Something strange is afoot in the Independent Peanut Republic of Rushey Platt. Up until now I've only been dimly aware of it, but yesterday something clicked into place.
Somebody wants me to conform. To be the same as everyone else. To be ordinary. To relinquish my individualism. To accept mundanehood. Most people do. They choose a stereotype in order to fit in and avoid attention. They adopt the uniform, the manner, and the language of their chosen tribe. Thats ordinary social behaviour for
As you might have guessed, I spent last night watching Monty Python's third film, The Meaning Of Life, definitely the least funny of the three, and perhaps proof that Life isn't fun? Certainly the town I live in has tried to tell us its a great place to live ever since the railworks, our very own dark satanic mill, closed for business. Yet Swindon always seems so meaningless.
It does seem a little coincidental that I've chosen to discuss the Meaning of Life, especially since I seem to have s
The amber triangles are proudly displayed on the weather report again. This time it's not heavy rain and the attendant risk of flooding, but the arrival of this years first snowfall, which shouldn't affect Wiltshire as yet.
Nonetheless the temperatures are plummetting. This morning was no exception. I've resorted to gloves for the first this year. Even my claims advisor mentioned how cold it was. Hey, that was almost conversational.
Yesterday had one advantage. It was a bright sunny day,
For the last couple of days I've vibrated along to the rumble of heavy machinery trundling by on the street outside. Hot asphaltic steam rose from the shiny black road surface, and young workmen buried under layers of once fashionable clothing wandered here and there, earning their money by looking busy all day. This morning I glanced out to see what progress they've made when... Huh?
What a suprise! A brand new road, glistening darkly with brand new tarmac and light rain fall. Cars wafted
Having received that email yesterday from an arab sheik it came as a shock to see the news revealing a terrorist plot to assassinate a saudi diplomat had been foiled by American authorities. I doubt the two are connected in any way - I don't even know if the email is genuine - but the thought that my flippant comments on the blog yesterday might have serious implications is a bit of a sobering thought.
I can easily imagine a budget airline jet halted on the tarmac while two dark suited secur
Nine people a day in Great Britain die from road accidents. Thats a startling statistic, but one thats being used by all sorts of people to persecute car drivers. The man behind the wheel is the villain. He (or she) knocks down pedestrians, fills our roads with stationary queues, and threatens the climate.
The emotive interviews with grieving parents of those killed on the road are understandable but to some extent it's exploitive journalism. Life after all isn't safe, despite the cossetting
The plumber was back early this morning. Apparently his previous repair hadn't solved the leaking water that my downstairs neighbour was so concerned about. He had every reason to be so, since it turns out the electrical wiring downstairs is uncomfortably close to the pipes. Anyway, the much harassed plumber rebuilt my bathroom in record time before I popped down to the library. Can't see any smoke coming from downstairs, so perhaps this time the problem is solved?
Playgrounds
The local pap
There are those who say I don't write enough about sex. Certainly they want more gossip about my girlfriends, but unfortunately, since becoming long term unemployed I can no longer afford them, and in any case, women aren't usually turned on by flirtacious old fogies unless they also happen to be filfthy rich. Despite continued investigations by the Department of Work & Pensions, it appears I'm just another poverty stricken claimant.
However, I shall not be daunted. Here then is the scan
Ah yes. The unmistakeable sound of a postman pushing mail through the letterbox. In a way it's a comforting sound, knowing that there's an outside world that wants to communicate with me. Experience has taught me to be more circumspect. Since my last employer decided that I owned the wrong car I must have received something in the order of several hundred rejection letters. Who knows? Maybe there's more waiting downstairs?
In a way there was. The police have sent me the usual summation lette
The sunshine is glorious. It really is. Not a cloud to be seen and for a warm saturday surprisingly quiet in Swindon. You would think the place would be humming with people out to enjoy the day but apparently this isn't the case. I wonder why? Is it the recession? Has anyone got any money left after Gordon Browns Tax Police have slapped bills on everything that moves and almost everything that doesn't? Or is it the danger of collapsing walls at our plentiful building sites, following this weeks
What a morning - it's all go at the Caldrail residence. This morning, at the ungodly hour of half past eight, I was dragged from my bed by a knock on the door. Before me were two suspicious characters who cheerfully said "All right mate? We're just gonna paint the house..."
Well thats very kind of you. Just wait there will you?.... I'd not received a letter about this so I proceed to phone the letting agent who phoned the landlord who phoned the property maintenance firm who phoned the landl
Some would describe me as a eurosceptic. They're quite wrong of course, I'm a eurocritic. The shameless ambiton and manipulaton of some politicians intending to create a new european empire have been all too obvious.
Paranoia? Conspiracy theory? It isn't just me who waggles a finger and warns about the actual intentions of the political initiatives to gain advantage from the current difficulties. Only yesterday I was watching a journalist voicing his opinion how France and Germany are tryin
"Ahhh... Caldrail... We meet again." Miss R always smiles when it's time for me to be interviewed. There's always a plastic ruler on her desk. "We've got you a vacancy to apply for."
