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Lost_Warrior

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Blog Entries posted by Lost_Warrior

  1. Lost_Warrior
    Hehe got 2 or 3 more inches of draw length on my bow...my arrows (the ones made for my compound) are almost too short now I don't think I'll be pulling it back any further than this though...I'm surprised how fast my arms are getting stronger (and also that I have absolutely no stiffness from it...which IMO is really amazing). Arrows still keep going to the left most of the time though...can't figure out why they are always going to the left.
  2. Lost_Warrior

    I Feel Pretty

    By Lost_Warrior,

    I'm so happy...lol today in chorus I actually managed to use my entire range...I can sing anywhere from bass to soprano one on a good day (I normally have no break in my voice) but often I lose the top half of my range...
     
    My scratch art of a retairus I'm making in art class is turning out very well, the hard part is over now I just gotta do the "floor" and the net, I'm really pleased since it was a rather ambitious first attempt at scratch art lol.
     
    I found a new project for shop class, I think it will turn out really cool, it's a feather forged from angle iron, when I get it done if it's good I'll post pictures. AND the wood shop teacher asked me to make some more hooks for him (he already bought some from me last year) because he wants more for his shop. YAY lol
     
    BTW my AP chem test is also done and over with (well this chapter anyway) and I don't know how good it is but at least its done.
  3. Lost_Warrior
    Yesterday we got out of school...well...about 5 minutes early. They made an announcement that all after school activities were cancelled, and that all students were to exit the building on the bell. They then rang the bell five minutes early. We all knew something was wrong, but we were like, "what the heck, we ain't complainin'". I find out later that there was writing found in the bathroom saying something that the teachers found remotely threatening. Apparently, they were the only ones to find it threatening because I also heard that it had been there for close to two weeks before it was noticed. (I also heard another story, that a note was found along with several people's initials. ) I don't know exactly what happened, because they were reluctant to give any real information. I do know that they spent at least $1000 to fly in the K9 unit.
     
    This morning we get to school, and there is a huge line at the door. They were searching everyone's backpacks and purses before they let them in the school (mind you, they didn't look terribly hard.) They seemed more concerned about cell phones than bombs (look out for that Verizon TNT. It's a new model I kid.) Basically, it was a big aggravation, (and a bit of a joke to the very annoyed students) but I really doubt they'll find anything. That's the way these things go...
     
    I seriously hope this doesn't happen again. I'm not afraid, and as far as I know none of the students were either. It's just a major annoyance. I can't imagine what kind of ^&%&^ it would take to do such a thing...surely they only wanted to cause a disruption (some of us really ARE trying to learn. Plus, that K9 unit will probably come out of taxpayers' pockets.)
     
    I AM going to start working on the research paper. (Unfortunately for me I tried to start it the week I had a whole slew of projects due and the like). If I don't report back with an update, smack me
  4. Lost_Warrior

    Poodleification

    By Lost_Warrior,

    So, I got my hair permed today. I'd never done it before, and I must say, while the process isn't the most enjoyable in the world, I am really happy with the result. It's hard to imagine what I would look like with curly hair, so I really didn't know what to expect. Everyone says it smells really bad...this doesn't smell *bad* but rather odd....I think it smells more than a bit like...corned beef seasoning. Yes, my hair smells like a highly spiced piece of meat I don't mind though. It's not as bad as the time I stank of burning feathers from something I did in shop class. I can't wait to see what everyone at school says.
     
    I can hardly believe tomorrow is Wednesday already...the AP exams are closing in...I'm not thrilled about taking them. I'm sure they will be torture can't wait to have them over with though.
     
