With a train magazine in hand I sat in the waiting room at the local surgery. Sooner or later I was going to be called and rather ominously the editorial of this months issue was about dead trains, locomotives lying idle, rusting away. Great. I needed that.
Actually there a certain poignancy. As a child I used to wander along a disused railway, and in the wide open plain of ash beyond the iron railings, row upon row of obselete diesels waited for the cutting torch, reduced to shells or pitia
This morning my doctor called me in for a decision on what to do about my health. Apparently if I was 65 or older he wouldn't bother (Heck, I'd probably die of old age anyway) but since I'm such a young man, he'll presribe these very special radioactive kryptonite pills.
I kid you not, the little card box vibrates with strange power all by itself. Reading the instructions is an eye-opener. Some people aren't affected, but the side effects are headaches, tiredness, nausea, and so forth.
All this good weather has been very seductive. It might be something people in other places around the world take for granted, but we British do enjoy our sunny weather when we can get. This weekend the clouds rolled in and as disappointing as it was, we do need the rain. I stopped for a while looking out the back window. The rainfall came in surges, no more than a light drizle one moment, a torrential downpour the next, though I didn't hear any thunder from the storms the weather people told us
Before I dropped in on the library this morning, I strolled down to the newsagent to pick up a copy of the local paper. Not only that, I intend to pay for it too. Unlike many of the people who fill the stories in print this week.
There seems to be a lot of theft going on at the moment. Police are looking for one supermarket thief whose grainy security camera image looks worryingly like me on a rainy day, and caught some villains escaping from a raid on another outlet one night. The amazing
It had to happen. As I crossed the main road to Swindons shiney new library the first signs of urban decay have been left upon it in the form of a dark blue squiggle. Nigel woz ere. Well thanks, Nigel, but perhaps if you learned to read and get of bed in the mornings you could drop in and enjoy the ambience instead of wasting your money on spray paint. In fact, there's a section on art, and if you peruse the books contained therein (is my english too advanced for you?) you might discover how com
Yesterday afternoon I made my way home through that familiar alleyway that riuns along the old college site. It is something of a rubbish tip, a place for personal drug deals, and even sometimes the odd bonfire or two. The discarded clothes, rotting wood, rusty springs, smashed plastic shells of consumer electronics, incomplete graffiti, and broken bottles and stones are something I've wearily become used to. As I leaned forward to avoid the ever-increasing expanse of foliage, the troughs dug by
A little while ago you couldn't watch television without seeing an advert for Shiela's Wheels, a company offering cheap car insurance for women drivers. Three ladies sat on a pink cadillac having a sing-song. To be honest, it was hard to ignore the blonde in the middle. She genuinely had some screen presence and the eye naturally falls on her.
Now it seems the television campiagn is so successful that the European Court of Justice have ruled that women cannot have cheaper car insurance beca
Nearly lunchtime and I nearly forgot I was supposed to be at the programme centre for a one to one session on how to apply for vacancies. You'd think that after three years of job searching I'd have learned some employment skills, but the government assume you're a dunce and teach you anyway.
Oh well, here goes. As it happens I now have a mentor. A bit like Yoda, but taller, female, and not quite as green. A 'Yodess' in other words. I like they way she stares silently in disapproval whenever
What would you do with a lottery win? With several million pounds in your wallet? I've heard this question asked time and time again. Many people actually tell me they want to be generous and give everyone they like a huge wad of the winnings. Perhaps, but I'm a little too cynical to believe I'm that likeable.
Anyhow, Young L, the museums resident football player, was discussing that very question today with the backroom crew. His preferred course of action is to buy a Bowler Wildcat (for t
You know what? I'm getting a bit fed up with people asking me for money. It's happening more and more, usually from total strangers. It does annoy me somewhat. There's such a thing as being generous, but giving away cash to all and sundry does not strike me as a financially sound policy.
You might have guessed that this sort of thing has happened again. You're right, it did. In a sort of impatient and irritated mood already I was striding across the Granville Street car park. It's nothing s
Another thursday with a sort of un-thursday feel to it. That about sums the day up. Truth of the matter is I'm struggling to think of something to report, other than this morning was bright and sunny. Oh yes - I walked around the park earlier. Like you do.
Nice Place To Nest
In the middle of the lake is one of those infernal fountains that sprouted in every public park some years ago. Recently a bird had built a nest right next to the sput. Like living next to a waterfall in reverse. Now th
What is it with banks these days? If for any reason you approach a teller with a request beyond simply giving them money they can't cope. "Why don't you do this?" They suggest, "Why can't you be the same as everyone else and ask for a service we know how to do?"
