Who amongst you had a dull monday? A fair few of you I'll bet, but I'm afraid my monday was probably duller than yours. It was one of those days when the whole town just seemed to say "I can't be bothered".

I did see an interesting bit of aerial combat between a crow and a gull at the park. The crow was faster and kept on catching up, but that agile gull certainly had the edge on manoeverability. Here we have a perfect opportunity to witness evolution as it happens. Only the fittest will survive and grow machine guns in the wings.

A chap wandered along the front of the lake throwing breadcrumbs for the crowd of waterfowl following his progress. His dog was bored by this and decided to chase the birds away, just for fun you understand. He did look pleased with himself, walking back to his master with a raised wagging tail. The owner was oblivious and continued to throw breadcrumbs anyway.

No Dull Life For Him

Somewhere out there is DW, our intrepid online journalist. I know he's out there somewhere because I receive an email alert every time he does something on facebook, which happens roughly every ten minutes. That's almost exactly what a young chap needs to eat, drink, sleep, and find a girlfriend. He showed me the pictures of her. Nice girl, and really nice of her to let him out for the evening before he collapses of exhaustion. There's only so many times you can type an update on facebook before you get tired.

No Dull Life For Me

Now what's this? An email from an arab sheik? I guess these things happen when you assume nobility. Let's see what he wants... Two russian transport aircraft urgently required. Immediate cash payment. What the...?

Every so often things like this happen. My life has become surreal to the point that I'm almost living in my own Hollywood thriller, except when I sign on and pretty much for the rest of the fortnight. Where on earth does a benefits claimant lay his hand on two russian transports and flight crew? As initiative tests go this is a corker. I know. I'll phone my mate Dave.

Ring Ring... Ring Ring...

"Hallo."

Hi Dave, it's me.

"Who?"

Me. Listen up, how's work treating you?

"Uhh... You know, sort of okay, sort of. My van needs a new exhaust but the miissus wants me to take her an' the kids on holiday. Thinkin' of Cyprus... Lanzarote...."

Yeah that's great. Listen, can you lay your hands on two Antonov transport aircraft by Sunday?

"Eh? No, mate, we're going by Easyjet."