It was quite a sight this morning. Further down from the library I inhabit is a hotel, a building that might not be the tallest in Swindon but certainly towers over everything else around it. There was a column of thick dirty brown smoke pouring out of a roof vent like one of those dark satanic mills the government banned so we could all breathe. Can you imagine booking a room there?
"Can I help you Sir?"
I'd like a room please.
"Certainly Sir. We have accomodation in Admin, Mechanic
Yep, its AM. He's sat two cubicles away from me in the library as I write this and whinging away like nothing else.
Mutter mutter.. groan... can't send my emails... stupid computer.... why won't this work.... oh no.... not again.... mutter mutter....
Funny thing is, some unemployed guy, older than me and obviously unacquainted with personal computing, was getting help making a job application via the internet. AM looked over his shoulder irritably A - because they were disturbing his wh
Beep... Beep... Beep...
The old womans mobility buggy goes into reverse gear for the seventh time as she fails utterly to negotiate the wide open space of the library lounge. Now she's stuck between shelving units with ten feet to spare.
That kind of sets the tone for the day. Oh hang on again, she's reversing again....
Okay, she's moved a few feet. That'll keep her happy for a a few minutes until she works out where she is. But as I was saying, today is proving to very annoying. One
Another day, another job agency. Part of the ritual of finding work is submitting to the high street slave traders. A very necessary evil. The days when some old woman with horn rim glasses, blue rinse, and a cigarette hanging out of her mouth handed you a card with a vacancy written on it are long gone. Now they're all plush offices with ettiquette and protocol droids ruling the roost with an iron hand.
In fairness the young lady who handled my case was pleasant enough despite her misgiving
Mr Palmer, the leader of East Lindsey District Council, is unhappy. Strange lights have been seen in the Midlands sky for a while now, and now a turbine blade from a wind generator tower has been ripped off near his turkey farm. He wants the authorities to look into the recent UFO activity and in particular the damage they caused to one of our turbines.
The Ministry of Defence however has shown absolutely no interest in the goings-on, telling us that they won't investigate unless they percei
How long has it been since I last wandered around Lawns? Come to think of it, it's been a while, so a couple of days ago I did indeed wander around. Nice days do things like that to me.
Regular readers will know the name 'Lawns' because I've complained often enough about our parks department, who seem determined to remove anything green in them. I've never seen trees looking so scared.
Eventually I passed what used to be the grounds of the local manor house. The Goddard family packed th
Ladies, Gentelemen, and Swindon Residents, I have gathered you here on the Blog Express to inform you that something terrible has happened. First, let us look at the clues.
Clue No1 - We've run out of August.
Clue No2 - All the librarians are telling us how much they enjoyed their summer holiday.
Clue No3 - An increasingly blustery wind.
Clue No4 - Weather forecasts predicting heavy rain on a regular basis.
Clue No5 - Slightly shorter days and less urge to get out of bed.
Can anyone be perfect? Some of us believe so, usually the type of person that wears a black polo neck sweater, a gold medallion, and earns millions by telling everyone else how they can be too. I wonder how we see ourselves? The obvious answer is to use a mirror or a photograph, but what I actually mean is our own perception of ourselves. Those lads in the street this last weekend no doubt regard themselves as good-for-a-laugh salt-of-the-earth characters. What? A bunch of drunken louts?
Hea
Our local paper ran an interesting story yesterday. A Swindon company has been given the contract to supply China with translated bibles whilst the olympic games are being held there. As a succesful commercial bid its praiseworthy, but I'm astonished that China is permitting their import. China is after all a communist regime which inherently regards religion as a rival for peoples loyalty.
The olympics can be a thorny issue. The labour government went to some effort to get it held in London
June is becoming an all-or-nothing month for british weather in our new globally warmed climate. Last week it rained incessantly. I got soaked in the downpour. This week the sun is out with a veangeance and I got soaked with sweat. You just can't beat the british weather can you? You get soaked no matter what happens..
Puppies For Sale
Ther's a fashion for 'handbag dogs' going on, and perhaps not too suprisingly, unscrupulous east european traders are selling puppies reared in very dubious
I like September. here in Britain under our ever-warming climate its become a respite, a chance to relax. The humid thunderstorms of the August rain season are passed, and the gales of October are yet to arrive. The air is cool and the sun warm.
Its not just me. I do notice other people are more relaxed too. I pass employees quietly sitting in the sunshine outside their workplaces without any of the insidious mickey-taking of passers-by. i wonder if this has to do with kids going back to sch
The frozen slush and hard packed snow has turned to an undulating sheet of ice outside my home. On a downhill pavement, it's fairly lethal. Looks like I'm going to have to break my back and shovel my way to the shops to prevent broken bones. What a choice.
Choices of the Week
Every year you see the same adverts. Lovable pets in help center cages looking mournful. The message is always "A pet is not just for Christmas" and I agree wholeheartedly. Not everyonme does it seems, and in the paper
Britains terrorism threat has been raised from 'substantial' to 'severe'. The British public might not notice, the authorities claim. They're right, we won't, because unless an event actually happens life will go on as normal. A part of me is still a little suspicious though. I remember that moment some years back when the army cordoned off Heathrow Airport in a blaze of publicity. Was that a 'severe' threat situation? If so, where are all the tanks now?
