Where to start? As one novelist once wrote, "at the start". Joining or forming rock bands as a teenager is something of an exercise in folly.
A chap I used to used to know at work would say it was all about acceptance, that by making yourself an entertainer, even at such a low level, you improve your popularity. He might be right. It would account for the endless stream of people who joined my bands only to wander away again when they found out they weren't going to be rock stars the day after
Earlier today I saw a young woman ambling from shop to shop, dressed in her chosen summer wear, totally at a loss to comprehend why it wasn't baking hot under a blue sky. It was as if rainfall was an alien experience to her. So either she's a seductress from another planet sent here to spawn a new super-race with us lowly earth-beings, or she's suffering the same limited memory span that most of us do. Yes, dear, sometimes it rains. Even in Swindon.
As it happens I think the rain is long ove
Every year the English go one better than spending a weekend parked on a Bank Holiday motorway. They go on their summer hols. I always find it remarkable that the English generally regard the rest of the world as their playground.
The most popular playground for many years has been Spain. Now up until now I always thought this was because Spanish hotels were so unfinished that it didn't matter if drunken English tourists wrecked them. We English do like to remind other countries of our victo
Cue upbeat theme music and close ups of scantily clad women between clips of Caldrail goofing
Hi there, and welcome to Eye on Rushey Platt. I'm your host Caldrail. In todays entry -
Did Miss L do that to her hair on purpose?
Why has AM been banned from his favourite library PC?
Does DS know I've heard her mocking me as she walks past my home on Friday night?
Is there any truth to the rumour that SB is about to get his revenge?
But first, a shocking new development down th
For the last couple of days the weather has been interesting. One minute the sun is out and everyone is relaxed. The next a massive spread of towering grey and white cumulus unleashes rainfall on the unsuspecting. I had to shelter in a doorway two days ago while one downpour opened up. Not only rain, but hail mixed in. Ten minutes later the clouds drifted away to reduce someone else to a drowned rat. Now I can go about my business again, safe in the knowledge that my school swimming certificate
So far this year I 've been no further up on the Marlborough Downs than Barbury Castle. Once the fog had lifted, I decided it was time. The call of the Downs is peculiar to those who know it. There's a strange sense of timelessness up there. At first glance it's nothing more than rolling hills, weatherbeaten stands of trees, and farmland, but then the isolation of the area gets you. I'm not the only one who finds the solitude of the Downs so engaging. There's a memorial stone to a hillwalker of
The Toyota Prius.
Heard of it?
Its that fashionable eco-car that celebrities buy to look like they actually care about the enviroment. Its the car that Top Gear entered in its Comedy Handling Competition. That Jeremy Clarkson gave to a cowboy to shoot with a .50cal heavy machine gun. Its slow, ugly, the seats are uncomfortable, and never does achieve the fuel economy that Toyota claim. Its also the car my father bought.
My father wants me to buy his Prius. A couple of years ago I thr
My usual Monday ritual begins at the Job Centre. Walk in, pass by the swarm of security guards as they appraise me for terrorist capability, and ascend the steps to my assigned floor where I sit and wait for an interview... And wait... This appears to be the latest wheeze designed to catch me out. No searching the database for vacancies, just sign and go after a long wait. Presumably this will lull me in to a false sense of laziness.
"Sorry to keep you waiting." The gentleman said as he led
For no apparent reason I came over all philosophical last night. The big question however was not life, the universe, & everything. Professor Brian Cox has cornered that market. Instead I had humbler questions to ask of myself. Like what is it that I look forward too?
Before anyone thinks I was getting depressed and feeling sorry for myself, that really isn't the case, so all you missionaries out there trying to make me believe I'm cursed, haunted, almost an alcoholic, or nearly a drug a
A couple of nights ago I watched a program on Channel 4 about some guy who wanted to see if he could survive on his own in verdant wilderness of the Yukon. It is still an area largely left to nature and the mountains, forests, rivers, and lakes create jaw dropping vistas of natural beauty, teeming with wildlife. His early optimism soon gave way to the ennui of solitary existence and the constant need to find food, however small and unappetising it may be. There was also the possibility of encoun
Yesterday I ran out of space on my job search card so it's down to the job center to ask for another. As expected there was a mass of bemused dole claimants milling around while harassed security guards do their best to sound important. Ok, here we go...
I brush past the lines of ex-car manufacturers and single mothers to confront a guard. Can I have one of these please?
"Wots that then?"
Its a job search record. I need a new one.
"Why do you need a new one?"
Ok. take a close
Has anyone been watching the Tour De France bicycle race this year? No, me neither, but I did catch that extraordinary accident on the news later that evening. A camera car swerves and takes out two or three competitors before driving off. You can sort of tell it's France because in Britain there'd be four police cars boxing the escaping driver in and cops hauling the driver onto the tarmac before cuffing him to exciting music and a witty comment on the voiceover. No really, I've seen it on Poli
Swindon as a town always had ambition. Once the railworks closed in the eighties, the town brought in investment and new business and was always pushing to be raised to 'city' status. Back in 1994, I flew over Swindon in a Cessna and was stunned at how much dereliction the town still had, much of it ex-railway land. Since then these brownfield sites have been developed.