Because your clever automated system doesn't meet my requirements, that's why not. Why can't banks train their staff any more? What happened to all this wonderful customer service? In the television adverts everyone is happy, efficie
Following the passiing on of Charlton Heston, it turns out that the man himself visited grotty old Swindon in July 1968 because his families nanny, one Murial Loveridge, was a swindoner. He happened to be in britain at the time, appearing on stage in Bath, and popped across discreetly. Apparently he called in for lunch to the Riflemans Arms in town (now the Plum Tree - why do people have to keep changing pub names these days?) which caused a bit of a stir. I've fed and watered myself in that ver
You might think from reading this blog that things aren't quite going my way. Correct. However, it isn't all that bad, and sometimes I end up with a few quid left my pocket to indulge my passion for takeways. This week didn't quite leave me enough for my favourite curry. So it's a bag of chips then?
Do I really want to go up the hill at the back of my house and barter for the wrong meal in that chinese fish and chip shop? As far as I can tell, they have no comprehension of customer service o
Sometimes you just know something is different. it's a subliminal thing. You don't think about it, but rather it suddenly occurs to you that the world is not following the same old ritual. Such a minor epiphany happened to me last night. It was quiet. Too quiet...
Now that my street is blocked by roadworks, traffic is diverted, and no longer uses the road to travel between the town centre and Old Town up the hill. At least most people are diverted. I've seen a few confused attempts by driver
Last week at the programme centre a chap asked me to help him with his jobsearch. His concernwas that the job centre was getting a little impatient with him. My concern was that he was asking me to do his applications for him.
You see, I don't mind helping people. it's just that I prefer to help people who try to help themselves. If he'd actually shown any willingness to pull his weight, I would have backed him to the hilt. As it happens, he had no intention of doing anything at all. Noneth
The nights are very short at this time of year and very ealy this morning the daylight announced its presence through the curtains. Had I not stayed up late last night investigating the possibilities of electronic music, I might have noticed. Still, I did wake earlier than usual, and somewhat bleary eyed wandered down to the supermarket for a few odds and ends. Luckily I was just concious enough to put some clothes on.
So lets see... A loaf of bread (so I won't starve), a bottle of bleech (s
A quick glance through the news is always the same thing. Once again the plight of residents in Queensland, Australia, takes centrestage, but the the usual collection of political and financial wrangling makes life seem one long argument from start to finish. No wonder people turn to soap operas. What's the alternative? Learning that a female celebrity was sleeping with a different guy every night as one newspaper headline proclaimed this morning?
How much of our news is nothing more than e
I got a phone call from a flustered computer technician on Friday. "Uhhh... We can't load your Windows.... Have you got a license code?"
Groan. Yes I do. Please wait. Off I went, found the necessary document, and told him the code over the phone. He was happy and informed me the computer would be ready that afternoon. I hung up and went about my daily business. That of course means guitar practice at the moment. A short while later the phone rang when I was in the middle of a hot screaming s
To say that the museum is a quiet place to work is something of an understatement. All morning the public pass this way and that, going about their mundane business, many totally unaware that a museum exists right under their nose. On the other hand, I suspect many regard museums as boring places that they and their friends wouldn't dream of frequenting for fear their lives would be destroyed by the humiliation. Pfah! What do they know?
In fact, today was quite an exciting day for us volunte
Despite getting out of bed late this morning after too much cider the night before, I made it to the library for the grand opening ceremony as usual. Thing is though, the mood seemed very muted. Nobody was massing by the door to be let upstairs. Not even The Flash, who lives for his mad dash round the coffee bar every morning.
I should have guessed. I should have realised. The computors were down. The lady on the helpdesk approached as we filed up the stairs on autopilot and delighted in tel
Phone hacking is the big news story right now. Frankly I've had enough of these reports. Yes, it is scandalous, and has already shut down a national newspaper, but I seriously don't believe Gordon Brown said anything remotely of interest to the general public no matter how the journalists tried to word it.
The truth of this ongoing scandal is the realisation that Rupert Murdoch owns too big a slice of british media and those who want that issue addressed are making sure it is. Even this morn
There's been plenty of reminders in the news that a six ton satellite is about to crash toward Earth as the laws of gravity overcome millions of dollars worth of investment in orbital technology. No-one knows exactly where it's coming down, or exactly when. Apparently my chances of being hit by lumps of melted NASA hardware are something like 1 in 3200. Given that a satellite of this size crashes to Earth every year, that does make my future look little better than standing at the target end of
What's going on out there? This is a big old planet, however small Ryanair makes it seem. Time then to switch to Auntie Beeb, Britains most watched news channel, and check out world affairs unfolding from the comfort of my comfy chair.
More huffing and puffing about the US debt crisis. Apparently politicians are under pressure to find a solution, which is pretty much what ours do for a living, so obviously crises aren't as common across the Pond. Come on guys, sort yourselves out, we want so
Entering the office of New Deal, the agency that handles the unemployed in Britain, I notice the young security guard at reception looking at me in that 'Don't I know you?' way.
"Have you claimed in the last three months Sir?"
I truthfully reply I that I hadn't. He looks me in the eye and clearly doesn't believe me. This does not bode well. What worries even more is that the familiar faces of the dole office aren't there... Uh-oh...
Fossil of the Week
Goes to a chap in america who
