Buckingham Palace isn't happy. The climate is changing. And Prince Charles is dumbfounded by sceptics of Global Warming.
Look Your Highness, it really is very simple. There are a lot of people claiming CO2 is destroying the planet. It isn't. The CO2 cycle is almost as old as the planet itself, and for most of Earths history, the level of CO2 in the atmosphere was way above what we have today by orders of magnitude. CO2 has been rising again for millions of years, long before we invented dark
It was quite a dull day yesterday. The only highlight was a woman dressed as an indian squaw as I was leaving the library. Naturally I looked at her as if to say 'What on earth are you doing?'. She was talking to a security guard at the time. He chats up all the women downstairs - I guess that's a perk of his job - but as soon as she realised I was standing there, she forgot him, smiled, and tried to shove a Walt Disney pamphlet in my hand. That's what you get for asking I suppose.
Dull Weat
My second battle has been fought. I went to the bank to have my title changed and curiously enough, the somewhat bored bank clerk merely sighed, dismissed my certificates and patents with "Yeah I've seen it" and promptly did the necessary changes on the screen. That was painless, though he wasn't any more impressed than anyone else. Guess he sees it all the time...
Now it didn't go all my own way. There's a load of notices and pamphlets at our local council that tell us they're keen on publi
There's a chap who works on the shop floor who sometimes comes up to grab stock from us. The sort of guy who's completely grey. He just doesn't intrude on the senses at all, In fact, I wouldn't mention him at all if it wasn't for his party trick of exhaling smoke. No, seriously he does, without a cigarette, dark grey smoke billowing out of his lungs. It looks utterly bizarre. KS spotted it today and we had a banter about this strange phenomenon.
Not only do we have a ghost on the premises, b
It's the Easter weekend and of course that means today is a bank holiday. Is it just me or is this extended weekend something less than it should have been? There was a time when bank holidays were an event. Families migrating to the coast and spending the day parked on a motorway waiting for the queue of traffic to move forward another few feet. Or the thrill of the obligatory James Bond movie. You just don't get that excitement these days.
So I suppose I'll pull a can from the fridge and
The gas bill arrived this morning. For the first time since I moved in nearly eight years ago, I've made a loss on that particular service. Worse still, the supply company have automatically doubled my payments. I can't afford to pay that much. My benefits don't cover domestic bills. It seems a bit odd in a way but all I get is Jobseekers Allowance plus Housing Benefit, and I have to pay for everything out of those two sources, which has never left me with a huge profit but now energy prices are
The Broadband Tax is almost upon us. The government wants internet connections to every home and because companies won't lay cables in the non-profitable regions of England (amounting to a third of the territory) we all have to pay for everyone elses connection besides our own. The tax apparently applies to anyone with a phone line whether they like it or not.
As a benefit claimant, that's asking me to fork out a third of my monthly profit to help some family in the boondocks enjoy the world
"It's our last week" Claimed KS. Not only does he fail to understand how a baseball cap should be worn, he also can't count. So convinced was he of this final week at our work placement that we all thought he was right, managers included. Today the issue was sorted as my boss went off to the office and returned with confirmation that we all have another week to run.
Good news for J, who had to take the day off work because it's his girlfriends birthday (Full marks there J). He was so keen on
What a day! Glorious blue skies and sunshine. I'm in a good mood, the young lady leaning out of her upstairs window smoking wasn't in the mood to criticise me when I walkd past, the ginger cat rubbing against the brick wall didn't run away, and this has to have been the quietest saturday night for a long time.
Apart from the usual renditions of the 'F' word up until three o'clock, but hey, kids like to play don't they? All those tiny little dramas were played out on the street again last nig
For those unaware of the panic in Britain, we've been increasingly concerned about gas and road salt. With only six days of gas supply left, Frozen Britain came perilously close to actually happening. Except of course the government have denied a problem exists. That's original.
Road salt though is also getting scarce, so surfaces have been prioritised with regard to need. Many roads and pavements no longer qualify, and everything gets 25% less scattered on top. In order to meet this shortag
I happened to spot a book at my local library today, memoirs of a man named Alfred Williams, who was born in 1877 and spent twenty years in the Great Western Railways workshops in Swindon. It seems that he was a man who enjoyed the Great Outdoors more than the hellish graft of his daily grind (literally). In his own words...
One has to die before his mates in the shed would think there is anything the matter with him. Then, in nine cases out of ten - especially if he happens to be one of the
Today it was back at the work experience program, my very own infant school for out of work adults. It's an interesting experience because with each week the boredom level is clevery designed to increase to mind numbing tedium, so that the workplace actually becomes interesting. We all sat around playing Scrabble. No, really, we did, until the well-meaning advisor brought along a dictionary and proclaimed half our words out of bounds. Young T immediately upset the game board to show her displeas
Today was a little dull at work. It always is when you know the weather outside is bright and sunny (mostly because the managers are away enjoying it thus they're not directing your efforts). So I spent much of the day restacking piles of cardboard boxes. Another thrilling day in my life.
