Swindon is suspiciously white this morning. Even winter-safe wiltshire has finally succumbed to snow. It started last night and quickly reduced wiltshire to the usual scene of british ineptitude of dealing with slippery conditions. I watched a van attempting to ascend the steep side street behind my home. Even with a guy shovelling ice from under the wheels they made painfully slow progress toward the company yard.

For me it means another struggle with my sense of balance as the partially cleared snow has become a pavement pockmarked with little icy craters. Place your bets, ladiesa and gentlemen, place your bets...

There's severe weather warnings across Britain. Guess what guys? We know.