The horoscope roundtable yielded some interesting results. While the first 3 that I read this morning hardly elicited a chuckle from me, this one from Minerva (of all the names! really!) for the week to come by far was the best:
With a well-placed assist from Jupiter, rebellious Mars makes like Big Daddy in your hormone house. You feel passionate and long to party -- big time. Here's the rub: New and exciting prospects threaten to trigger monetary issues. Activity fulminates around what's yours, mine and ours.
Well, Minerva, and I doubt that's your real name...how is that different than any other week? I often have 'monetary issues'...it's called being broke. The last time I wasn't was....well, um, a long time ago. And for the record, I'm always feeling passionate, especially when I haven't, well, you know, in a while. Actually, I take that back...I'm just passionate, all the time, not to mention always ready for social interaction...why am I going to be any different this coming week? I can't wait to see how this one will end up.
Hopefully the real Minerva will drop some wisdom on your arse...or whatever she sees fit. Taking the name of such a goddess, puh-lease....
For once I'd like a horoscope to really get it right: "Hey, DoL, not much is going to change this day/week from the previous. The sun will still shine, albeit with a bit of coastal fogginess in the morning. Your cat is going to give you attention, but will be a bit whiny in asking for more. You might get a message from a dude who's somewhat interested in you, but then again you might not. You have a ton of work to do, both domestic and academic, but you'll enjoy it; after all, they're projects that you created or signed on for. Oh, hey, it's Sunday in September, so you'll watch both football and baseball. By the way, don't pick the tomatoes yet; you just sprayed them with malathion on Friday, so they can't be picked until Wednesday. That'll teach the bleeping white flies...."
Hmmmm...wouldn't that be refreshing?