More developments had been planned. Artists impressions of Swindons Brave New World have been published locally and present
A few weeks ago I had my keyboard in for repair. Now I have one that works, I decided it was time to invest in a stand for it. It isn't really for pose value at all, I'm more concerned about heaps of boxes all over the floor with long bundles of audio cables going back and forth. Far better, I think, to make my home a little safer by arranging to put my instrument to one side.
I've been to the local music store about this twice already. They've been a little unwilling to supply me with a sta
Greek and Armenian monks in Jerusalem have always argued over petty issues. Such is the religious significance of the site. A monk need only stand in the wrong place to incite a confrontation. the only difference this time is that it came to blows. The sight of monks and priests lashing out at one another in a holy riot isn't something we've seen since the Spanish Inquisition. Nobody expected that.
Christianity, in all its forms, likes the moral high ground. It presents a set of absolute rul
Yesterday, in a decision that only an englishman could make, I went out in the midday sun and visited Lydiard Park. The local council make a big deal of the work they've done there which was supposed to restore the grounds of Lydiard Manor to it's former magnificence.
I've got many photographs of Lydiard as it was. Secluded bayous, wooded paths, a warm natural patina. There used to be a waterside platform where you could look out across a small lake and view cranes resting on a dead tree in
Every so often we museum folk like to do something different. Some people might argue that museums are inherently dangerous with hazards that include customers, tyrannosaurus rex skeletons, or egyptian pharoahs with chips on their shoulders and enough bandages to cope. I would have to admit our little museum is a little less well stocked with such horrors.
Today we had Robot Day. Over the years there have been all manner of commercial robots available to the public. Some are clothed in fals
I've had a bit of an argument with someone. There's an american chappie on another website, who claims to be a pilot of fixed and rotary winged aeroplanes over fourteen years, who's said a few things that to me seemed casually ignorant. I do actually have some sympathy for Americans, I know they get a lot of stick, but then sometimes they really do ask for it and a few times in the past I've encountered their brash arrogance - or at least the behaviour we Brits see as such. I think sometimes the
Good afternoon readers, this is Caldrail, live at the grand opening of Swindons new library. I'm going to take you now inside this wonderful edifice and...
"Are you with the children?"
Huh? What? Do I look five years old? I've got grey hair for crying out loud.
"Sorry Sir, library opens at two..."
Two o'clock. Humph. Right. Well its back to the studio for news of Caldrails latest phone call with the police.
Phone Call of the Week
A message left by a policeman who said they'd
Early this morning, before first light, I trudged along the route to the test centre. It's located in small industrial estate (the map pointed at an alleyway a hundred yards further on) and as I turned the corner I spotted one of my trainee colleagues leaning against the wall, as the premises weren't open just yet.
As I got closer, I noticed he wasn't moving. Curious... Hello mate? How are you this morning?... No answer. He just leaned there immobile, well and truly asleep. Poor lad. I let
I passed a small advertisment the other. "Life After Death". Apparently if I pop down and attend the lecture I can learn all about what happens when biology stops working. They also claim I can discover the Meaning of Life. I doubt they have a gargantuan supercomputer that's been calculating the answer to life, universe, and everything for the last seven million years, so I kind of wonder where they get all this information from, but hey, who knows? Perhaps I was Julius Caesar after all.
At
For a while we've had some cracking weather, lovely and sunny. Today though its cloudy, damp from yesterdays rain, and to be honest, quite a bit cooler. In fact, as I strolled across town in the mid-day gloom I could see my breath.
Then again, things ain't too bad. The rain yesterday didn't amount to a cyclone sweeping Swindon downstream in massive mudslides or tsunami's. nor did an earthquake reduce my local school to an impromptu graveyard.
Nature can be fantastic. A fluke of the weat
Many years ago I wanderd into a pub, expecting genial conversation and relaxing with the other hustlers around the pool tables. On that particular afternoon, the pub was almost empty, and since I was the only person walking in, the scotsman drinking at the bar immediately engaged me in a chat.
Before long the conversation got to how brilliant Scotland was. Best country in the UK, best country in Europe, best country in the world. There was no stopping the man. As Scotlands first unofficial M
"Does anyone know anything about the Work Programme?" Asked the lady giving us our induction to what is a two year course aimed to return long term unemployed like me to the workplace.
Well there' been some horror stories circulating.
"Like what?"
That we will have to do 38 hours a week on our job searching.
"Oh no!" She chuckled, "That would be like a full time job wouldn't it?"
Exactly my thoughts. Well so far the programme seems very easy going, but I did hear hints that i
Apparently farmers in Sub-Saharan Africa will benefit from detailed digital maps of soil nutrient quality. At last they'll know why their farms are not doing well. Isn't technology useful? Perhaps not, considering the Skycar, a para-sailing dune buggy, currently setting out on a three thousand mile journey across Africa. These skycars are ridiculous. They proved it was a daft idea back in the fifties. Can you imagine the telephone calls from frustrated motorists?
"You have reached Traffic Co
