There's been a lot of UFO stories lately. The british army has been reporting all over the place. A story in this mornings paper is about one guy who dialled the emergency number, describing a strange light. The police patiently asked where the light was and came came to the conclusion it was the moon.
Funny thing is, we all see strange strange objects in the sky sometimes. Thousands of anti-aircraft rounds were fired at Venus in World War 2 for instance. The girlfriend of our band manager o
I remember there was a hullabaloo some years back when some young man killed himself listening to suicide solution by Ozzy Osbourne. The tragedy is one thing, the association is perhaps a little strained because if you pay attention to the lyrics you discover the song is actually about alcohol abuse.
There was a publicised court case when Judas Priest were prosecuted over someones elses death, the idea being that the lyrics contained reversed messages. Ridiculous. Who bothers to listen to mu
It turns out that I'm among the first recruits for the Work Programme. If anyone wants to know what being a guinea pig is like, I might be able to tell you. Already I've set a record by being the first claimant to have done his initial assessment twice, though I have to confess, that's because the first one was mislaid.
"Things always go wrong when you're around." Observed one other claimant, a chap I remember seeing here and there over the last couple of years. He was one of my fellow fork
The frozen slush and hard packed snow has turned to an undulating sheet of ice outside my home. On a downhill pavement, it's fairly lethal. Looks like I'm going to have to break my back and shovel my way to the shops to prevent broken bones. What a choice.
Choices of the Week
Every year you see the same adverts. Lovable pets in help center cages looking mournful. The message is always "A pet is not just for Christmas" and I agree wholeheartedly. Not everyonme does it seems, and in the paper
For a couple of days now the weather has been very warm and sunny, albeit a tad windy. The rainfall that has drenched France has threatened to claw its way north and finally today, it's here. Not heavy, just that dull drizzle that makes everything damp. It always brings that dull greyness that I associate with Swindon. It also brings a subdued mood too I notice.
It also brings out the dull people. It really does. Now the sun has gone away and the bright cheerful crowd with it there's a crowd
It was one of those uncomfortably hot nights. We're due to get more of them soon, and worse, as the midday temperatures are predicted to reach thirty degrees centigrade, which is the offically the point at which the British melt. Sleeping on nights like those is defined as the moments of weariness between rolling around in your own sweat. Instead, I sat bleary eyed and watched television, idlely flicking through channels in the vain hope of finding a programme that was even remotely interesting.
Life is a struggle for doughnuts in the dangerous world of the rainforests of Darkest Wiltshire. Face it, a doughnut can make the difference between fulfilled satisfaction or desperate hunger.
I pass the window of the chinese takeaway and drool helplessly at the large glossy adverts of exotic dishes on display. By habit I check my pockets for cash, and make a sigh of resignation at the discovery of the last few pence.
Pence? What can you buy with pence these days? I suppose newspapers a
How long has it been since I last wandered around Lawns? Come to think of it, it's been a while, so a couple of days ago I did indeed wander around. Nice days do things like that to me.
Regular readers will know the name 'Lawns' because I've complained often enough about our parks department, who seem determined to remove anything green in them. I've never seen trees looking so scared.
Eventually I passed what used to be the grounds of the local manor house. The Goddard family packed th
Glancing at the local paper today I saw a piece on how some organisation intends to renovate the street I live in. In a sense that's a good thing. With a new shopping centre planned to replace the derelict college buildings almost next door, it hardly makes sense to build an expensive flagship development next to a run down street full of empty and vandalised offices.
Trouble, they intend to use offenders to paint properties and build flower boxes. Oh great. So the local burglars get a chanc
Time to start work on another row of cardboard boxes, all slightly deformed by the weight of those above them, and recognised only by marker pen grafitti. Stockchecking isn't rocket science. Open the box, count the contents, make a record of the result. It isn't always souch a welcome task however. In one warehouse a large bin stuffed with nearly eight hundred paperback books required a confirmation of the expected total and the bored individual left a penciled message "Probably" next to the opt
Recently I noticed a news item concerning the increasing level of drug traffic in Britain. Perhaps I shouldn't be suprised. The local newsopaper has regularly reported drug busts by police here and there in Swindon, probably like any other town or city in the country.
Not being a drug user myself I don't generally come across the trade. I've had one offer of drugs from a stranger in my entire life, and I've only seen cannabis openly being used once. Persoanlly I never saw the point of them.
All weekend the library computers weren't working properly. What a disaster. it seems the whole community is utterly dependent on the facility and hordes of disappointed library-goers left the building despondently for two days, including me, aklthough in fairness I was a bit angrier than most.
When the problem emerged on the saturday morning, it was my least favourite librarian on duty. He makes a big show of trying to be helpful, but when you actually ask him for help, the answer is always
The health service is determined to prove I'm not well. As part of their quest to put me under the micropscope I've been asked to attend some strange scanning session. Apparently it's another excuse for that young lady nurse to daub me in gel. I can't wait.
