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The Rushey Platt Villa

Entries in this blog

All of a Sudden...

Hey - guess what? - all of a sudden the government are listening. The Prime Minister is 'aware of the impact rising prices are having on families'. The Chancellor is willing to discuss budgetary concerns. Plans to raise road tax are being reviewed.   I see. Now that lorry drivers are protesting over fuel tax, now they're losing elections and facing a possible ignomious end to New Labour, they're paying attention. Which means they weren't paying attention before. I always said they weren't, but

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British Weather Is Back

The weather has taken a turn for the worse and its temporarily goodbye to long hot spring days. Yep. British weather has reasserted itself and its raining. Just in time for the traditional downpour on a Bank Holiday Weekend.   Dream of the Week Nearly decided that getting a job was the front runner for that prize, but no, it was last nights dream about tornado's. Don't remember the details, but someone pointed out the window and there they were, four or five funnels under a thick black cloud,

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Mr Cranky Pants

Yep, thats me. Mr Cranky Pants   My new neighbours keep locking the outside door and leave me struggling to get in and out of my own home. They keep starting to play loud music and I've got a sore foot banging on the floor. I keep applying for jobs but Swindon employers have recently had lobotomies so they can't understand their own recruitment procedures. The Saturday night Town Cryer Association is still in business and vocal in the early hours. My car is starting to look a little weather wo

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Nursery Crimes

Another little gripe about libraries... Well, I seem to spend a lot of time in them these days. Sometimes I stroll across town to the local library at a sports centre. Today, as I log on, its become an impromptu day care centre. There's a whole tribe of infants all sat around singing nursery ryhmnes. Maybe its my age, but I feel an urge to morph into AM, and shout "WILL YOU LOT SHUT UP! I'm trying to type my emails."   Oh no, not another nursery rhymne. Twinkle twinkle little star... Now they'

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The Library Blues

As usual, we line up outside the library waiting for it to open, so we can all enjoy the public internet access. Read books? Ahem. The doors open, and the library assisteant, a clean cut lad, is brushed aside as the experienced library goers are keen to log on. Poor lad nearly gets trampled to death.   Good grief, AM's friend has bought himself a new coat. Instead of the filthy padded jacket he's owned since 1976 he now wears a raincoat, very suitable for spring sunshine and long days in the

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Pans Labyrinth

There's a recent spanish film caled Pans Labyrinth. For those who haven't seen it, its about a young girl in spain in 1944, at the end of the civil war, struggling to cope with reality and immersing herself in fantasy. At the end of the film, its impossible to know whether she was deluded or really the princess in exile. Its a film that doesn't baulk at showing violence and human nastiness, and one with some haunting visuals. The quality of the film is excellent.   You know, I sometimes wonder

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Its a Cruel World

For a while we've had some cracking weather, lovely and sunny. Today though its cloudy, damp from yesterdays rain, and to be honest, quite a bit cooler. In fact, as I strolled across town in the mid-day gloom I could see my breath.   Then again, things ain't too bad. The rain yesterday didn't amount to a cyclone sweeping Swindon downstream in massive mudslides or tsunami's. nor did an earthquake reduce my local school to an impromptu graveyard.   Nature can be fantastic. A fluke of the weat

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Telling it How It Was

I was fascinated by a documentary aired a couple of nights ago. A teenager in 1997 discovered a fossil in North Dakota, which turned out to be an extremely important find, because the creature was mummified and soft tissue had survived. It was a hadrosaur, a common grazing animal living in wetlands (the area found was once a wide river near the inland sea that once split north america in two during the cretaceous period).   The reamins were not complete, and a large portion had gone missing (e

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Monday Cars

I like cars. Especially the fast ones. No, thats not right...   I like fast cars. Especially the very fast ones. Yep, thats right.   But not all of them. For various reasons, either the aesthetics, personal experience, or the revealing reviews of driving journalists, there are bound to be those I don't regard as worthy. Take the Lamborghini Gallardo for instance. Now italian supercars fire my blood yet last year one trundled past me in town. A white convertible owned by a local man and it lo

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Cyclone of '08

The huge storm in Burma has left as many as ten thousand people dead. Its hard to understand the scale of disasters like this. Even the secretive burmese government has felt it has no choice but to ask for foreign assistance. No doubt many people are pointing fingers and blaming Global Warming etc etc. Its as well to point that terrible storms have happened before, its just that the modern media make us so much more aware of what happens around the world now and that given we only live for a sho

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Missing the First Bit

Have you seen that Tom Hanks movie about being marooned? Its a lonely vigil, here in my safe warm cave on Washout Island. Every day I do little else than send messages in bottles hoping an employer will come across it and send a boat to bring me back to civilisation. One bottle came back on the morning tide with a note inside saying - You haven't done the first bit. Oh? Whats that? Light signal fires? Jump up and down at passing aeroplanes yelling very loudly? Becoming intimately familiar with a

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Casting Votes

The news is full of our local elections. It seems the media has smelled blood, and have joyfully reported the embarrasement of our prime minister. The headlines are coming thick and fast as Labour returns its worst result for forty years. Gordon Brown of course says his party needs to listen and then they can move forward. Listen by all means GB, but people are starting to vote with their... erm... vote.   In Zimbabwe Mugabe has lost the vote, but not the war. After twenty eight years in power

