News From The Auntie
Entry posted by caldrail
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Oh hang a minute, my mobile phone is ringing. That doesn't happen very often these days. Hopefully it'll be an employer begging me to save their company from bankruptcy.... Nope... It's my aunt. You've never met her have you? No, I thought not. You'd know if you had because bless her cotton socks, she cannot stop talking.
"I've not used my mobile very often" She explained, "And I found your phone number on it. So I thought I'd give you a ring."
You see, this is how my family is. Anyway, it's too late, I've answered the call, so I'd better sit back, put the kettle on, and wait for oxygen starvation to make her pause for breath in fifteen minutes or so. It's like listening to a soap opera update. Somebody has dumped her boyfriend, someone's been trying t contact me, and the major news this time is an up and coming marriage for one of my relations down under. What? Another one? How many relations do I have down there? Good grief, they're breeding like rabbits...
My aunt wants to go there and celebrate but in fairness her health is not what it was. She's been asked to report any pain and suffering following a short spell in hospital, so she's not keen to be on the other side of the world when it happens. Maybe it's just me but I was under the impression that healthcare is indeed available in the Antipodes. In any case, all she has to do is tell them she's the aunt of Lord Caldrail. They'll send her home by private jet, surely? I mean, it's the only way they'll avoid a seventy two hour lecture.
Low Low Prices
On my way to the programme centre (What? Again? Oh yes - The Job Centre like it when you do something about your jobless status) I passed a billboard outside a fast food outlet. A burger for only
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