However, I noticed some of the odd architectural features of the stockroom. The long dark alcove behind the air conditioning ducts. The empty room beside the fire escape that the stairs don't quite reach. I
Half past eight? The interview slot was a bit suspicious but that's the time printed on the notification. As it turned out that's the new opening hours of the Job Centre. A few waifs and strays like me silently congregated in the small plaza outside in varrious states of dishevellment. Personally I just couldn't be bothered to dress tidily at this hour of the day and for my part turned up looking like a vietnam POW. The security guard opened the doors and we all sauntered in.
Android Lady a
Funny how things are never quite what they seem. A couple of nights ago I was watching a documentary about that big Live Aid gig of all things. You know the one? Bob Geldof leading the worlds response to the plight of starving Ethopians in 1985 by staging huge charity gigs in stadiums both in Britain and the US?
The most interesting thing I learned was how ramshackle the organisation was. The whole event nearly collapsed under its own weight, never mind the attitude of some eclectic individu
The weathermen keep threatening downpours, they keep on showing amber triangles on the television news, but every day just lately (apart from one exception) starts out fine and sunny. Like today for instance, though that has meant I had to pull the blinds down at the library so that I can actually see what's on the computor monitor.
Pull the blinds down? Lucky for me Dragon Lady wasn't on duty, especially since I'm sat ten feet in front of the helpdesk. That did however provide me with a gra
I've just sat down to write up this mornings blog entry. The weather is pretty good again. A woman stopped me yesterday in town and couldn't help discussing what a nice day it was. What a nice lady. Todays there's a hazy sunshine with some bands of high altitude stratus cloud in the distance, looking a sort of pale pink and grey against the cyan sky.
There's also something else. Swindon lies under air traffic routes so the contrails of airliners moving back and forth across the Atlantic are
Some years a Cessna took off from Edinburgh. The pilot was giving his girlfriend a joyride in the local area. Unfortunately the pilot left his radio on 'transmit' which made it impossible for air traffic control to contact anyone on that frequency for more than an hour, during which personal conversations and long periods of intimate silence were heard.
What astonishes me is not the application to join the Half-Mile-Club, but that he succeeded in intimate relations within the very cramped co
Some bright individual has now decided that society would be a better place if there was zero rubbish. What a wonderful image. Almost reminds you of those whitewashed cottages hiding in the midst of verdant rose gardens. Don't see many of those these days. I think they fell into disuse about the same time Ealing Studios went bust.
The trouble is of course our beloved socialist government, who now have the power to enter your home and arrest you for littering it. These days we're not even all
The local paper is full of stories relating to the austerity measures our coalition government are pushing through. So far the main concern of residents appears to be crime, and whether a reduced police force is going to maintain law and order. There's another article worrying about how the young people of Swindon are going to cope with cuts in services. Probably by taking advantage of the reduced police presence I shouldn't wonder.
Because Of Pay Cuts
This morning I perused the libraries c
A quick jog through Lawns and it's back down to the library for my usual net-fest. I arrived before the inner doors were opened. The security guard, as usual, waited with professional calm for the exact second to stroll toward the locks, and I do suspect he enjoys the process immensely. It doesn't really matter of course, there's still a selection of books available for perusal and... Hello... What's that notice board over by the window?
It seems our councils have decided to pursue another m
Sunday morning... Time once again to step over the casualties of last nights binges and make my way to where I sit now, typing out this blog entry. What struck me was how quiet everything was. A solitary electric tool echoed in the back streets on the west side of Swindon hill, whining away with it's owners delirious need to reduce his untidy house to matchwood. Oh sure the church bells were trying to keep christians occupied on their day off but for some odd reason it didn't seem as intrusive a
For the first time this year I've had the fan plugged in. I can't claim this is a momentous event but it does show that despite regular good weather of recent months it hasn't actually been all that warm. Neither is today all that hot, rather an uncomfortable warmth that makes the air feel heavy.
My little fan is a reliable machine. I haven't quite sunk the depths of sadness by giving it a name or having one-sided conversations with it, but after twelve years of faultless service, I think it
I knew it was a bad omen. As I came into the library this morning there was a horde of children all sat cross-legged in a crescent, completely blocking the stairs... excuse me... just passing through... Ooops, sorry kid....
Ok. Up the stairs.... Woah! Didn't expect the hidden trapdoor opening onto a bottomless pit... But its ok, an old lady offers me a whip to grab on to. I wander along the long forgotten aisles of dusty books.... Walking in front of a beam of sunlight, spears extend from t
Sometimes I wonder if falling over is a communicable disease. A former boss, DS, has long demonstrated a complete inability to stay on her feet, drunk or sobre. It seems I'm starting to show signs of the same affliction.
My task for the day was simple. I have one of those desktop lamps that doesn't have a bulb to fit it. So I set off with the aim to find a suitable light bulb with which to illuminate the darkened recesses of my hovel. Unfortunately the lamp happens to be one of those old Woo
