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Hey, Chillax Bro!

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caldrail

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As I sat down to type this entry, I was distracted by the sound of rain against the window. A heavy downpour from a grey sky. Yet earlier this morning it was such a fine morning. Chilly, for sure, but you'd expect that with open skies at this time of year and it was a noticeably colder night before.

 

Almost as soon as it arrived the squall subsides, leaving only overflowing gutters to drip water in long thin streams. In a whie it might be safe to go outdoors again.

 

During the sunshine this morning I bumped into DW, our intrepid online journalist. You never have to make any arrangement to meet him, ever, because sooner or later he's there, somewhere ahead of you, popping out of thin air like a Star Trek Away Team. Only without the silly nioses and special effects. So we had a little chat. Business, you understand, nothing for the world to know about, but just for you lot we discussed sex with young ladies. A good, healthy pursuit for all ages. Most of the time anyway.

 

Even earlier than that I was back at the Programme Centre being interviewed by one of the attractive young ladies. If ever there was a reason to stay unemployed, that was it. However despite my middle age randyness (some might say optimism) it was of course business. So it's bye for now and I wander off to lower my pulse rate.

 

Sometimes we need to relax. A sort of deep breath and clearing of the mind. Sometimes we have to chill out. Like relaxation, except you need to lounge in a much lazier fashion and wear dark sunglasses. Sometimes you need to be somewhere between. I would have called that cool, but DW, for whom relaxation is an alien concept, struggled with the idea and mangled his words, telling me he needed to "Chillax".

 

I have to say, I'm in a kind of chillaxed mood today. A new word in the english language has been created. Designed by DW, marketed by Caldrail. Go ahead. Stop what you're doing and chillax. You know you want to as well.

 

Chillax Man

I do not believe my eyes. Space Invaders? You mean that eighties arcade game is still out there? Even more astounding is that a guy in america has scored twice the previous high score made in 2003. Now there's a guy who serious likes playing computer games. Even the older boring ones. I hate to ask this, but is Mr Knucklez an older boring person too? At least in my case a social life is too expensive.

 

Jeez, Mr Knucklez, chillax. Or get a girlfriend. If you've forgotten how or never learned the appropriate social skills. I'm sure DW can give you a few pointers.

 

And Now?

The clouds have drifted by. The sun is shining again in a blue sky. Time for me to go about my lawful business and just chillax.

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I see that, once again, California is ahead of everyone...we've been using 'chillax' for about 5-10 years. No sunglasses needed, but a park or a beach works just nice.

 

Also in California: Santa Cruz Boardwalk, with the best arcade room ever. An entire wing of nothing but our favorite games from the 80s. I'll sit there and play PacMan for ages...but then the siren call of the pinball room calls my name. And the rest of the Boardwalk, too.

 

Methinks you need to come out here and claim your land, Lord Caldrail. Not that you'd be able to find many jobs, but you could also park yourself on a beach and let your mind go.

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Noooooooooo!!!!! All my dreams of taxing youths for using copyrighted words is crashing around my ears! But look on the bright side. I've thwarted the plans for Californian world domination. I guess it isn't over yet. Arnie will be back... ;)

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Feh, not hardly likely. He could run for Senate, but I have a strong suspicion that after the state of the State once he left office, it won't happen.

 

You can't stop us...you can only hope that the SiliValley geeks and Hollywood airheads stop multiplying...and that's not looking very likely. Thanks to Mr. Jobs and Mr. Gates, geeks have never had it so good!

 

On the other hand, I have dreams of running a winery. :)

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Actually I meant he would be crashing through my front door in a pickup truck stolen for the purpose, in a blind obsession driven by his inhuman programming to seek out his objective, and he will never, ever, stop. Or have I been watching too much Hollywood? Certainly haven't been emptying your wineries of late. Far too expensive ;)

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Meh, they're marking it up again...the wine, that is. Surely James May has taught you lot that there are a good amount of inexpensive stuff that we produce. Two Buck Chuck is the least of it! (Of course, the you got stupid Oz Clarke trying to get people to buy the $20-40/bottle stuff.)

 

As for Ah-nuld, he's too busy shooing off former nannies and working with his lawyers to see how much Maria is going to take ;)

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Everything wine shaped is too expensive for me. Sometimes I grimace, sigh, and pick up a bottle of cider for 99p. Life really is that bad :D

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Cider is something of a two faced coin here in Britain. There was a brief period in the late eighties when brewers tried to make it trendy (and thus charge four times the amount for my favourite tipple) but whilst 'fine cider' is sold alongside wines from around the world, cheap cider is usually considered the socially accepted drink of the park bench resident.

 

Pot noodles aren't very nice anywhere :D

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Oh good...here I was thinking that ramen noodles in the store somewhere were wonderful. :blink:

 

As for the cider, we have some amazing stuff, especially coming out of Oregon and Washington; I've heard others in New England are equally as good. They do tend to be about the same price as quality beer--say, $8/six-pack, or $4-5/pint at a bar--and I actually prefer them on many autumn nights. Widmer does both a pear and an apple hard cider, which are particularly good on tap.

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American cider? That's unheard of in Blighty. We've recently had tv ads for Cidre (note the spelling) which is Stella Artoia's version for cool trendy people who can't spell or bear the thought of drinking the same stuff as a down and out. Doomed to failure. Firstly it's cider by any other name, secondly it's french, which means every blue blooded englishman is autiomatically suspicious and thirdly, it'll cost too much. The beggars won't be able to afford it.

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