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Making Excuses

caldrail

Entry posted by caldrail

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As an unemployed person I have to say there are one or two disadvantages to being on the dole. One is that everyone else think you're a lazy good for nothing sponging off the state, the second is that your Claims Advisor thinks you're a lazy good for nothing sponging off the state.

 

She called my name out and as I stepped forward to her desk, she raised her eyebrows at my suntan. Fresh from my journey home from Newcastle a few hours earlier I looked like I'd spent the weekend on a tropical beach. It must be said, the weather on our weekend in Newcastle was glorious. Somehow, I doubt my excuse will be.

 

"Hello Mr Caldrail. You alright?"

 

Ummm.. Yeah... Bit tired... She looked straight at me with that maternal 'I know you've been naughty' look. And it works. I closed my eyes, sighed, and proceeded to explain my naughty weekend. It was a roman history field trip. I guess thats not the usual excuse is it? Her expression hadn't changed. She pointed at my jobsearch record.

 

"What happened to that part time job?"

 

Which one? Oh... That one.... No, I got nowhere with it... It was that moment I realised what she meant. I glanced up in horror at the prospect of being blamed for working whilst receiving benefits. She had that maternal look of 'Don't lie to me Caldrail'.

 

No really, I was on a roman history field trip...

 

Excuse of the Week

Goes to Barry George, recently cleared of tv presenter Jill Dando's murder after eight years in jail. "I knew I was innocent" He said, "I was stalking someone else."

 

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docoflove1974

My mom's cousin is named 'Barry George'...don't like the guy, either. Not a stalker, more of a nincompoop.

 

As for your 'naughty weekend'...I'm guessing going on an educational (yes?) excursion is contrary to the unemployment office? Like, you're not allowed to converse with colleagues? Yikes...

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caldrail
:D No, but if you suddenly turn up with a suntan it means you've done something different, perhaps a holiday or a job outdoors. The claims advisors are quick to spot stuff like that.
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The Augusta

Telling the truth gets us no better thought of, Calders. I was once credited with the best excuse ever for being late for work.

 

On my way to the bus one morning, two little children ran up to me crying. I had to help them. There was a tiny kitten crying in the bushes.

 

Being of a feline-friendly nature I could not walk away and went to investigate. An abandoned little black runt, its eyes not yet open. I had to take it home and hand it over to my mother to keep safe until I returned from work. Needless to say, I missed the bus and had to get a later one.

 

I could have said I overslept, and the boss would have grinned and let me off. Telling him about the kitten, however, brought a frown and that terrible, piercing gaze that betrayed his utter disbelief.

 

We can't win, you know - we Honest Johns and Jills.

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