Thing is though I keep hearing complaints that the health service can't deliver this or deliver that. I must be honest, as someone who's never needed much in the way of treatment, I haven't noticed any problem at all. So what's the deal?
Many years ago I promised a flight in a cessna to one of my workmates. Having already booked an aircraft, I received a telephone call from the flying club telling me that the aeroplane had lost oil in flight. Indeed it had. I saw the little Cessna 150 parked at the back of the hangar with a brown windscreen, a sort of dusty and fly-filled gunge across the plexiglass curve.
No matter. They promised me another airworthy machine that was more or less the same. I shouldn't have any problems. Yet
I like September. here in Britain under our ever-warming climate its become a respite, a chance to relax. The humid thunderstorms of the August rain season are passed, and the gales of October are yet to arrive. The air is cool and the sun warm.
Its not just me. I do notice other people are more relaxed too. I pass employees quietly sitting in the sunshine outside their workplaces without any of the insidious mickey-taking of passers-by. i wonder if this has to do with kids going back to sch
Now I know I'm getting old. How do I know? Well sit down comfortably and I'll begin.
Exhibit A is a pretty ordinary computer printer, an cream coloured plastic box with a couple of slots and a mind of its own. Even when plugged in, it sits there resolutely doing nothing. Somewhere on the featureless surface of the box is a button that brings this reluctant technological wonder to life.
Somewhere...
I know there's a 'start' button on this thing...
For a moment, I nearly resorted
For some strange reason I woke bright and early this morning. For a reason probably easier to understand I wobbled dangerously as I overconfidently got out of bed. Oh well, start as you mean to continue.
As usual I made a brief glance out the window to check what sort of weather awaits me today. The horizon was buried under thick grey clag, a sort of dark fog, and at first sight it looked as if I was expecting a very damp morning.
By the time i was washed, dressed, and ready to take on t
Friday was a quiet unassuming sort of day. Not really suprising since the bulk of the population were either glued to their television sets or heading for the hills in a desperate attempt to avoid watching yet another wedding video. So we had a sort of hazy murky day that never quite made up its mind what it wanted to do about Britains latest extravanganza.
Ricky Is At It Again
I see Ricky gervais has been giving us all the benefit of his well paid opinion. I shouldn't really criticise
What a morning. As per my usual ritual, I wander down to the library to log on and contact the world out there. I know there is one. I visited it a couple of times.
As it happened, I was furst up the stairs - the security guard was craeless and opened the gate two minutes early. Right then, choose a PC, enter my number.... password... Number 19 in the queue to log on. What?!!!
I amuse myself by tapping on the desk. Wow... Sir Alan Sugar is sat in the cubicle next to me. Seriously, the re
According to the news, there's a record number of people being given counselling to make them give up being gay and go straight.
You know, I can't help feeling all this gay stuff is just ridiculous. To be fair, I don't know a lot about it (don't want to, it sounds a bit undesirable to my traditionalist view) but having been on the receiving end of ignorant opinion depicting me as one of their number, I do have some sympathy for those that choose that lifestyle.
Thats the trick isn't it?
With a sigh I switched my computor off yesterday afternoon. Nothing to do with recalcitrant programs, impossibly tough game levels, or yet more analysis of the Tottenham Riots. It was the approach of the thunderstorm. In my experience, thunder and lightning invariably causes a blip in the electricity supply when it hits the pylons that criss-cross our local area, and that can spoil your whole day when your data vanishes into digital smoke.
So I retreated to my favourite seat with a good book
Mr Palmer, the leader of East Lindsey District Council, is unhappy. Strange lights have been seen in the Midlands sky for a while now, and now a turbine blade from a wind generator tower has been ripped off near his turkey farm. He wants the authorities to look into the recent UFO activity and in particular the damage they caused to one of our turbines.
The Ministry of Defence however has shown absolutely no interest in the goings-on, telling us that they won't investigate unless they percei
I dropped down to the library this morning... Whaddaya mean you thought I might?.... anyway, I turned up a little earlier than normal and although the foyer was open, the rest of the building was closed off with a folding door. The security guards religiously open this barrier three minutes after opening time, every day. This morning it seems even that task was too onerous. No guard was in sight.
Eventually a pair of librarirans bravely decided to open for business. They went into the small
The car roars across the desert. Fast paced action and immediate editing. A robot-like individual steps off his Harley Grav-bike and asks a tussle-haired young man standing fresh faced and breathless before him...
"Who are you?" (Always a good intoduction I think. Find out you the tussle haired kid is before he mugs you and sprays tags over your grav-bike)
"James Tiberius Kirk!" The young man responds with film actor defiance. No. Surely not. Star Trek has evolved toward the lowest possi
With rain looming on the horizon I was pleased to see a bright sunny morning. Since my first task of the day was another visit to the programme centre, I decided to take advantage of the good weather and take a stroll up the alleyway rather than down the hill.
By this time of year the undergrowth should be starting to bulge along the fence marking the boundary of the old college site. So far there's precious little of it, and instead it looks as if the alleyway has been cleared of foliage.
