On a hike through the countryside yesterday I came across a group of horses in the field I was crossing. I've always got time for animals, and whilst I know absolutely nothing about horses in particular, I always stop for some quality time if I can. The horse gave me a sniff - they all do that - and for a moment let me stroke it. Then it reared its head and bared its teeth at me. The funny thing was, I knew exactly what that horse was saying.
"Ok, you've said hello, now get lost".
I to
Right then. The pavement is covered with undulating ice an inch thick. It's slippery, dangerous, and I'm fed up of risking my neck on it. So I retrieved my trusty spade from its burial place and got to work. I dug up a narrow path something like fifity to seventy yards long. Some pedestrians merely strode past me without a word, but three actually said thank you. I suspect an asian woman would have been number four but talking to strange caucasian shovel-wielders in the street isn't part of thei
So where was I at 09:25 this morning? Bet you can't guess... Oh, ok, you can. And you're right I was, waiting for the security guard to open the doors.
This morning the security guard began opening the doors, beginning with the coffee bar. A certain young man determined to be first up the stairs, brushed past and rushed inside, making his way around the back of the stairwell. Unfortunately on this occaision, he hadn't noticed the other guard opening the door to the stairway at the same time.
Time to start work on another row of cardboard boxes, all slightly deformed by the weight of those above them, and recognised only by marker pen grafitti. Stockchecking isn't rocket science. Open the box, count the contents, make a record of the result. It isn't always souch a welcome task however. In one warehouse a large bin stuffed with nearly eight hundred paperback books required a confirmation of the expected total and the bored individual left a penciled message "Probably" next to the opt
A doctors appointment at some ungodly hour of the morning forced me out of bed long before my unemployed body was ready to face another day. After all the trouble of using iron discipline and sheer willpower to push the duvet aside and start my epic journey to the bathroom, not to mention a long walk across town in the dark, they were locked when I arrived. Brilliant...
Good Morning Swindon
As the sky first began to brighten a bright star, or more properly some planet or other, was low abov
In the many news reports I've browsed through lately, I spotted one modest story that Britain is drying up. All this good weather comes at a price which means the lack of rainfall is going to cause the hosepipe bans and frantic questions in the Houses of Parliament. Curiously enough a recent television report showed a reservoir with dwindling water levels. Time to panic? Apparently not. Despite expert advice and lessons of the past, no-one seems particularly interested that our summer might prov
I wonder what would happen if the worlds population was decimated by a sudden deadly plague? Its not a pleasant thought. Without the restrictions of an ordered society, opportunism and lawlessness would rapidly take hold. A guy I knew at work once told me that since he knew all about nature and the wilderness and stuff, come the revolution he would survive. You know what? I doubt it. He might have an advantage - assuming he really does know something, and assuming he's actually had some practice
British weather is responsible for more conversations than hot dinners. Poems have been inspired by it. Well, I haven't exactly been that inspired over the last two days, now that our early spring sunshine has gone.
Two days ago the rot set in. There was a cold wind and the sky was claggy, humid, almost misty, and the sun was losing it's battle to burn this murk away. It was a quiet, reflective day. I wandered around Lawns (a park that was once the grounds of the local manor house) and peopl
A little while ago I bumped into a guy who was involved in battlefield re-enactment. There's a few of them around - this isn't the first time I've encountered re-enactors. Dressing up in historical costumes and pretending to fight? Isn;'t that a little sad? Well... That depends on your viewpoint.
Re-enactment is after all a practical study of how people conducted themselves in times gone by and for that matter they sometimes get heavily involved in historical research. In an era when the wr
Bored... Very bored... Okay, lets turn on the television. You never know, there might actually be something worth watching. I think most of us have noticed the irony of having hundreds more channels and hundreds less to watch.
As it happened, I stumbled on a program about sexually predatory women. Now, before you think I'm about to embark on a fantasy, this was a program that looked at the the changing morality in modern times with female affluence and internet anonymity, not to mention outr
The other night I was finished with my bad mood and instead became sort of reflective, thinking about things I'd done in the past, things I should have done in the past, and basically having a sort of middle aged moment. Not suprisingly I thought of my time as the drummer in Red Jasper.
It's funny how unique we were as a band in those days. First there was me. Never had a drummer been so reliable and still scary when I drove the van. Then there was Carlos Santana wannabe Robin Harrison. Nev
I got the good news last night. The International Monetary Fund have suggested that Britain might be in recession for as much as twenty years, struggling to pay off debts while the rest of the west recover nicely thank you. Twenty years? You mean I'm going to bleat on about the economy and my lack of good fortune for two more decades? Should I cancel the Ferrari then?
Now That I Come To Think Of It
Until a few years ago, life was simple. I had money in my pocket and a slightly fast car on t
Now and again you see some motorist doing something dumb. Commercial Road is one hazard area. It's a one way street and sure enough sooner or later someone doesn't spot the signs and proceeds against the flow of traffic totally bemused at the agression and 'lunacy' of other drivers.
