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Man said 'wombat rape' led to accent change


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As if we Kiwis don't already get enough hassles about us and sheep. All I can say is the South Island can get very, very lonely....

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"In sentencing Cradock, he warned him not to do it again."

 

Yes but of course, Mr Judge, I will try to stay away from getting raped by a wombat again, I promise!

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"I'll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he's pulled out."

 

Hey wait a second here. Just because the wombat was attempting to prevent some horrific inter-species offspring doesn't mean it's not guilty of rape. :unsure:

 

The consequences of not practicing safe sex with wombats...

 

002.jpg

 

-- Nephele

 

 

Please Neph, not in public.... :)

 

Cute looking creature isn't he? A bit like some of those old guys you see in flat caps and raincoats riding mobility buggies around corners in supermarkets very slowly. Or have I stumbled onto something? You've got some explaining to do Nephele....

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"I'll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he's pulled out."

 

Hey wait a second here. Just because the wombat was attempting to prevent some horrific inter-species offspring doesn't mean it's not guilty of rape. :unsure:

 

The consequences of not practicing safe sex with wombats...

 

002.jpg

 

-- Nephele

 

 

Please Neph, not in public.... :)

 

Cute looking creature isn't he? A bit like some of those old guys you see in flat caps and raincoats riding mobility buggies around corners in supermarkets very slowly. Or have I stumbled onto something? You've got some explaining to do Nephele....

 

Yes, Caldrail, you have discovered my darkest secret -- for that tragic creature is my offspring from having done the humpty dance with a wombat many years ago. Alas, I was young and foolish -- I don't even remember the wombat's name.

 

I met him in a seedy goth bar whilst on holiday in Melbourne. He plied me with drinks (the beast) and then took me to his apartment. The rest is all a blur. *sob*

 

So perhaps you can understand why I'm somewhat bitter about Mr. Cradock's international fame regarding his false story of having been raped by a wombat. Because it really happened to me, and no one gave a fook.

 

Yes, I had a meat-to-meat with a wombat, and all I got out of it was this freak child.

 

-- Nephele

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What's wrong with Nephele's offspring? That's a perfectly good looking bouncing wombat/vampire hybrid homunculus if ever I saw one!

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What's wrong with Nephele's offspring? That's a perfectly good looking bouncing wombat/vampire hybrid homunculus if ever I saw one!

 

I breed my own evil minions!

 

-- Nephele

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