    I put in a job application, the place wasn't officially hiring but they gave me an application anyway, so I filled it out. Its a start anyhow.
  5. Lost_Warrior
    Well I had my first AP exam today. English. It was an hour of multiple choice (55 questions and a whole hour to do it. I had 10 minutes to spare) and two hours in which to write three essays, preferrably 5 paragraphs each. GAH. It really wasn't THAT bad. Although after working for an entire year on a college level course (if I pass this exam, and then later go to college, I won't have to take the corresponding English course. It's a high school class for college credit) two girls decided to exchange papers. Now this exam is *locked down*. By even reavealing any of the multiple choice questions after taking it, even to our teacher, we may forfeit our scores. The exam has to be taken at the same time, by everyone in the country. If it is not given on a certain day, between the hours of 8 and 9 AM (or later in Alaska) the test is not valid (technically). So these girls, who may or may not have been trying to cheat (they said the writing they showed each other wasn't about the test but I don't know. I didn't see it) forfeited their scores after a year of work in this course. I cannot believe, they would do anything so stupid, but they did. and one of them was actually crying about it (of course, they deserved it if they were doing something so stupid. I certainly don't want anyone to cheat on this test and have an unfair advantage.)
     
    I have an AP chem exam next week. I have to actually get out of class to take practice tests. Which is a real bear because I need some of that time to do other things which need to be done before next Thursday, and it's not something I can work on at home either My brain, is fried. I seriously can't feel my head
     
    My prom is saturday night, i'll be sure to let you all know how that goes. I hope its not a complete disaster
  6. Lost_Warrior

    Hopeful

    By Lost_Warrior,

    Of the two applications that I put in at the beginning of last week, I got a phone call from one of them (on the same day I was going to call them to "check in"). I had forgotten to fill out my birthdate on the application, and the manager called me to ask for it. No big deal. I come inside from mowing the grass and theres another message on the machine. I almost don't answer it thinking it's the same message as before, but since there are two messages which are nearly identical, I figure it's a new one and not a malfunction so I call her back. I got an interview that same day. She said I'd probably know Monday or Tuesday.
     
    It's now Wednesday, and I haven't heard, so I called her back. She says she's still waiting for approval from the central office. Now this, I can believe, because she seems to sincerely want to hire me and I know that background checks for 18 yr olds take a long time (my mom also works at a franchise). So I'm hoping I'll know tomorrow, because orientation is Saturday so they had better get their backsides in gear and let me know Turns out it's not night shift though, its "all shifts", which means that I could be working...all sorts of funny hours. I'm a bit apprehensive about this, but not totally. I think that while it may be a pain, it will be kind of fun. My adventuresome spirit sees this as a possible opportunity for an interesting experience. ::crosses her fingers. and her toes:: I really need this job.
     
    I still haven't heard back from the place that "lost" my application. Although after talking to the manager there, my mom says I probably wouldn't want to work there anyway (apparently someone in authority who shall remain nameless said "what's she need a job for anyway? She has a car, a place to live, and no bills to pay" My mom can't afford to keep me forever ya know lady.) Besides that, their parking lot is aweful and I fear for my low profile tires every time I have to drive through it
     
    I went to the mall and poked around through the bookstore. Now this bookstore is expensive, and so what I do is keep a little notebook in my pocket, take down the titles of the books I want, go home, and order them off of Amazon for a third the price I did find, on their "bargain books" rack, a large and very beautiful volume entitled Ancient Rome: People and Places. It is actually sewn, not glued, and its glossy pages are chock full of gorgeous pictures! There is more text than I first realized, and it is rather slow reading as I am constantly distracted by the pretty pictures, but it contains a wealth of information. One thing that irks me about it though, is that it does not have a single page devoted to the Roman military. It may be part of a series, in which case the military would be covered in another, similar book which I would love to aquire. But otherwise, I cannot believe the author left out that very important aspect of Roman history!
     
    The next two in the Eagle series are also headed my way from Amazon, and I cannot wait to recieve them. They were shipped yesterday so I should have them soon. UNRV should have three new reviews, in relatively short order!
     
    Not long ago I was promoted to Patrician status! :punk: This made my day, even if I was slightly disappointed by not yet having found out that I have a job
  7. Lost_Warrior

    Eagle's Mere

    By Lost_Warrior,

    So we ventured into a little town called Eagle's Mere today. They have a few really cool shops, and in the first one we walked into, I found two Roman coins. Well more than two, I couldn't resist buying one, and I actually ended up with two. I wish I could have brought them all home.
     
