap behind the counter to stop mashing the ingredients.

To my left the approach of a pair of lads was becoming obvious. Sometimes you just know a stranger is about to accost you, and the burlier of the two ambled slowly toward me on a parabolic curve having decided to approach me with caution.

"Excuse me, mate, is this the way to the bus station?" He asked in politer terms than I expected. Sorry, but no, it's over there, back the way you've just come.

"Oh." He said as he digested the bad news before turning to the takeaway chef and repeating the question. He got the same answer. Satisfied we weren't pulling his leg, he yelled at his friend "Told you! I told you it was that way. The bus station is that way!"

His skeletal friend in a woolly hat shrugged and said "Yeah, I know, but I want to go this way, through town."

"We're not going that way" The burly lad insisted. "The bus station is that way."

And so the two weary travellers turned back the way they'd come and on toward the fabled bus station, Some distance down the street the burly lad asked someone else where the bus station was. For some reason the pair changed direction again and were walking back. By good fortune the burrito was ready and I made my escape.

Completely Armless

I have entered a strange space time anomaly in which I slowly metamorphose into Charlie Chaplin. My jacket has started disassembling itself. Ever the optimist, I thought I might try sewing the sleeve back on. It wasn't entirely seperated and thus it seemed possible to complete this repair job without too much fuss. Sadly my sewing skills were not up to the job. Possibly you guessed that might have been the case.

So I'm left with a choice of freezing to death or going bankrupt. Which is more survivable? Oh stuff it. I'll buy that jacket, over there. Hmmmmm... Warmth.....

More On That Wedding

That wedding is still in the news. Now the Prime Minister is suggesting an extra bank holiday to mark the occaision. I agree. That would be great. Now all I need is a job so I can have the day off.

What a master stroke. Please the public and motivate the unemployed in one stroke. There. Who says I'm always nasty to politicians. Also, since I've now confirmed myself as a government sympathiser (against my better judgement), can I have my title officially recognised? The last lot did that all the time.

More On That Boyle

Much to everyone's suprise, including mine, that Boyle woman has achieved more sales on her second album than expected. So much so that she's come third to the Beatles and The Monkee's for transatlantic success.

Thing is though, for all her talent at singing, she doesn't compose. She doesn't sing her own material. In my book that will always make her second best, however good the sales team are at promoting her recordings.