Just lately it seems Regent Circus is becoming a hazard too. Not because of any chabges, it still remains a busy ring road like it has been for decades, but there's something peculiar. At the bottom of the hill
There are certainties in life. Day turns t night. Summer turns to winter. Bills arrive through the postbox. Nothing to watch on television. Luckily life isn't always that dull. Like yesterday. What a strange kind of evening.
To begin with the weather was fabulous. Another very warm day requiring liberal use of electric fans and cold drinks from the refridgerator. Despite this, the weathermen urged caution, because as the wise man knows, your typical briton has a memory span of three days and
Waiting outside the library for opening time has become something of a ritual for me. Its funny how its a daily ritual for a lot of others too, and the same faces keep on turning up. We pretty much arrive at our usual times, and line up in the same positions. The wonderful diversity of life hasn't quite colonised Swindon then.
As was easily predicted, the same librarian unlocked the door (We'll call her Miss K) , a fidgety thin girl who rushes around like a housefly. There's a power operated
The convulsions rippling through the moslem world recently seem a litle strange to me. Maybe I'm used to fundamentalist uprisings in the wake of Iran's revolution and the anti-western stance of their factions ever since, but I do note the popular unrest in Tunisia, Egypt, Bahrain, and now Lybia, where dissent is spreading among common folk. I must admit, it's a little baffling to me why there's a sudden change. Democratic movements in islamic countries? We're not used to hearing that.
For
It was one of those job interviews you just know is going to be a disaster before you start. The office where it took place is literally down the road from I live, an upstairs premises with only a single door on the street to mark its presence and a source of confusion as you wander back and forth expected something more impressive.
Having found the door (I always have trouble with doors - Douglas Adams fans please note) I noticed the gloomy staircase with a carpet left unwashed since the mi
Mr Palmer, the leader of East Lindsey District Council, is unhappy. Strange lights have been seen in the Midlands sky for a while now, and now a turbine blade from a wind generator tower has been ripped off near his turkey farm. He wants the authorities to look into the recent UFO activity and in particular the damage they caused to one of our turbines.
The Ministry of Defence however has shown absolutely no interest in the goings-on, telling us that they won't investigate unless they percei
On a normal working day, our local high street is busy. Two lanes of cars jostling for position between parked vehicles and the intermittent movement of buses. Pedestrians bringing the whole thing to a temporary halt on crossings, shoppers carrying heaps of plastic bags, queuing at ATM's, or simply standing around at bus stops for the next smoke belching leviathan to appear.
On a Sunday, the same street is empty. A few moslems walking to their local mosque but otherwise you wouldn't know the
Yesterday afternoon I braved the rain and popped down to the supermarket for my weekly needs. There's a magazine rack near the door from the central concourse and to be honest, I've long given up any interest in it. Basically the magazines on sale either tell you what's happening in the private lives of celebrities, what they're wearing this year, or how men can have a flat six-pack stomach like theirs.
This time though I noticed a copy of Mojo, an indie music publication intended for people
Swindon gets a lot of stick. It rains, it's boring, it's a no-go area for the fashionable. yet even one of our foremost critics, BBC's very own Top Gear, sometimes destroy cars just up the road from our undesirable borough (and show some magnificent views of Barbury Castle in the last episode. Come on guys, show some culture). So far however I have failed utterly to go hiking and walk past Wroughton airfield while they're filming. It's only a matter of time, chaps.
Joking aside, there are se
Today I got stabbed. The nurse pulled a huge metal needle from her bag of tricks and annoucned she was going to. I know the needle is actually a tiny little prod, but looking at the end of it wavering close by, it looks like one end of the Channel Tunnel. And she's going to push that into my arm? Yes, she is.
The happy ending is that I've survived my close encounter with the medical profession. It's interesting that the subject of health care is a big issue in Britain (again) as our coaliti
A couple of days ago I walked through the town centre. A street preacher was haranguing passers by with a disjointed sermon, triplets of words bellowed at the top of his voice as he sought someones attention, anyones attention.
"It's your choice!" He proclaimed, "You can choose!"
We certainly can, mate. We certainly can. We exercised our right and carried on about our lawful business. Except there are some people who are not permitted the same rights. They are not allowed to choose.
Part of my everyday routine is the search for suitable paid employment. Not everyone realises that of course. Many assume I'm a lazy layabout who wants to lay in bed all morning, lay in the sun all afternoon, and lay comatosed on a park bench all night.
Not for me. Lazing about is more or less as boring as owning a cheap japanese hatchback and spending my free time wearing a grey suit just for fun. To be honest searching for a job isn't really any more enjoyable. It's just that I know you'
Now this is a much warmer day. After a thirty minute walk to the programme centre I was sweating.
"Lovely day isn't it?" Said the young lady on the front desk. How she noticed that buried inside her air conditioned laminated trench is a mystery to me. Oh look, now I'm getting sweat all over the floor...
My mentor popped into the foyer to collect me with her usual polite cheeriness. She also mentioned what a nice day it was, and obviously concerned at my sweaty face enquired whether I had
