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England Expects

caldrail

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...Once more unto the rain, dear friends, once more...

... Those who were not here shall hold their dryness cheap...

From William Shakespeare's play Henry The Absolutely Soaking Wet Fifth

 

Britain has a problem. As much as we like to discuss our weather, we seem to have rather a lot of it right now. So much so that hordes of BBC journalist more used to comnfortable studio newsdesks are now presenting news and views live from those areas of Britain unfortunate enough to be anywhere near a large river. I can't help thinking the BBC are trying their best to convince that our license fee is value for money or that the flooding in the Somerset Levels is something we haven't already heard about.

 

Okay, Britain is a bit under the weather right now, but come on BBC! Cameron has already said there's no limit to the amount of money he will spend drying Britain out, even if his cabinet deny blank cheques are available or that unemployed people like me are going to have to fund relief efforts on the Somerset Levels sooner or later.

 

Sky News is more concerned with impending Scottish independence and the revelation they can't keep the English chequebook, plus a controversy at the Sochi Winter Olympics. Russia Today talks about riots in Venezuela, Ithe release of Iraqi prisoners agaijst American advice, and of course the stream of Russian victories at Sochi. But Al Jazeerah walks away with the prize for reporting Korean squabbling, Turkish squabbles, squabbles in Kenya, attempted coups in Libya, unrest in Iraq, Belgian euthenasia, the inprisonment of Al Jazeerah journalists in Egypt, and for ignoring Sochi altogether.

 

I breathe a sigh of relief when the adverts pop up. Then I discover that Africa doesn't have enough water to go around and would I mind paying a meagre sum to supply one person with water that isn't full of urine, faeces, bugs, and little children playing. Sorry. have a television license fee to pay for.

 

Job Interview Of The Week

Applying for jobs online is easy most of the time. Choose a vacancy and click on 'Apply'. job done. Sometimes however the unthinkable happens and someone notices that pweople are applying for these jobs.

 

That hapened to me recently which was very unexpected. Normally I get rejected or forgotten completely. The mistake I made of course was discovering the interview I'd agreed to attend was not in my home town, but miles away, out there, in the wilds of Darkest Wiltshire. So I discussed the problem with the employer and we agreed it was sensible not to proceed.

 

Unfortunately England Expects That Every Jobseeker Shall Do His Duty, and thus the Job Centre, as soon as they found out, decided I had committed heresy. "We can stop your money if refuse an interview" My claims advisor advised me. I hadn't refused it.All I did was... it was no use. The Job Centre decided I was in the wrong and so I had to phone the employer and ask them very nicely if they wouldn't mind letting me attend the interview after all. They said yes.

 

First the interview was postponed until the following week. Then I was asked if it was possible to come in later during the afernoon instead, because the company was having a problem with suppliers. Then finally, after my miserable bus journey and a walk through some town on the edge of civilisation, I was within a few hundred yards of the employers premises. Just a few more yards... Almost there... Oh hello. my phone is rininging.... Interview postponed until next week

 

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

 

Right then. My claims Advisor owes me



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Yes. Darkest Wiltshire. Our rural rainforest is a land of wild white woolly wolves,  loud and hairy late night primates, druidic weirdoes, speed cameras, and herds of cows that inspect you closely should be so unlucky as to encounter that particular hazard. Otheer than that it raons a lot.

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Well, we've already hunted ours into extinction. Now the eco-brigade are hunting anyobne who so much as looks at a fur coat in envy. There was a badger cull in Wiltshire just of late but so far they haven't been recorded as attacking anyone. I nearly stepped on an Adder once. It's our only poisonous snake. It hissed at me and I got the message. Very impressed you were able to take photographs of a bear attacking you. In your place, I'd probably be pooing myself, screaming, and generally trying to run away. But then we're not allowed huntin' rifles in darkest Wiltshire.

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I only took pictures a inch from its nose, then stopped.

 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/23739794@N06/

 

Three pics, summer in alaska.

 

Im going to be dropping out of the Roman history for a while again.... people dont seem that interested in digging deep, and dont want to waste any more time reading about how stylish the Roman Army Skirts are. Ill check back in here in a few more years.

 

If things dont turn out for you in a job search, I would find a slab city. Every country has some. They are unlisted communities that fall off the government radar. Hopefully you wont get that far. Just dont grow angry if you find the years pass and the funding runs out, its the nature of socialism, but not yours, not who you are. The greeks and romans developed philosophies for these aspects of life, but for better or worst, you are always you, circumstances be damned.

 

Best of luck, and stay away from dumpster diving.

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