    The first one I picked up is from Constantine, the second, Constantius. I have no idea why I picked the one of Constantine, other than I was drawn to it for some reason. Actually, I didn't even realize until I got home, Constantius is apparently Constantine's son. I had no idea LOL. The second one seems miraculously well preserved, or completely fake. I like it because of the little legion standards on the back of the coin I have no idea as to the value of these coins.
     
    I've posted images in my blog:
     
    Constantine II
     
    Constantius II
     
    I also went to a bookstore that I somehow didn't even know existed and I picked up a book entitled The Mask of Jove by a guy called Stringfellow Barr. It's a first edition hardback book in very good condition. It is about the history of the Roman Empire, written in a narrative format. I now have four books that I plan to read for UNRV this might take a while (I picked up another off the "bargain rack" at the mall last week).
     
    My new book looks very good, however I'm wondering who named their kid Stringfellow and why.
  8. Lost_Warrior
    I've finally paid the girl to get her car fixed, and they actually decided they wanted less money than they'd need to fix it. I wrote her a check, she wrote me a reciept (which I locked up in my safe). So that is taken care of. Now all I need is to pay my insurance and fix my car, and looking at my account balance I may just be able to do that without going into my savings! I am very much joyful about that, as the money I had fervently squirrelled away is money I had planned to use for my trip to Minnesota (hopefully with some left over when I get back).
     
    I haven't had a "sugar episode" in almost two weeks, which, if you had seen me two weeks previous, seems to be quite an accomplishment. I'm doing quite well now actually, and still getting better. My next challenge to myself is to get up at a reasonable hour. I lack the self discipline to pull that one off.
     
    I've been getting swelled up and itchy fingers and toes from the cold (happens every winter, grr) and nothing was working for them. I don't know what made me think of it, but I have some aromatherapy oil that I mixed up, I have no tincture of benzoin and the scent does not last long enough to be of any real value for aromatherapy. So for some odd reason or another, I rubbed the stuff into my hands and feet. My fingers and toes (which had been itching terribly, and making me do the "itchy foot dance") did not itch at all while I was at work yesterday, and the swelling is considerably down in them today. (It does help that I've been trying to avoid the cold as well.)
     
    I was playing around in the kitchen and decided to see what I could come up with that was something different. I wanted oatmeal, and so I started playing around with it. Here's what I came up with:
     
    Use actual rolled oats, not quick oats, please. ::shudders at the thought of glue quick oats:: Make the oats with milk, instead of water (just make it how you usually do, follow the directions on the box, whatever). When you're boiling the milk put a few shakes of cinnamon, an allspice berry or two, and a few cloves (I did not crush the cloves or allspice; you might want to). When the milk is boiling, add the oatmeal and cook as usual. (Don't freak when at first the cinnamon forms little lumps that look kinda funky...they'll go away). Serve with a spoonful of brown sugar.
     
    My next recipe is for fried apples. It's simple enough. Cut the apples into tiny pieces (not too tiny, bite sized) and coat them in brown sugar mixed with cinnamon. Heat some butter in a frying pan (get it pretty hot) and fry 'em up! Don't cook them *too* fast, you don't want the insides still cold and the outsides burnt
     
    And for good measure, spiced cider: Put your cider in a microwave safe mug, and nuke it for a few minutes. While it's in the microwave, crush up a few cloves and allspice berries (not too fine) and put them in a teaball. When the cider is good and hot, put the teaball in, and let it "steep" for about five minutes. Of course, you can probably do this on the stove, but for a redneck like me the micro is just as good. So is a soup can on a hot car engine, but I digress. (just kidding about that last one. No, really!)
     
    If you haven't noticed, cloves are my favorite spice, followed by allspice (followed by cinnamon, ginger, and garlic. Not all together, of course)
  9. Lost_Warrior

    FREEDOM!!!!

    By Lost_Warrior,

    I am no longer employed at a certain gas station/subway I've been complaining about for the past several months.
     
    This job has been hard on me. Very hard. No one knows exactly how bad it's gotten, with the exception of maybe a few close friends. But I toughed it out, and I survived. And damnit, now I'm FREE!! I WILL really miss my coworkers though. We had a lot of good times together.
     