I have wondered for some time that ev
Well that's it. I have now been unemployed for three years. I suppose some people might regard that as an achievement but what a long time to go without throwing paper aeroplanes in an office when the boss isn't around.
Of course the government is well aware of claimants like myself. Recently there's been news stories about the problem and interviews with politicians promising crackdowns and work placements. A part of rolls my eyes and shrugs. It's all been said and done before. Initiatives
There's a very cold wind blowing through the trees of Rushey Platt. Cold air from Russia has blown in and already the weather reports are warning of severe conditions. The AA have advised motorists to take warm clothing with them as gale force winds and drifts of heavy snow are expected. The reverse is going on in Australia right now, where winds from the continents interior are blowing hot air over the coastal regions where everybody lives.
There's going to be comment about Global Warming o
Its Friday night in Newcastle. Having spent the day travelling there by train and then searching the city center for historical relics, we were in the mood to relax. Drinks all round then. The barman in the hotel suggested we might want to try a certain game played with dice in a box, and that kept us entertained for a few hours. Inevitably we were getting tired, so it was good night and off to my hotel room.
It was hot. Even with the window open I was gasping for breath. Are the radiators o
For a couple of days now the weather has been very warm and sunny, albeit a tad windy. The rainfall that has drenched France has threatened to claw its way north and finally today, it's here. Not heavy, just that dull drizzle that makes everything damp. It always brings that dull greyness that I associate with Swindon. It also brings a subdued mood too I notice.
It also brings out the dull people. It really does. Now the sun has gone away and the bright cheerful crowd with it there's a crowd
The health service is determined to prove I'm not well. As part of their quest to put me under the micropscope I've been asked to attend some strange scanning session. Apparently it's another excuse for that young lady nurse to daub me in gel. I can't wait.
Thing is though I keep hearing complaints that the health service can't deliver this or deliver that. I must be honest, as someone who's never needed much in the way of treatment, I haven't noticed any problem at all. So what's the deal?
It was one of those uncomfortably hot nights. We're due to get more of them soon, and worse, as the midday temperatures are predicted to reach thirty degrees centigrade, which is the offically the point at which the British melt. Sleeping on nights like those is defined as the moments of weariness between rolling around in your own sweat. Instead, I sat bleary eyed and watched television, idlely flicking through channels in the vain hope of finding a programme that was even remotely interesting.
I grew up during the Cold War. There were air raid sirens mounted on tall posts around the town, something I realised as a schoolkid although most of my friends were unaware of it. As a child I was hugely interested in aeroplanes and I remember those recognition manuals with grainy black and white photographs of those curiously gothic Russian military jets of the 60's and 70's. Of course I never saw them flying. I never saw them at all. That's no coincidence.
Some years ago I was hiking down
Now I know I'm getting old. How do I know? Well sit down comfortably and I'll begin.
Exhibit A is a pretty ordinary computer printer, an cream coloured plastic box with a couple of slots and a mind of its own. Even when plugged in, it sits there resolutely doing nothing. Somewhere on the featureless surface of the box is a button that brings this reluctant technological wonder to life.
Somewhere...
I know there's a 'start' button on this thing...
For a moment, I nearly resorted
All weekend the library computers weren't working properly. What a disaster. it seems the whole community is utterly dependent on the facility and hordes of disappointed library-goers left the building despondently for two days, including me, aklthough in fairness I was a bit angrier than most.
When the problem emerged on the saturday morning, it was my least favourite librarian on duty. He makes a big show of trying to be helpful, but when you actually ask him for help, the answer is always
Friday was a quiet unassuming sort of day. Not really suprising since the bulk of the population were either glued to their television sets or heading for the hills in a desperate attempt to avoid watching yet another wedding video. So we had a sort of hazy murky day that never quite made up its mind what it wanted to do about Britains latest extravanganza.
Ricky Is At It Again
I see Ricky gervais has been giving us all the benefit of his well paid opinion. I shouldn't really criticise
Today I spent another three hours on a volunteer stint, manning the reception desk and researching some of the exhibits. Friday mornings are a bit quiet to say the least. Whilst chatting to the boss a young man popped in, sharp suit and dangling camera, for no apparent reason than to find an excuse to show off.
It turns out the young man in question, Young D, is something of an entrepeneur. Always starting a business or other, making connections, wheeling and dealing. "This month I made
For some strange reason I woke bright and early this morning. For a reason probably easier to understand I wobbled dangerously as I overconfidently got out of bed. Oh well, start as you mean to continue.
As usual I made a brief glance out the window to check what sort of weather awaits me today. The horizon was buried under thick grey clag, a sort of dark fog, and at first sight it looked as if I was expecting a very damp morning.
By the time i was washed, dressed, and ready to take on t
