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Apologies for Autumn

caldrail

Entry posted by caldrail

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Autumn is here all of a sudden. The weathergirl apologised last night and told us so. Very nice of her, but to be honest I was expecting it. The air is a little colder than a few weeks ago, the leaves a bit yellow, a and sure enough, its starting to get windy.

 

Not quite as windy as the hurricanes that hit Taiwan recently, nor those of any other areas such as southeast america, but I remember a time when we didn't get this high winds as a matter of course every year.

 

I suppose I could blame global warming, but then, if trees are still shedding leaves in autumn its a sign we're still going to get cold in winter. Which means I shall have to pay my heating bill. It arrives with a thud on the floor and its very polite, telling us how sorry they are for charging me two or three times as much as before, and that they're always willing to listen to customers who get into debt.

 

That makes me feel so much better.

 

Inspection of the Week

Goes to a surveyors office who want to inspect my flat for 'energy efficiency'. They apologised to me for the inconvenience over the phone but could they break down the door in the next five minutes please? Somehow, I think this government initiative is taking the mick just a little, since its fairly obvious they want the data to establish another tax.

 

I wonder how energy efficient an unemployed person can be?

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docoflove1974

*knock knock knock*

 

"Good afternoon, Mr. Caldrail. We're here on behalf of the energy company. Did you know that you have weaknesses in your energy efficiency? It's true, and you must do something about it! Yes, we've already talked to your landlord about it, and have told him that he MUST fix your apartment; either that, or we'll tax him, which I'm sure will be passed onto you. Now, don't you fret, Mr. Caldrail, we'll take care of everything if you want us to, for a modest fee. So, just sign your rights away here, and initial here, and again here, and you'll be all set! Oh, you don't mind us here for a few hours, making holes, plugging others, and showing off an amazing plumber's crack, do you?"

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The Augusta

And has no one noticed how interactive Autumn has become this year? It wishes to announce its dreary wet presence on an intimate level. On Monday, I went to lunch late, and Autumn knew it! It was so filled with artificial intelligence that it nodded to the skies at the exact moment I was walking up to Sainsbury's in Hazel Grove. The result was a drenched, cold, shivering medical secretary who swore a lot.

 

I thought I could defy the little devil by putting off my journey home for an hour. Whilst I was on the bus, Autumn behaved itself, painting the dusk with gold and all sorts of anthropomorphic nonsense. But as soon as my foot alighted in Manchester, the heavens lowered and a deluge ensued. The result was a very wet, and by this stage, tired medical secretary, who swore even more.

 

Today, I was clever. I took an umbrella. Autumn, however, decided to sport with me by employing gusts of wind, thus countering my little unilateral tortoise formation. The result.... yes, you've guessed it.

 

And it used to be such a nice season - ask John Keats!

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caldrail
The result was a very wet, and by this stage, tired medical secretary, who swore even more.

I think the rotten little cloud that usually drenches me has gotten bored. Don't swear it at it, it'll only drench you again, the mischievious cumulus knows no mercy :D

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