    The meeting I was griping about earlier wasn't so bad; I feel like we got some things accomplished; at least, it didn't ruin the rest of my week. That night, we scrubbed the floor of the deli clean. We were high on 409 fumes, and we had a great time. My back, shoulders, ribs and legs still haven't forgiven me.
     
    Tomorrow I am getting up early to do that Coming of Age Rite I've been talking about. Today is the last day of this part of my life. Tomorrow is the dawn of the *rest* of my life. I've done much preparation, but I'm still very nervous. I hope all goes well. It will be done by the time I get online again.
     
    I set off for my dad's on Saturday; I'm spending a few days with that half of the family before catching the train to MN on Wednesday. I'm terrified, but in a good way. I have a hook up for a job doing blacksmithing when I get back; a REALLY COOL job. I really hope it works out. Until Saturday, there remains much packing and preparation to be done, as well as catching up with family and friends one last time before I leave. So much to do, so little time.
  10. Lost_Warrior
    Scented oils from resin:
    This one is extremely easy; I actually discovered it by accident.
     
    You need:
     
    ~Some carrier oil (grapeseed works well, so does mineral oil; I haven't tried any others. Recommend grapeseed for skin use)
     
    ~Resin incense (such as Frankincense, Myrrh, Copal or other) I can tell you from experience that Dragon's blood does not work well at all sad and Myrrh works phenomenally. mr blue
     
    ~One of those liquid potpourri burner things with a tealight candle (mine is made from soapstone)
     
    ~Of course, a bottle to put the oil in when you're done, and a funnel.
     
    Here's what you do:
     
    ~Grind up the resin and put it in the burner thing, with some oil. For a strong scented oil you'll need to use a good bit of resin; the more resin, the stronger the scent.
     
    ~Light the tealight, and let it simmer for about 20-30 minutes (depending). You should see bubbles start to come up from the resin, and smell it releasing it's scent. When this happens, let it "cook" just a little bit longer. Blow out the candle and let it cool, then take the candle out of the thing and pour both oil and resin into the bottle (the oil will still be warm).
     
    ~You might need to make a couple of batches to fill the bottle because most of those burner things don't hold much oil.
     
    This makes nice anointing oil or just perfume oil. It has a subtle, yet very long lasting scent. (I'm wearing some amber myrrh oil that I put on at about 5 30 AM; it's now 2 04 PM and it's still going strong.) It can be rubbed all over your body, because the scent isn't strong or "harsh".
     
    (Do shake well before applying because the resin will settle out. You'll get bits of resin on your skin but they can be brushed off. Shaking helps the scent.) You probably will only smell carrier oil when you sniff the bottle, but when it's applied the scent comes out.
     
    Enjoy! Oh, and let me know what other resins work with this process. So far I've tried Myrrh (wonderful!), Amber (works well with the Myrrh, never tried it by itself) and Dragon's Blood (doesn't work so well).
     
    Salt Scrub
     
    Another extremely easy recipe:
     
    You need:
     
    ~Salt (sea salt is preferable. Lacking that, table salt works)
     
    ~Baking soda
     
    ~Essential oils of your choice
     
    To make the scrub:
     
    ~Mix some salt and baking soda in a bowl (more salt than baking soda...maybe...one part soda to two parts salt? I don't measure anything...)
     
    ~Add your oils, amount depending on type of oil, and personal preference.
     
    ~Mix well and spoon into a jar
     
    To use scrub:
     
    ~Wet skin
     
    ~Rub salt scrub over skin and then rinse
  11. Lost_Warrior

    I'm Here

    By Lost_Warrior,

    I have made it safely to MN. The journey was interesting, but not that great. I did get to see Pittsburg (beautiful!! I'd LOVE to go back!) and Chicago (nice, but not great). I was so exhausted from dragging my luggage everywhere (too cheap to rent a locker...dragged it all around downtown Chicago). I was 2 days on the rails, luggage in tow the whole time and gods my arms hurt!! I arrived in Detroit Lakes at 3 AM...and the sun was coming up by the time I made it to bed.
     