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Hi - My Name Is Mr Guest

Tried to log on to the PC at my local library this morning. Apparently my domain did not exist and therefore I'm a non-entity the computer network doesn't recognise. Hey, I know I'm unemployed but this is a public facility right?   The man at the desk assured me it was merely my login card that had expired. He tapped a few keys, smiled, and sent me on my way.   Right then, log on... wait.... Oh joy, I'm still a non-entity.   So having gone back to the man at the desk I discover there's no

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Getting It Wrong

Yesterday I was strolling home from a visit to a supermarket a few miles away from where I live. Its an old country road that was swallowed by a huge redevelopment of the farmland around west swindon back in the 70's. In fact, for cars its a dead end, because much of the road is now a deddicated bus route.   Imagine my suprise when a car drove past gently. The driver had come down the road, seen the NO EXIT sign to the adjacent main road (the slip road is for buses only!) and proceeded to driv

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Franglais Fury

The french are upset. Their entry for this years Eurovision Song Contest is to be sung in... wait for it... English! No, surely not.... The French are proud of their language, once the language of diplomacy. It seems that a nation whose quest to eradicate english words in their conversational language has now reached the ultimate irony. French politicians are dismayed - but good grief people, are you really taking the Eurovision Song Contest seriously?   Worsening Situation of the Week This

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Red Tape and Red Faces

Bureaucracy - don't you just love it?   The problem with being poor in Britain is that you have to prove it. Seriously, its no good turning up to a dole office unshaven, haggard, dressed in rags. You need documented proof that an agent of the government can photocopy and study in every detail. Even if you give them the proof, you can guarantee you'll be getting a letter four weeks later asking for the proof you submitted originally. Oh and it must have your name and address on it. My bank is f

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Body in the Water

Coate Water is a local beauty spot. Built as a reservoir for the convenience of the 18th century canals that passed through the valley, its now a nature reserve and a pleasant walk. In the local paper however I discover that a weekend walker had discovered a body there. Apparently it had been there for months, almost reduced to a skeleton, hidden in a stagnant pond near the lake itself. As yet no-one knows who he is or how he met his fate, but the disturbing thing for me is that I've walked past

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Five Million Quids Worth

This morning I popped into Lydiard Park. What a difference! After a five million pound restoration job the park is looking manicured and tidy.   But.... Its also lost that rustic charm. I was young when I first starting going to Lydiard - it was a country park a few miles out of town back then. Now its on the edge of Swindon, a public open space, and the old untouched woodland has gone, undergrowth cleared, replaced by wide grassy meadows amongst the trees. The old lake has been cleaned up bu

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Moses Came To Swindon!

Following the passiing on of Charlton Heston, it turns out that the man himself visited grotty old Swindon in July 1968 because his families nanny, one Murial Loveridge, was a swindoner. He happened to be in britain at the time, appearing on stage in Bath, and popped across discreetly. Apparently he called in for lunch to the Riflemans Arms in town (now the Plum Tree - why do people have to keep changing pub names these days?) which caused a bit of a stir. I've fed and watered myself in that ver

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Woke Up This Morning

Today I'm setting aside my usual commentary on the World and its problems, and shall therefore describe events in a normal Caldrail Day. You know the sort of thing, that blues song..   7:00am - Wake up.   7:01am - Roll over and go back to sleep.   8:30am - Neighbours go to work.. wardrobe doors banging.... giggling and shouting..... Car starting up and driving off....   8:35am - Garage across the yard opens for business and the yard fills up with customers cars. Engines making all sorts

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Revealing the dirt on vans

People just can't resist it can they? A white van covered in dust is an invitation to add your favourite gag. usually its Clean Me which is probably a little obvious.This morning I passed I wish my girlfriend was this dirty. Oh wow, that was original, number two on the best selling dust graffiti list. Number three is of course your favourite football team, number four a crude reference to sexual activity, number five a statement of undying love in a heart shape.   Swindon does not score points

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Ma Africa

Africa - Land of the future's gold Land is for everybody young and old The place that holds a single bright future But what happens when the future turns to torture? Ma' Africa What went wrong with your brains? You kill each other into strife and no human dignity Africa - Lets stand together And make Africa the Land of Hope   Ma' Africa From the album 1 Giant Leap (2001)   Africa is such a place of contrast. Great natural wealth and beauty, a place where children play joyfully in the

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Apologies and Condolences

I apologise. I have just seen an artists impression of the new Swindon Library on the wall as I popped down to log on this morning, and the carbuncles are indeed shown. The colours used by the artist played down the visual effect and therefore I hadn't noticed them.   Plane Crash In Kent A tragic accident in Farnborough, Kent, where a Cessna Citation business jet ran into engine trouble after take off and attempted to return to Biggin Hill, only to lose control and crash into a housing estat

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Talking Rubbish

Our local councillor, SP, is a man with a mission, and he's talking rubbish. Yes, I said rubbish. His five point plan on waste issues in our area is now posted through everybodies door - he means business. Well good luck SP. I know you mean well, but lets be honest, if you want to cure fly tipping what difference are adverts, thicker bags, and busibodies telling you to recycle a bottle going to do? Not a lot. Old mattresses, discarded clothes, and an endless supply of black plastic bags will sti

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Don't I know You?

Entering the office of New Deal, the agency that handles the unemployed in Britain, I notice the young security guard at reception looking at me in that 'Don't I know you?' way.   "Have you claimed in the last three months Sir?"   I truthfully reply I that I hadn't. He looks me in the eye and clearly doesn't believe me. This does not bode well. What worries even more is that the familiar faces of the dole office aren't there... Uh-oh...   Fossil of the Week Goes to a chap in america who

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