I'm not by nature a couch potato, but let's face it, every so often the urge to sit slack-jawed in front of a television gets the better of us. By saturday night, I too was in couch potato mode. Even the energy drink I was sipping from made no difference. I just couldn't be bothered.
The trouble with television on a saturday night is that it seems to be designed for people who have embarrasingly low IQ scores or lack the skills to socialise. It's almost as if media companies don't want peopl
Last week at the programme centre a chap asked me to help him with his jobsearch. His concernwas that the job centre was getting a little impatient with him. My concern was that he was asking me to do his applications for him.
You see, I don't mind helping people. it's just that I prefer to help people who try to help themselves. If he'd actually shown any willingness to pull his weight, I would have backed him to the hilt. As it happens, he had no intention of doing anything at all. Noneth
Before I dropped in on the library this morning, I strolled down to the newsagent to pick up a copy of the local paper. Not only that, I intend to pay for it too. Unlike many of the people who fill the stories in print this week.
There seems to be a lot of theft going on at the moment. Police are looking for one supermarket thief whose grainy security camera image looks worryingly like me on a rainy day, and caught some villains escaping from a raid on another outlet one night. The amazing
Every so often I see news footage of some disaster or conflict that results in people abandoning homes to live in tented shanties. Like most things reported by television, it's all very terrible and you know people are suffering, but the filmed sequences never really prepare you for the reality of it. After all, when you're watching these things, the chances are you're comfortable in a warm secure house with no particular worries except how to afford the bills.
Just of late there's been a se
The library was quiet, far quieter than the usual subliminal murmur of curses, mobile phone conversations, and urgent discussions between young couples. Instead, an air of subdued boredom hung in the air. Not that it bothered me of course. I was too busy communicating with the outside world via the internet. At least I think it's the outside world. What a wierd thing it would be to discover all my virtual friends are actually figments of a computer program. Wow. That would be like being in The P
Times they are a-changing again. I'm to be placed on a two year program designed to get me back into work. A part of me is a bit dismissive. It is after all just about politicians trying to cover their backsides and look as if they're doing something to reduce unemployment, and you have to wonder what this course will do that hasn't already been offered by the others I've been on.
The trouble is that this government is talking tough over things like the dole queue. I'm well aware how many c
To say that the museum is a quiet place to work is something of an understatement. All morning the public pass this way and that, going about their mundane business, many totally unaware that a museum exists right under their nose. On the other hand, I suspect many regard museums as boring places that they and their friends wouldn't dream of frequenting for fear their lives would be destroyed by the humiliation. Pfah! What do they know?
In fact, today was quite an exciting day for us volunte
No-one could accuse me of not being prepared. With the risk of heavy showers predicted by our faithful prophets of the television weather report, I was not taking chances. Okay, I wasn't in hiking mode, dressed in outdoors survival gear, but in clothing I know from experience is able to cope quite well with the minor downpour or two. So military surplus it is then.
All day long I was going here and there, seeing to my daily business, and to my utter disgust the dark clouds came and went with
It was such a lovely afternoon yesterday that I couldn't help taking a wander around some of our local open spaces. I was in the mood for a break. The aggravations of job searching seem especially aggravating right now, simply because it feels like I'm trying to wade upstream right now. After nearly two decades in warehousing you would think I'd learnt a few things, but apparently job agencies regard me as lacking the necessary experience. Pardon?
Anyway, that's enough of a gripe. The weathe
A nice day for a quick stroll through the park. A couple amble toward the edge of the lake and the local population of waterfowl converge on them, hoping for their morning supply of bread, which they were duly offered and a mad scramble for damp morsels ensued. One seabird seems to have gotten annoyed at one of the geese. It glided on the wind, stationary above the offending goose, wings gently rocking from side to side as it assumed the optimum position, then dived on him again and again. The f
Last night I thought I would spoil myself and go for a takeaway. I know, it's expensive, unhealthy, but compared to the rather bland food I normally eat, it makes a welcome change. A little of what you fancy dies you good. So after an archaeological dig into my trousers I discovered an ancient five pound note, still legible after all those years of lying fallow in sweaty conditions. Time then to hit the streets!
It must have been a while since I last ventured out into the sunday evening of r
There's nothing like lazing in a hot bath. Now that I'm on metered water it's become a luxury, yet the pleasure of lying in hot water and just relaxing for an hour is great. So last night I followed the usual ritual and slid into the water with a satisified sigh.
Outside all was not well. The weather reports had warned of showers but what followed sounded like I was under siege. The heavens opened and down came hail, rattling and pinging on the roofs arund the bathroom like incessant arrow f
For the last couple of days the weather has been interesting. One minute the sun is out and everyone is relaxed. The next a massive spread of towering grey and white cumulus unleashes rainfall on the unsuspecting. I had to shelter in a doorway two days ago while one downpour opened up. Not only rain, but hail mixed in. Ten minutes later the clouds drifted away to reduce someone else to a drowned rat. Now I can go about my business again, safe in the knowledge that my school swimming certificate
Ah yes. The unmistakeable sound of a postman pushing mail through the letterbox. In a way it's a comforting sound, knowing that there's an outside world that wants to communicate with me. Experience has taught me to be more circumspect. Since my last employer decided that I owned the wrong car I must have received something in the order of several hundred rejection letters. Who knows? Maybe there's more waiting downstairs?