    I'm having fun, although I'm really homesick at times. Al is already teaching me stuff, I made a nice scroll today (but it got wrecked unfortunately...oh well I'll make hundreds more) and a really nice twist. I'm thrilled, because I have never done these things so well. Kathy is teaching me about herbs and such. The really awesome thing is that they have a lot of pagan friends; they were even considerate enough to ask if I had a "day of rest" in my religion (I don't, but it's so cool that they asked!)
     
    The dog Shotzy got attacked by a wild cat of some sort. She's OK thankfully but the poor dog can barely walk (getting better though).
     
    I have very little time online, so I'll see you all occasionally...
  12. Lost_Warrior

    Oy Vey

    By Lost_Warrior,

    Wow it's been a long while since I wrote something in here!
     
    I'm really starting to enjoy my work, not that I wouldn't rather be home, but because I don't have anything to worry about when I come home. It's wonderful! My boss switched my hours this week, so I start at 6 AM and get out at 12 PM...not bad, not bad at all. I have the whole afternoon off.
     
    Life has been crazy though, not so much on a physical level but on a spiritual one. I'm not complaining but I could do with a break sometimes. With Samhain fast approaching it only promises to get crazier!!
     
    Just ordered a bunch of beads from Fire Mountain, well actually, will send the order in soon. I can't wait until they get here, I have a few ideas for jewelery which I can't wait to make!! The harp playing isn't going as well as I'd hoped, I seem to have lost interest while I was getting all of the issues straightened out. However, I hope to get some time to play soon. This weekend promises to be devoted entirely to rest, laying around on the couch, screwing around on the computer...etc. I'll have the whole house to myself and I'll NEED the rest, so I can't wait.
     
    I have been fluish all day (and unfortunately this is upsetting my stomach). I certainly hope I feel better tomorrow!! I don't want to call off work, as I know my coworkers need me to be there, and I actually like them, so I'd hate to disappoint. Flu or no, I'm going through with my Full Moon rite tonight. It should only take about a half an hour...consists only of chanting, really and some 'basic' energy work. And a journal entry which I'm doing as soon as I'm done here. Not stressful at all, and even though I'm sick it is important to me to keep up with it.
  13. Lost_Warrior
    It's been a while since I updated this, so without further ado, I give you:
     
    Tribal Carnival!!!
     

     
    It has been a long four weeks, LOL. Here's hoping the next few are a lot better. I need to ask tomorrow about what we're doing at work for Christmas. I need to know, so that I can make plans to see the other half of my family. Hopefully I'll be able to see them for a few days, at least. I'm sorry to say that my grandmother is not doing so well, and I want to get to see her as much as possible now.
  14. Lost_Warrior
    I LOVE MY DREMMEL!!!!
     
    Random blue stone lying around the house, seed, silver, and rainbow obsidian beads.
     

     
    My new natural alexandrite ring:
     
    (sunlight)

     
    (incandescent light)

     

     
    I'm just taking it easy today. I have had three panic attacks in the past two days, and I'm trying to relax, and get this under control before I have to go back to work tomorrow. I'm somewhere in between "keep myself occupied" and "don't do anything stressful" and hoping for a good day.
     
    Merry Christmas everyone!!!
  15. Lost_Warrior
    I've gone and created another blog. This is blog #8...my friends all think I've totally lost it.
     
    I guess I truly am a blogger at heart. Plus, wordpress is entirely too much fun.
     
    So without further ado, I give you: Tranquil Mayhem.
     
    I posted a recipe for an awesome (and awesomely simple) hair/body/lip balm. I love this stuff. I'm currently ordering supplies to make even more.
     
    I'm doing alright, today. Actually had a good day...it's the first day in at least a week that I've actually been able to relax, at least some what. Lately I have been literally incapable of relaxing, which really sucks. Anxiety is evil and vicious. I have my next appointment with the therapist on the 18th...my appointment got moved back due to scheduling difficulties.
  16. Lost_Warrior

    Yummm

    By Lost_Warrior,

    So I've been making my own body balm...yummy...Recipe Here.
     
    It's so easy even I can do it and the benefits of this stuff (over commercial products) so far have been WELL worth the effort (besides, I enjoy doing this).
     
