The worst historical movies in my mind are not at all recent. I haven't seen Troy and even though I saw Alexander it could never be as worse as these two were.
This was the worst movie I have ever seen in my life - no wait a sec that was Martin Luther, ok so I have three movies to tell of. This movie was made in the early 60's I think after Ben Hur and Spartacus were made. The movie is about 'Barabbis', the guy that Jesus took his punishment for. It mainly tells of what happened afterwords when he goes back to his old ways, but this time is faced with the guilt of the man that took his punishment for him. Well anyways he get's in trouble again with the Romans, and is sent to the mines in Sicily (near Mt. Etna). Where he remains for 20 long years. Now here is the funny part, after he manges to live 20 years in the dark mine caves he yet remains in almost perfect health (by now he is an old man). Now I ask myself, how can that be possible? Even if he manage to survive for that long he would not be in good health.
Afterwords a rich Roman couple on vacation come to the mines (because they have nothing else to do except look at sweaty slaves in mines lol). My memory fades here but they do pick up two people to train Gladiators and one of them a young man who has not even been in the mines for a year; and the other Barabbis. This is where I laugh again, why would any Roman want some old guy to be a Gladiator, not to mention one that has been there for twenty years. I can understand the younger one, he looked fit, but who were the writers trying to fool? A gladiator is an investment and the Roman couple were not like Proximo in Gladiator who made a living off of it. They would want the best for there money, not even I would invest a dime on a sixty year old man who lived in the mines for twenty years; no matter how strong.
I forget the rest afterwords again but Barabbis ends up free and Rome is on fire (this is the great fire of Rome). People are panicking on the street some people yell that it was the 'Christan's' and Barabbis being confused on where he stands with the religion; he goes and takes a torch and try to help in the burning screaming about 'God' and whatever. Then someone tells him that it was not the Christan's fault. Gah! I can't remember, this part is so dumb I forget it.
I was sixteen years old when I saw this movie (it has been a few years) and even then I knew how unrealistic dumb this movie was. This movie will even make Troy look good.
The second one is the sequel to 'The Robe' (yeas horrible sequels existed even back then):
Demetrius and the Gladiators
I'm not even going to go in detail about this one. Only for one scene in which I laughed at and still do.
It goes on after The Robe storyline, in which we follow the life of Demetrius the Greek slave that was saved by the Roman Tribune (can't remember his name). He is put in to service as a Gladiator (don't they all?). He ends up in the ring with another Gladiator who he is friendly with. They both decide that they do not want to kill each other but they have to at least put on a good show and they both will be spared by the Romans. They start to fight with each other, but there movements are slow and they can bairly swing their swords at each other. When they do try to hit each other, it is painfully obvious that they are trying to avoid one another. The fight is so bad that the Romans start booing; and I must add so did I, actually I was laughing too. I know it was meant to be like that, but did it have to be that bad? It was the worst fight scene EVER, I yet have to find something to compare it with. Words cannot say how bad it was; I cannot believe someone had the nerve to write out a thing like that!!!!
After the horrible fight Demetrius realizes that it won't do (ohh when did he realize that?). So he says to ....I can't remember who...maybe it was Caligula or someone else important. Anyways, he says, "I am a Christan and my religion forbid killing."
Anyways the movie consist of a mad Caligula who is obsessed with The Robe of Jesus, but is scared to touch it and demands it to be burned. The actor is trying too hard to be mad sometimes, but I think he is the only character that I can stand in the movie. Demetrius for some reason turns his back on Christianity and becomes a Tribune (don't ask me how, I tried very hard to forget this movie). He then gets into an affair with the Priestess of Isis (who is married). Then later turns back into a Christan when he finds himself. Then Caligula dies when a spear in thrown at him, and it is funny to remember a dead Caligula with a long spear sticking out of his chest.
I saw this movie in grade 12 history class, it was mind numbing. Almost three days of watching this movie, it hurts my mind remembering it. At the end of the movie everyone in my classes cheered, that's how bad it was. I am not even going to try and tell what the movie was about; at least the other two were amuseing in their own bad way, but this was worse. I do not recommend this movie at all to be seen, rather it should be burned. Think Alexander but worse, trust me I could stand Alexander even watch it again after seeing this.
I talk too much, all I hope was that in my ranting I made some sense. Most of these movies I saw when I was ether 16 or 17 and trust me after these three, I am careful to call any other movies bad; although Alexander came really close, too close.