After a week of intensive forklifting that saw me spending most of it twiddling my thumbs in a dingy office, I can finally relax a little. Truth is I'm shocked how tiring I found it. Getting up early, walking to and fro from work, leaping on and off heavy and potentially dangerous industrial machinery, and worst of all, braving the queues at the local fast food takeaways for lunch.
KFC weren't bad I suppose. They did point me toward the 'loser corner' seeing as I look like a neanderthal in a
I wonder what would happen if the worlds population was decimated by a sudden deadly plague? Its not a pleasant thought. Without the restrictions of an ordered society, opportunism and lawlessness would rapidly take hold. A guy I knew at work once told me that since he knew all about nature and the wilderness and stuff, come the revolution he would survive. You know what? I doubt it. He might have an advantage - assuming he really does know something, and assuming he's actually had some practice
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Caldrails Top Ten Show, where the latest hits are revealed to the unsuspecting audience.. Counting down to this weeks number one...
10 The Veronicas Untouched
What a mess. A mix of this, that, something else, and I'm not sure if the band knew they were playing the wrong gig.
9 Dizzy Rascal Bonkers (Down 3 places)
Can't say I ever liked Rap music. Can't honestly say I like this one, even if it does have a sense of humour and no-one gets shot in a drive-by. St
There's only word for it - gutted. Miss T has decided that our friendly department store isn't for her and she's arranged to get work experience at another one. So it looks like I won't be flirted with for the time being. Funny how you only miss these little interactions when they vanish. Never mind. I'm sure she'll make up for lost time at our next session together.
You see, that's how to survive the dreary tedium of joblessness.... Get a blonde to flirt with you. Works for me.
Ousted
I woke up this morning to bright sunshine yet again. How much longer can this go on for? We brits aren't used to good weather. Extended bouts of sunny days makes us go all loopy, doing daft things like jumping off bridges into dangerous rivers, slowly roasting ourselves where-ever we find a spot to lie down, and discovering how far you can stretch fashion before foreigners are visibly nauseous. I have an uncontrollable urge to buy bottles of cheap cider and watch the world go by. Hang on... What
Rumours of tax rises are doing the rounds. Just what we needed. Now that food has become more expensive, petrol more expensive than ever, and energy prices attempting to land on the moon.
When Tony Blair got Labour into power with white grins and visions and promises of turning over a new leaf, what did we get? A Labour Party with a sneakier gameplan. Instead of taxing people in their wage packets, lets spread the taxes into new territory like pensions, insurance, and travel. When we complai
I woke this morning to that dull white glow through the curtains. I knew that meant snow. Well it was no suprise - the warnings had been made regularly on tv for the last couple of days. What felt strange though was the curious lack of rumble. There was no background noise of passing cars, nor was the house shaking as lorries rumbled past.
Walking down to the library, Swindon is deathly quiet. There's hardly any tire tracks in the snow, which is merely a surface covering, albeit a very slipp
The problem with blogs is that there's a tendency to reveal too much. There's been a warning recently about people giving away information on social networking sites that a fraudster or a burglar could use.
I own a large vicious dog by the way, just in case that's of any use to you. If not, you can always smile at the cameras.
But more to the point, something else has gone beyond a joke in my life and whilst there's a self impiosed limit on family news to be made public, I think it's tim
During an interview in 1966, John Lennon expressed his opinion that Christianity was dying and that the Beatles were more popular than Jesus. Not in South America it seems because they banned airplay of their albums until 1971. Nor was the American 'Bible Belt' particularly impressed. Their records still sell even today and whilst their popularity as a band may have faded compared to that of Jesus, we still have a legacy of music to enjoy.
It's interesting to study the way their image was pr
I have now finished my six months with New Deal, which means I get a new claims advisor, so at last I don't have to suffer that loathsome woman. She tried today to put a vacancy under my nose that I'd already discussed and decided was untenable. When I mentioned we'd already discussed that one, there was a flash of anger across her face. She very nearly went into another display of bovine outrage.
Another thing is that recently I applied for a job being handled by a recruitment agency. I rea
Once more unto the Job Centre, dear friends, once more...
Apart from my regular signing days I sometimes get called in to attend a more serious interview. I think that's just in case I've charmed the pants off my advisor and get away with all manner of shenanigans. As if. Most of the time I feel one step away from a cancellation of payments and believe me, the Job Centre's do that on purpose. Maybe it's right that they should in that claimants shouldn't get too attached to claiming the dole
After my daily stint at the library it was time to pop down to the supermarket for a few items to keep my stomach from rumbling. The street was busy as usual - Ooh look, there's that woman sat at the cafe opposite, staring at me again. Either she's an investigator for the Department of Work and Pensions (Ridiculous but these fantasies make my day so interesting) or she's stalking me (I'm going to find boiled bunnies in my flat before long - I just know it). It might just be I got up this morning
Monday morning... Usually the Monday Blues are associated with dragging yourself out of bed to go to work, but since I'm unemployed, you'd think that wouldn't apply to me. Oh but it does. For today is my Signing On Day, my fortnightly ritual aimed at convincing the authorities that I've something toward getting a job thus entitling me to receive my meagre handout from the government. Typically for a Monday the good weather has vanished with the weekend. It's damp and grey out there. What a miser
According to Jeremy Clarkson, the demise of the supercar is nigh. His romantic goodbye to petrol-guzzlers on Top Gear nearly had me bursting into tears. What is life, without passion? Let's face it, those ultra-eco-safe hybrid cars are about as passionate as yesterdays warmed up breakfast. There's something horribly socialist about the modern world. It's even showing signs of communist mediocrity and conformance. The world want drivers to be slow, safe, and silent.