    I made some mandarin first, and tonight, grapefruit and ylang-ylang. It smells SOO good (and it's a light scent...which I need because strong scents make me sick). I made some of it stiffer, this time, and put it in an old Lip Smacker tube. I actually had just enough to fill three containers, which was awesome luck.
     
    I ordered some more fractionated coconut and beeswax as well as some essential oils in order to make more. I'm thinking of putting an order in somewhere else to get more containers, and some loose herbs besides. I think the scent of grapefruit is REALLY helping my anxiety, just based on tonight's experience. Or else the act of doing something fully involved helped a lot, or both.
     
    I got some bad news yesterday: someone has gotten hold of my credit card number and tried to charge $757 to my account. The good news, well great news, is that Capital One caught it right away. Did not approve the charge, and is sending me a new card.
     
    I also got my windshield fixed for the fourth time yesterday, hopefully for good. *eyeroll* thank gods warranty is covering it.
     
    And of course, the thing that makes me REALLY happy, is today my boss showed me how to do some really basic, but pretty awesome (for me at least) things on the RoboDrill. He also talked a bit about programming, and said that if I stick with it and I like it, I can go to programming school. I was having a really articulate day and was able to pick up on what he was saying and showing me *very* quickly...and remember most all of it...which is really rare for me. I really think I would enjoy programming these machines (my two loves: metal and computers!).
     
    I've had a really good week all things considered. Some things not so good, but it's been far better than most of the past several months of hell. So I'm content...not really happy right now but content.
  17. Lost_Warrior
    If there is a line between "house plant" and "plant house" I think I'm about to cross it. Seriously.
     
    I used to not be able to grow ANYTHING but I now have...ten plants that are *definitely* mine, and my mom has I don't know how many that are *definitely* hers, and then there are a few we fight over...
     
    My most recent additions (this week, in fact) are a beautiful palm from the local nursery and a GORGEOUS sago palm. I LOVE cycads...and I certainly hope that my new sago loves me. I managed to kill one once before...
     
    This is my new Sago beauty:
     

     
    (Sagos, by the way, are not palms, they're cycads. Cycads are actually prehistoric conifers. They're absolute evolutionary marvels...they have not changed much at all in 200 million years! Now THAT is an awesome plant!)
     
    I spent today repotting some of my plants: my two African violets (well, three now. I divided one. It doesn't have many roots so I hope it survives...there were two crowded into a small pot in a way that they did NOT like, and so I have given them their own 'houses' to live in. ) and my 'gold dust tree' which is growing quite large since I got it last year.
     
    Tomorrow my...zebra plant? Is likely to get divided.
     
    When we go back to the nursery (I hope soon!) I hope they still have a Fantasy plant (I think it's a type of Draceana. I can't remember what it's called exactly, but it's got red and yellow and all sorts of funky colored leaves. I wish I'd bought one when I was up there before.) It's that time of year, when I want to bring nature indoors and I can never have too many plants. This year's collecting begins...
     
    I worked this morning, and then spent the day repotting stuff. I'm beat. I'm trying to get my mind and body both together in order to do my weekly ritual, which I'll do when the sun sinks a little lower.
  19. Lost_Warrior
    I just finished Gladiatrix last night, and just submitted the rough draft of the review today. WOOO HOOO!!!!
     
    Update on Flash: he has been eating his tail. A whole 1/4 inch it seems like disappeared one day- but I have an idea why this might be happening. Turns out, the poor guy's bowl was in the sun for several hours a day! I was at work during this time, so I had no idea. I have taken measures to make him feel safer, and to stop the sun from shining on him. So here's hoping the situation improves. I'm sad and frustrated. He had such a gorgeous tail and it's nearly gone! (and it's not fin rot, either.)
     
    He is eating, I got him some bloodworms and different pellets. He will not eat the pellets, but he attacks to blood worms viciously! While I was at the store getting him different pellets, I couldn't resist and I acquired this guy:
     

     
    Meet Cobalt. He lives in a bowl on the other side of the dresser, and is MUCH calmer than Flash EVER was. Flash is a high anxiety fish. Just like his mama.
     