In a way there was. The police have sent me the usual summation lette
Time to take Ol' Reliable down from his perch on the kitchen surface. As microwaves go it was a simple beast. Put your food in, select a cooking time... Three minutes?... Yes, let's try three minutes. If I see steam building up I know it's time to cut the power early. How simple is that? No complicated programming or indeed any intrinsic knowledge of cooking required. Just hot food, on demand.
There can be no sentimentality in the cutthroat competition of consumer electronics. Ol' Reliable h
As weekends go, this was not a good one. For once monday morning has come as something of a relief (How often do you hear that?). The source of my agony isn't anything to do with the usual gripes. There was no hassle with benefits, noisy neighbours, or things that go bump in the night. It was instead my own fault.
Always cook your food properly. How often have I heard that? Normally I do of course, but the exotic flavoured chicken dish I spotted in the supermarket was too good to miss and pe
I can't tell how how pleasant a day it is right now. Bright sunshine and a cool breeze. Even the mood is relaxed as I go about my business among the throngs of people feeling exactly the same way as I do. Okay, I avoided the marching band, but hey, each to their own.
The museum has been unusually busy too. Paying customers? Whatever next? Asking that question was my mistake. For those who've ever watched the comedy series My Name Is Earl, Karma is alive and well outside of California too.
Another thursday with a sort of un-thursday feel to it. That about sums the day up. Truth of the matter is I'm struggling to think of something to report, other than this morning was bright and sunny. Oh yes - I walked around the park earlier. Like you do.
Nice Place To Nest
In the middle of the lake is one of those infernal fountains that sprouted in every public park some years ago. Recently a bird had built a nest right next to the sput. Like living next to a waterfall in reverse. Now th
"How long have I got mate?" Asked an optimistic motorist at the bottom of the hill last night, planning to use the loading bays cut into the pavement. He was of course not asking the question to me, but one of the two traffic wardens busy handing out tickets to motorists who didn't think to ask.
I can't call them traffic wardens anymore (nor anything less polite). Instead, they're called Traffic Flow Monitoring & Enforcement Officers or something similar. I should know. I've applied to
Many years ago I promised a flight in a cessna to one of my workmates. Having already booked an aircraft, I received a telephone call from the flying club telling me that the aeroplane had lost oil in flight. Indeed it had. I saw the little Cessna 150 parked at the back of the hangar with a brown windscreen, a sort of dusty and fly-filled gunge across the plexiglass curve.
No matter. They promised me another airworthy machine that was more or less the same. I shouldn't have any problems. Yet
Oh what fun we have in the museum. Young L turns up as usual, breathless and excitable, and immediately gets to work searching out this weeks favourite tracks on his mp3 player. He's having a Queen-fest just of late. His favourite is Bohemian Rhapsody. Well, maybe not mine, but at least it wasn't one of those sugary 'let's be friends' singles that Queen sometimes turned out. Ugh.
"Do you like Bohemian Rhapsody?" He asked me. It's okay. It's just that I can't listen to it without seeing four
No sooner had I asked where the wet weather was than it turns up on my doorstep. It's a dreary dull morning here in the rainforests of Darkest Wiltshire, though I should say it's stopped raining just this last few minutes ago.
It seems I chose the right day for my hike. Yesterday I stopped for a breather in a small out-of-the-way field to enjoy the sunshine and the little enclave of rural bliss that is Horse Meadow. Four horses quietly grazed elsewhere. White, bay, black, and a curiously uns
With a quiet wednesday looming and more good weather to enjoy, the temptation to head for the hills was too much. In the early hours of this morning I packed my rucksack and set off into the gloomy twilight. The sun had barely risen a couple of degrees, so only between gaps in the urban landscape did that amber glow light up the sides of trees and houses.
The problem with hiking at this time of year is getting comfrotable. The early morning often brings a biting chill, as indeed today it did
In the many news reports I've browsed through lately, I spotted one modest story that Britain is drying up. All this good weather comes at a price which means the lack of rainfall is going to cause the hosepipe bans and frantic questions in the Houses of Parliament. Curiously enough a recent television report showed a reservoir with dwindling water levels. Time to panic? Apparently not. Despite expert advice and lessons of the past, no-one seems particularly interested that our summer might prov
My usual Monday ritual begins at the Job Centre. Walk in, pass by the swarm of security guards as they appraise me for terrorist capability, and ascend the steps to my assigned floor where I sit and wait for an interview... And wait... This appears to be the latest wheeze designed to catch me out. No searching the database for vacancies, just sign and go after a long wait. Presumably this will lull me in to a false sense of laziness.
"Sorry to keep you waiting." The gentleman said as he led