On the one hand, I have to
Way back in the days before musicians were obselete and I was optimistically expecting to be a famous rock drummer any minute later, I must have played hundreds and hundreds of gigs back-to-back all over England. Funny thing though is only once do I remember being offered drugs.
In that particular case I was guarding the mixing desk before a gig at the infamous London Road Hall in Bath, a fetid amber-shaded place whose clientelle seemed to compose mostly of rival drug dealers and their wooll
As Tuesdays go, this was not a good one.
Let's see... What happened today?
Erm... Not much...
Oh hang on - I did burst into song first thing this morning!
My Italian Tenor Moment
Just one more carton
Give it to me
Fantastic fashions
From Italy
I want - to look my best
So give me that carton
And bu-u-u-u-rn the rest
Proof of God
Yes - in the desolate wastes of the stockroom, isolated from human contact and with nothing but navel gazing to keep us from devolving into fis
More developments under way in Swindon. There's something peculiar going on. Our old hospital was pulled down a couple of years ago and a new one built two or thee miles out in the country. The old police station was pulled down more or less at the same time and that too has been replaced by a station miles out in the country. Doesn't anyone want to work in Swindon any more? Or is this some fiendish plot to get people to use buses?
An article in our local paper unveiled plans for the redevel
The British weather is an endless source of comment. When you want to start a conversation in Britain, you always begin by asking how good or bad the weather has been of late. Yes, it's been pretty good these last couple of days. Hot sun, light winds, but yesterday afternoon?
It poured with rain. Those unlucky enough to still be out and about trudged past my home in a state of abject misery, their clothes two shades darker and dripping wet. I do have sympathy of course. I've been caught out
There's been some new fossiles found in China. That part of the world seemes particularly fertile in dinosaur remains doesn't it? I wonder why? Was the ara absolutely teeming in life back in past ages, or was it simply muddier and thus more got preserved? Anyway, they've found some new bird-esque species older than archeopteryx (the famous half bird/half dinosaur fossil recovered from Germany donkeys years ago) so once again the news headlines are full of Scientists confirm birds evolved from di
Yesterday channel is rather like Discovery, except they avpoid 'shark week' and instead show programs about Nazi's. Sometimes though you do get a decent documentary. I remember seeing one on the Flying Tigers in China that was something I didn't know much about (That's a group of american aviators in World War Two, not some rare breed of aerial carnivore, in case you wondered the Chinese were sniffing suspicious substances).
On the bright side, Yesterday is showing the Colditz series. I reme
Swindon gets a lot of stick. It rains, it's boring, it's a no-go area for the fashionable. yet even one of our foremost critics, BBC's very own Top Gear, sometimes destroy cars just up the road from our undesirable borough (and show some magnificent views of Barbury Castle in the last episode. Come on guys, show some culture). So far however I have failed utterly to go hiking and walk past Wroughton airfield while they're filming. It's only a matter of time, chaps.
Joking aside, there are se
Libraries are places that require a quiet atmosphere. Its very easy to be distracted and since the whole point of a library is to provide educational material, with too many distractions its difficult to educate yourself.
The day-care centre facilities are a case in point. Young children like to run about, throw tantrums, and generally cry for attention, not to mention inspire adults to hold impromptu singing lessons. I spent one hour on the library computer with somebodies child threatening
Usually I pass through a supermarket checkout with little interaction. Do I have my own plastic bags? Do I have a nectar card? Twelve pounds sixty five please Sir. For the most part, these women are bored out of their tiny boxes and the quicker they can push you through the tills the better, or so it seems. It isn't always that bad. Sometimes I make a lame joke and they politely smile. You get the feeling they've heard me say that one a couple of times before.
Yesterday the woman on the till
Sunday dinner with the folks is something I don't mind enjoying. There's a familiarity in the cooking, something I've known since birth, and to be honest, with my parents getting older I do prefer to keep a eye on them. I find it heartbreaking to watch these people I've always known slowly shrivel and weaken. Deep down, I know it will happen to me too.
But in between the persistent medical disorders and the increasing clumsiness there are moments of levity. Sat at the table munching away, m
Today I thought I'd upload a few pics taken from my back window. Vistas of weather and early evening sunshine. I like them.
I've Been Fired!
My job searching course has now changed. Instead of two sessions a week of two hours each, I now have to wade through a single four hour marathon of trawling through endless internet job sites looking for jobs within reach. Given the average attention span of a human being past his teenage years is a maximum of twenty minutes, I think you can understan
