Swindon is a place of opposites. A place that is comfortable with its future but not with its past. A place that aspires to be a city but cannot free itself of a small town attitude. A place that is ribbed by comedians and... well... deserves to be. This paragraph alone probably puts me on a council ninja hit-list but I shall not be silenced.
I saw a letter in the local newspaper written by a concerned visitor. His Swindon experience was marred by the number of rats running round the old pla
The sunshine is glorious. It really is. Not a cloud to be seen and for a warm saturday surprisingly quiet in Swindon. You would think the place would be humming with people out to enjoy the day but apparently this isn't the case. I wonder why? Is it the recession? Has anyone got any money left after Gordon Browns Tax Police have slapped bills on everything that moves and almost everything that doesn't? Or is it the danger of collapsing walls at our plentiful building sites, following this weeks
The plumber was back early this morning. Apparently his previous repair hadn't solved the leaking water that my downstairs neighbour was so concerned about. He had every reason to be so, since it turns out the electrical wiring downstairs is uncomfortably close to the pipes. Anyway, the much harassed plumber rebuilt my bathroom in record time before I popped down to the library. Can't see any smoke coming from downstairs, so perhaps this time the problem is solved?
Playgrounds
The local pap
As I woke this mornign it was obvious the weather wasn't all too pleasant out there. Another rainy day? This has to be Swindon. The other day I was strolling home along the canal path. The weather was damp rather than rainy, a typical grey day for this part of the world. This being winter, green was in short supply. Most vegetation has withered away leaving pale yellow weeds and brown woody bushes.
Allotment gardens, our modern re-invention of the medieval vegetable plot, look little better.
Can you trust statistics? Anyone who watches the tv news or reads the papers every morning is bombarded with facts and figures, most of which are selected to prove a point. As a schoolkid I once had a maths leasson that illustrated how the display of statistics can affect your perception of the result.
The latest statistics about crime are in the news. Murders are down by 17% to a twenty year low, despite the shock horror stories about knife wielding kids stabbing crowds of teachers to death
Today has been my first day at the new warehouse. Poor old AD can't cope, there's no official office for us yet (Its a portacabin buried behind stock in another unit nearby) and he's got nowhere to plug in his fridge and microwave. Now there's a man with priorities. At the moment, our office is a pile of pallets shoved into one corner. Cool. Especially in winter...
And what a site! Its huge!! Enormous!!! They give you a map when you sign in at security and boy oh boy do you need it. Warehous
Seven months after he vanished from his Gloucester home Murphy the Gnome was found alive and well on his owners doorstep, along with a photographic record of his travels around the world. This heart-warming tale just goes to show there's more to gnomes than meets the eye.
Usually these quiet citizens of our front gardens don't travel at all. They lead a static existence, holding fishing rods and sitting there even in the worst inclement weather. They're good neighbours. They never get angry
The amber triangles are proudly displayed on the weather report again. This time it's not heavy rain and the attendant risk of flooding, but the arrival of this years first snowfall, which shouldn't affect Wiltshire as yet.
Nonetheless the temperatures are plummetting. This morning was no exception. I've resorted to gloves for the first this year. Even my claims advisor mentioned how cold it was. Hey, that was almost conversational.
Yesterday had one advantage. It was a bright sunny day,
Last year I attended a programme designed to teach jobseekers how to go about searching for a job. Yes, it really was that banal. The course was aimed at young people who had never worked before in their lives so for me, it was like being back at infants school.
One of the lads on the course at the same time was LB, whose penchant for stopping at Greggs (A high street bakery) o the way meant he never, and I mean never, arrived on time, though in fairness his light hearted attitude toward lif
That's it. Game over. I've lost all my data. Everything. Eight years work, lost in a moment of electrical fireworks.
It's official too. The data recovery people left me with backups of broken fragments and random folders full of files I've never seen before.
If this was merely an accident, a chance occurence, fate, or simply bad luck, well, what can one do?
If this was a deliberate act by someone somehow, then what was it for? What did they achieve? You can't create something positiv
Late last night I got bored with my struggles with computers that know more about information technology that I do. Technical stuff gets a bit dull when you get nowhere with it. Instead, I decided to chill out with a video game and discovered getting trashed by pixellated space aliens is no more interesting than arguing with my computer.
For a while I listened to the radio instead. An hour or two of classic rock, an hour or two of back to back adverts for stuff you'll never buy, and an hour
Today our jobseekers rehabilitation programme covered bullying. We discussed aggression, perception, and expression. Or at least, some of us did. In truth most of us are so bored of this programme by now we've all lost the will to live. Our ever cheerful resident sex change person tells us she(?) listened to the radio this morning. Surely life cannot get better than that?
In fairness to our advisors they decided to give us a treat today. We were going on an outing, a field trip, a visit to a
Ah yes... The scene in Douglas Adams Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy where Ford Prefect entices Arthur Dent away from saving his cottage from demolition and down to the local pub for an emergency last beverage before stowing away on a passing Vogon Destructor Fleet.