    On Friday I hennaed my hair and I gotta say, I LOVE IT!!! The color develops over time, so it will continue to darken. I hope it doesn't darken too much more though. I have had a lot of different shades of red in my hair over the years, I dyed it often when I was younger. But orange is some place I never thought I'd go, and now that I see it I can't figure out why.
     
    This is yesterday:
     

     
    And today:
     

     
    As you can see the color is darker, but still quite red. I can't believe how much of a difference it made, even in the way I feel. I really missed having red hair. I think I'm hooked for life now!
     
    I've given up on getting my own place for now, as I did the math and realized that I just cannot afford to live on about $800 a month, which is what I'm making after taxes when you don't count the overtime. Although, I have everything I want here, so I don't think this is a huge big deal.
     
    My Gwyddon Initiation will be on Samhain and I'm really hoping I'll be able to get time off work to fly out to Kentucky for it. I'm crossing my fingers and bugging every deity I can to make this happen. It will mean a lot to me.
     
    Since things seem to be slowing down a bit here, I'm going to try to be more active on UNRV. I hope. *crosses fingers*
  21. Lost_Warrior

    I Love Days Like This

    By Lost_Warrior,

    Fall is here. You can see it in the trees, feel it in the air. You can smell it in the morning dew. It rained today, it was the kind of rain that smells like snow. The wind is blowing through the trees. I love days like this. It isn't stormy, but there's a certain energy in the air that isn't there at any other time. Only in the fall and occasionally in winter. It's beautiful. I feel so alive when the weather is like this...
     
    This week promises to be much better than last week.
  22. Lost_Warrior
    Silence. The silence that lives inside of us. The calm after battle...before a storm...that little space inside of us that is so often forgotten, ignored, but never leaves. That space inside where joy, love, and hope go when fear takes over...pandora's box...that little space is the one good thing left at the bottom...listen to that silence inside you...it speaks without words...it knows nothing of words...the language of the soul is silence...it knows only one thing: "I am"...and knows no definition...just be...pure existance...and you will find the answers you didn't even realize you sought...
     
    Forgotten. Too much is forgotten these days...when our laughter has been replaced by electronic beeps, our voices lost in the hum of machines...even our music is electronic, mechanical. You turn on the radio...and hear electronic beeps, keyboards and synthesizers...open the window. You'll hear the birds sing, the wind in the trees...music is life...life has music...
     
    Color...does sound have color? Some say it does...I've been told my voice is blue...what does that mean? I don't know...I always thought of it as round... Sight, and sound, touch, and laughter...are they one in the same...to see sound and hear color...blue is clear...the sky is clear and bright...there's no way to prove that of course...there is no way to capture an audio recording of color...I suppose its like trying to explain "blue" to a blind person...they can never truely know...and neither can we...sometimes I feel like that...like I can never know...because I've never known...and don't know where to begin.
     
    Blah...shallow people...I listen to my friends talk and all I hear is sports, or boys, or fashion, or schoolwork...just once I'd like to hear someone my own age ask "what do you want out of life?"..."what do you value?"..."what's most important to you?"...I may not be able to answer these questions myself...but at least I can understand them...do you know how you would answer those questions? I want freedom in life...maybe not freedom in the traditional sense...but freedom from the constraints so many try to place on us all...I want knowledge...maybe knowledge isnt the right word...I want to know what's inside myself...how to listen to that little voice...I want prosperity...and I don't mean money. I want the satisfaction of knowing that I accomplished something...fullfillment...health...love...How many people want "a good job, a nice house, a car and a family"? I value honesty, duty, honor, love...I value kindness and mercy...but not giving in...acceptance is not surrender, someone once said and I'm inclined to agree...What's most important to me? LIFE...life is important to me...noticing the little things...
     
    No one seems to ask these questions anymore...although they'll ask "does my hair look ok?"...language has become shallow...just words...collections of syllables when put together matching a definition in a book...words that only really mean other words....what happened to the days when words carried a piece of the essence of that which they described? When words *were* the idea, instead of simply describing it?
     
    Poetry...rythm to words...the ideas in poetry lies not in the words, but between them...in the barely perceptible spaces between the words...in the flow of it, the music of it...the overall effect far greater than the sum of its parts....similes...metaphors...alone these words mean nothing...together they mean the world...
     
