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Bang!

caldrail

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Saturday night in my area is never entirely quiet. My street hapens to be a major path between Old Town on the hill and New Swindon at the bottom of it, with clusters of clubs and pubs at either end. So as you might imagine, the Swindon branch of the Inebriated Debating Society often pass by.

 

If that wasn't bad enough, my neighbours are keen on playing music before they go out for the night on the basis it puts them in the mood. For what? Annoying people? It seems to work, because at half-past one they returned with a crowd of like-minded friends in tow, holding an emergency session of the Inebriated Shouting Society. I gather the Police stopped by to quiet them down.

 

Then, an hour later, when their society meeting had run its course and they'd dispersed to spread mayhem around the borough of Swindon, my neighbours decided to play music, because they were in the mood. This time I had to bang on their door. Is that your music?

 

"Erm... Yes it is..." Said the startled young lady at the door, "You want me to turn it down?"

 

Might be a good idea at this point.

 

Finally, in the wee small hours, long after all the fast food and indian restaurants are closed, somebodies girlfriend outside my home side "I'm hungry.... Fooooood!". Of course she could have been a wandering werewolf or perhaps a zombie searching for brains, or maybe an immigrant from the jungles of New Guinea, I don't know. What I do know is she will very likely go hungry until she gets home. Somebody point her in the right direction please...

 

Indian Restaurant

Having mentioned indian restaurants, I shoukld mention that I tried a new last night, during the somewhat quieter period when my neighbours were summoning their allies to the relentless thud of a nightclub metronome. The food was very good quality, I have to say, albeit something of an expensive extravagance for my income, but a little of what you like does you good (until today, when the race for the toilet becomes an excruciating exercise for your lower cheek muscles). However, whilst I waited for the meal to be cooked and handed over, I became aware that all the customers were Asians. Every last one of them. I don't begrudge them residency in Britain or the availability of dining out, it's just a very strange feeling to be the only Briton in a restaurant in Britain.

 

Question Of The Week

Who is Barry Scott anyway? I ask this because we often see him on television advertising a certain cleaning product, looking glassy eyed after experiencing some purple painted form of high speed transport. I susect those of you spared British television won't even have heard of him. But it occurred to me he's perfect for the US firearms industry.

 

"Wow, that was a fast reload.. When you need home defence... Bang, and the dirt is gone."



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According to Wikipedia, "UK advertisements are presented by "Barry Scott", an effusive character played by Neil Burgess, who claims that Cillit Bang can remove limescale, rust and ground-in dirt, and places a copper-plated One Penny coin in Cillit Bang to demonstrate the product's cleaning ability. In another version of the advert, Barry is joined by a stereotypical housewife character, Jill, who remarks of his penny-cleaning demonstration, "You love that one, Barry!".

(The back of the container originally listed copper as a substance on which one should not use Cillit Bang; however, it has since been amended.)

Haha!

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