For those of you who haven't read my last entry (shame on you), May 21st is Vogon Demolition Day. That's today. yes, it's the end of the world. So I recommend everyone pops down the pub and thumbs for a lift from any UFO's in the
A long time ago, I was asked a simple but searching question. Robin Harrison was the aspiring guitar hero of Red Jasper who tried to seek enlightment having listened to my own angry hard rock riffs. Not because he thought he might learn something meaningful from my own interpretation on what constituted music, but rather because he couldn't understand why I was so utterly entrenched in one particular style. Especially since I was a drummer and therefore had no legal reason to be playing a musica
At some point, somehow, I must have upset my neighbour downstairs. I can tell what mood they're in generally by listening, given how much noise goes through the floorboards. Yep, he's slamming doors in the early morning. That means he's had hardly any sleep last night and wants me to wake up too. It's like living with a cantakerous alarm clock that speaks a foreign language.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard you. Oh good grief it's not even nine o'clock yet. Time to roll over, shut those eyes, and
Even as late as last night the weather map on television was not encouraging. Great swathes of bright blue covered southern england and that means rain. Wet weather is a fact of life in Britain. British tradition is to start conversations with strangers about the weather. Our country is famous for getting wet. I'm not quite that famous, but I do get wet now and then myself.
The promised downpoor has already passed us by. It's still damp and grey out there, but most people are plodding around
Today I made another visit to my local surgery. All part of keeping the Grim Reaper at arms length. Nothing much to report, just a routine visit, and despite not feeling completely fit as a fiddle, I'm not suffering in any real sense.
By coincidence I spotted a news article teling us fifty-somethings how to stay in the front line against the Grim Reaper. Sort of like a survival manual for grey haired old codgers. Who knows? Maybe there's a few tips I could use?
Tip number one. Keep Chec
Ask yourself what sort of weekend you had. Mine was windy. That's probably because october is Swindon's Windy Season anyway, but I guess most of the country were experiencing blustery conditions as well. Nonetheless I was bored so venturing out on the saturday night was definitely on.
Getting drunk is a bit expensive these days. So much so that landmark pubs are being demolished here in Swindon. There are two closed premises just down the road from me that are going to be turned into flats i
Boy oh boy am I in a bitchin' mood. I guess you too sometimes feel that when the world reveals itself as being layered in pooh, which if you think about it, happens to be pretty much the case. But I'm not interested in your woes right now. This is my blog you know.
Among the many comments and appraaisals I've received of late is the opinion that I'm not funny. Oh. Sorry about that. It depends on your sense of humour of course, but it hasn't escaped my notice that the very same people who acc
My trainers are damp. There's a sort of cold wet feel to them. Yes, you're right, I got soaked. Yesterday I ventured out to find a certain seminar venue and with the weather looking like drizzly showers, I decided it might be wise to take a baseball cap with me. Oh, yes, and a rain resistance jacket. You never know. These survival items really should be made compulsory for everyone risking their lives in exploring the rainforests of Darkest Wiltshire.
It started drizzling not long after I se
Today we discuss the subject of fantasy. I don't mean pictures of naked women in silly positions (though I imagine the people who like those sort of images rely on fantasy more often than not) nor getting dressed in medieval style clothes and running round ruined castles with rubber swords. No, I have other things in mind.
In the wake of the shocking explosions in Norway, the media have been keen to show photographs of the perpetrator dressed like an all action special agent. It does illustr
Its almost impossible to escape the news that the global banking system is wobbling. Governments are stepping in and in some cases, falling out (I refer to Britain freezing Icelandic assets over concerns about the amount of british money held there).
One chap contacted the news team and said that forty years ago he needed an interview with his bank manager for a loan of
As you might have guessed, I spent last night watching Monty Python's third film, The Meaning Of Life, definitely the least funny of the three, and perhaps proof that Life isn't fun? Certainly the town I live in has tried to tell us its a great place to live ever since the railworks, our very own dark satanic mill, closed for business. Yet Swindon always seems so meaningless.
It does seem a little coincidental that I've chosen to discuss the Meaning of Life, especially since I seem to have s
Sunday morning is a time when we survey the damage left by late night revellers. A womans shoe is on the pavement, a sure sign that Cinderella went to the ball and decided that Prince Charming wasn't charming enough. Not really suprising since he and his mates were drunk, engaging in a singing competition in which random lyrics are put to random melodies and may the loudest voice win. Every week this goes on. Where's Simon Cowell when you need him?
At any rate, Cinderella was probably on a g
I've always said that you can tell a lot about someone by the way they enter a room. DW, our intrepid reporter for the online wiltshire magazine, always seems to enter a room without having to open the door. That's quite a classy entry and frankly I'm envious. My personal battles with doors are the stuff of legend.
It turns out that DW has just interviewed a celebrity for his website. I've never heard of her before but I 'm sure she's very famous. Yet no sooner had I poured scorn on his late