    There is life in the rustle of leaves, the glint of sun on the water...music in the raindrops, in the dripping, melting snow and cracking ice...music that in autumn bids farewell to the sun...and haralds its return as new life begins...
     
    Belief...I don't have belief...I have knowledge...people ask me if I believe in God...I don't believe. I KNOW. When there is no doubt in your mind, it is not belief...when you wake up and look out the window and feel the presence...the leaves, in the sun, in the moon...feel the magic...and know its there...anything is possible...my home feels empty without my Gods...it is not my home without them, only a house...I carry them with me wherever I go...I've no need of a church or a temple...because they are there with me...everywhere I go is sacred...
  23. Lost_Warrior

    Snow??!! Ugh...

    By Lost_Warrior,

    Well it snowed. We got one heck of a snow storm in the middle of April. And the power was out all day, but now it's back on again. I hope it stays on.
     
    This week has been very stressful, but I'm extremely glad that it is over. I have tomorrow off too, and I'm really enjoying my time off. Due to the power outage I had nothing to do (other than shoveling 18 inches of snow) so I spent most of the day in meditation (when not trying to keep warm. I was huddled around an oil lamp for heat. It was pathetic.)
     
    I didn't get the ring I was bidding on, I got "sniped" at the last minute. Oh well, I'm sure another will come along. I'm going to let my mom on the comp soon, because she wants to check her Ebay auction.
  24. Lost_Warrior
    My navel ring did NOT grow shut, in fact...the hole shrunk quite a bit but I was able to stretch it back open, and I now have a beautiful new titanium barbell from Industrial Strength. It's a shorter barbell, at first I thought it was too short, but I LOVE the shorter barbell. It feels so much more comfortable than the longer one I had been wearing.
     
    (You can see the nasty surgery scar that is *slowly* healing and fading, and yes, my stomach is that hairy LOL I should totally take a better pic)
     

     
    And last night, I got my ears pierced again! I've wanted a second set of holes for about 6 years now, and I only recently decided on 14g mostly because there are some REALLY AWESOME 14g earrings I want to be able to wear. So I'm now wearing a brand new shiny pair of 14g stainless captive bead rings.
     
    The piercer is awesome, I called him last night when I got home from work and he said he wasn't going to be in today, and he was going to close up shop early but if he knew I was coming he'd stay. So I hopped in the car and drove down there. He was super friendly and knew what he was doing, too.
     
    I laughed, he had the needle lined up and said "OK, on the count of three. One, Two, *JAB*. OK I cheated." He had the jewelery in before I even realized it.
     
    The second ear: "Well you already know my trick so I'm just gonna do this *JAB*." If I would have flinched I didn't have TIME to. LOL
     
    I love my new holes. Pics coming soon. '
     
    I gave Dean a nice tip and will totally go back to see him again if I need anything else done.
  25. Lost_Warrior
    So on Easter we went to my grandma's for dinner. My gram had a stomach virus and was not feeling well, but my mom thought it was "side effects" from all the meds she's taking. Yea, well, "side effects" are not contagious. Last night I spent the whole night puking my guts out...amoung other things. I couldn't sleep a wink. I spent half the night eating popsicles because they were the only source of water that I (thought) I could get to stay where it was supposed to. Of course I threw them up all over the kitchen floor, but at least some of it got into my system. Dehydration sucks. I've now *attempted* to drink some regular juice (I've no spit left so with the popsicles I kept swallowing air. not good) and I'm hoping I don't throw that up as well. Man, am I ever thirsty and I can't drink say, a whole quart of juice in 10 seconds either like i'd like axiously awaiting mom to bring home that ginger ale
     
    I was going to paint my room this weekend but it's raining, and my mom won't be home. Bah. So that will be put off until I don't even know when...
     
    I'm probably going to miss school monday, I can't imagine being able to eat by then. That majorly sucks...because I have an art project that pretty much has to be done monday. There's no real leeway because its a clay project and getting close to the art show.
     
    On a positive note, I've started a copper and brass sculpture in shop class. I hope it turns out as well as I envision lol It's really fun to work on though
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