It's hard to be enthusiastic. Not because I have to find work, but because I've already found 25 suitable vacancies under my own steam since we last spoke. I have to smile and accept it though. Applying for this extra one is mandatory under the new rules. I read the information sheet and as it happens, the job
Having been so impressed with that new footbridge across the railway line, today I decided to head out for a hike in country. Get some fresh air, exercise, and a few cool pictures of no possible use to anyone. Of course I did the requisite job search at the library first. Always see to your chores.
There we go. A bunch of cool pictures taken and time to head off into the hills. I did make a half hearted attempt to photograph a passing train, just for the heck of it you understand, but I wasn
Yesterday was warm. Very warm. We brits aren't used to that level of warmness. Even hardened package holidaymakers were breathing out heavily and wiping sweat from their brow as they dragged their kids from one place to another. I had no choice but to drag myself.
They do say that only mad dogs and englishmen go out in the mid day sun. Guilty. As I left the library after lunchtime to head for the shops, I crossed the triangular space where our centotaph stands. Standing in the shade of the
Sunday is well named. It really is a nice day out there. This morning I couldn't resist taking a break down by the lake at Queens Park. With water levels so low, the gravel beach also exposes larger stones that make convenient seats. A flock of bemused pidgeons strut by in random directions, heads titling, trying to figure out what breed of bird I might be. Give it up guys. Your brain is too small.
The geese and swans never even stirred. They all remained curled up a few yards away. I gues
Where were you when Berlin Wall came down? Where you when Princess Di had a bit of an accident? Events like those can be so important sometimes, even when you least expect it. At least they are to some people. I honestly can't say those particular events ever stirred me to remember the day but I'm sure you can think of those that do it for you.
You might ask why I'm writing about them. Well it's because the news has broken that the CERN hadron collider at Geneva might have spotted the elusiv
If anyone out there hasn't heard about it, this year is the seventieth anniversary of the Battle of Britain. Germans are groaning and shaking their heads. Frenchmen snort and dismiss the whole thing. Americans scratch their heads and wonder how we won it without their air force. Russians declare they won it first.
Okay, once more they showed the 1968 Battle of Britain film. Again. But I watched it all the same, even with those horrible non-1940's mistakes. It was after all a fairly accurate
The library was quiet, far quieter than the usual subliminal murmur of curses, mobile phone conversations, and urgent discussions between young couples. Instead, an air of subdued boredom hung in the air. Not that it bothered me of course. I was too busy communicating with the outside world via the internet. At least I think it's the outside world. What a wierd thing it would be to discover all my virtual friends are actually figments of a computer program. Wow. That would be like being in The P
My daily routine of late has been simple. Wake up, slide clumsily out of bed, limp across to the window, and look out on yet another bright blue sky. Another fine, sunny day. Not too hot, just comfortable, at least as long you avoid strenuous activity. That's not difficult when you're unemployed.
Today though was different. A dreary grey morning with an ever present sense that drizzle is about to break out. To make things worse, today I'm scheduled to help out at the museum, and as we all kn
Last night I thought I would spoil myself and go for a takeaway. I know, it's expensive, unhealthy, but compared to the rather bland food I normally eat, it makes a welcome change. A little of what you fancy dies you good. So after an archaeological dig into my trousers I discovered an ancient five pound note, still legible after all those years of lying fallow in sweaty conditions. Time then to hit the streets!
It must have been a while since I last ventured out into the sunday evening of r
A nice day for a quick stroll through the park. A couple amble toward the edge of the lake and the local population of waterfowl converge on them, hoping for their morning supply of bread, which they were duly offered and a mad scramble for damp morsels ensued. One seabird seems to have gotten annoyed at one of the geese. It glided on the wind, stationary above the offending goose, wings gently rocking from side to side as it assumed the optimum position, then dived on him again and again. The f
If it wasn't for the television news, I wouldn't know that riots had happened in London or anywhere else. Since the violence began it's been something contained in a little box, something I only witness from the comfort of my sofa. I thought nothing of taking a stroll through town yesterday afternoon. I mean, riots always happen to other people, don't they?
I have to say it was a lovely day. Sunshine, a cool breeze, people wandering with all the time in the world. Yet something was a little
Who amongst you had a dull monday? A fair few of you I'll bet, but I'm afraid my monday was probably duller than yours. It was one of those days when the whole town just seemed to say "I can't be bothered".
I did see an interesting bit of aerial combat between a crow and a gull at the park. The crow was faster and kept on catching up, but that agile gull certainly had the edge on manoeverability. Here we have a perfect opportunity to witness evolution as it happens. Only the fittest will su
So much for drizzle. We had a right downpour yesterday afternoon. The weather is the same today, a grey day with a sense of dampness in the air. Certainly there's some great piles of darker cloud in the vicinity threatening to make my day wetter than planned, so my trip to the supermarket is starting to look risky. Hey, that's life in the wilds of Darkest Wiltshire.
I find the habits of Swindoners a little odd when confronted with changes in weather. We seem to be a few days behind, continui
