Beep... Beep... Beep...
The old womans mobility buggy goes into reverse gear for the seventh time as she fails utterly to negotiate the wide open space of the library lounge. Now she's stuck between shelving units with ten feet to spare.
That kind of sets the tone for the day. Oh hang on again, she's reversing again....
Okay, she's moved a few feet. That'll keep her happy for a a few minutes until she works out where she is. But as I was saying, today is proving to very annoying. One
Oh no! I've been so wrapped up in an interview this morning I've forgotten to do any job searching! Heresy! I'll be rendered destitute if the Job Centre finds that out (Please don't tell anyone).
With that minor disaster in mind I popped straight down to the library for a frantic internet browse of the job sites. The library is often crowded at lunchtime, and sure enough, not a free screen to be had. I'll have to book one. None of the computers have got a two hour slot available for the next
I notice the control unit for Evil Robot was missing from the customer services desk at the museum. Well, although I've got better things to do than remove his restraining bolt, if he fires up I've got no way to bring him under control. Luckily this was the quiet shift so the risk to the general public was minimal. Personally I was more in danger of dropping dead from boredom.
We had a visit from none other than DW, our intrepid online journalist. It's always good to hear from him because y
Yesterday may have been chilly, but once the sun broke out, it got warm with a vengeance. After an hours walk, I was sweating like nothing else. For a while, around midday, the sky was typically hazy with a few clouds peeking over the top. By the time I had gotten home, cumulus was building nicely.
Of course I should have realised. It's the Glastonbury Festival this weekend and how could our annual musical mudfest pass without torrential downpours? Would they get away with it this year? I on
Frozen Britain now seems to be a communal obsession. Tv news devotes nearly half the program to features of people suffering the effects of actual winter conditions. It sort of gives you a warm feeling toknow that however bad it gets, the next county has it worse.
The trouble is though these weather reports are really not that reliable. A couple of days ago they showed blankets of snowfall about to drop on southern England. With typical British time-keeping, it might be a day late.
Check
Another day, another supermarket checkout queue. My local vendor has just had a refit, and in the name of progress has installed a number of those hateful automatic tills, so the shop can save money on staff wages. Strange thing is though they've had to keep people on the payroll to show us ordinary members of the public how these machines work.
Every time I go there now a smiling happy shop assistant asks me if I want to try their gleaming new robots. I'm afraid to say their smile doesn't
This getting out of bed lark is starting to annoy me. Time was when I didn't mind, always rushing about to go here and there, but now? Another trek across Swindon for a doctors appointment.
Today they were going to give me a blood test. I suspect that has something to do with extracting a sample of the stuff, and since my body was designed by nature to keep all the precious red fluid inside, I also suspect some sort of puncture is required. Oh well. No pain, no gain.
So I booked in and w
Mid morning and it's already very, very warm. A couple of years ago we were coping with snow at this time of year. As I strolled past the newsagent at the bottom of the hill the headline boldly displayed on a tabloid was Hottest Easter For 100 Years. Did I really need to buy a newspaper to tell me that?
It gets better. Last night I saw a smog warning. Smog? I though that was banned by british law. The Clean Air Act of Before I Was Born. Now they're trying to tell us not to use our cars for s
There are people who think I do nothing but sit at home playing on my computer. Don't let them upset you Computer, they don't understand.. Ahem... Well, anyway from to time I drag myself away The great outdoors has an appeal for many of us and I'm no different, so occaisionally the urge to see over the next hill takes hold. I decided to get up early and hopefully catch some evocative sunrises or whatever. To my disappointment the weather was dull and cloudy as I left home at six in the morning.
According to the news, there's a record number of people being given counselling to make them give up being gay and go straight.
You know, I can't help feeling all this gay stuff is just ridiculous. To be fair, I don't know a lot about it (don't want to, it sounds a bit undesirable to my traditionalist view) but having been on the receiving end of ignorant opinion depicting me as one of their number, I do have some sympathy for those that choose that lifestyle.
Thats the trick isn't it?
Tony Blair once told us that he wanted everyone in Britain with an internet connecrtion. Now Gordon Brown is proclaiming "The Digital Revolution" and telling us that he sees the internet as an essential part of life, as much as basic services like gas, electricity, and water. The government sees this internet growth as part of their plan for recovery from the recession.
Well that's nice isn't it? Ordering breakfast by email to the missus, sending that spreadsheet to the kids so they know wha
They're back. Having reconnoitered the library the other day, an even greater horde of little barbarians have stormed the premises in a quest to occupy their equally little minds with positive activity. The teachers hiss and hush to no avail as they spot something that interests them and erupt into frantic efforts to point at something first.
"I'm only good at the world stuff." Said one child as a statement of his intellectual achievement. Well good for you son. They walked past me on the wa
There's a house I used to pass on a regular basis going back some thirty years now. As a dwelling, it wasn't anything special, but the combination of grubby stonework and detailed windows gave it a subtle hint of individuality. What really made a difference was the garden, a forlorn and neglected patch of withered trees and abandoned fishponds. It had that 'secret garden' feel to it, a real patina, almost a sense of camouflaged seclusion.
Sadly the house has been bought by new owners. The ga
Yesterday was signing on day. My fortnightly ritual has now changed from late in the afternoon to first thing in the morning, except that no-one seems entirely sure when. I approached the reception and handed them my booklet. The young man glanced at it and very helpfully told me to go away and come back in half an hour. Then he noticed some other detail on the page and looked confused.
"Wait here please."
Wait? At a dole queue? Thats novel....
Initiative of the Week
It seems our se
Another day, another dollar, and in order to earn my pittance, another early morning. It was dark outside when I strolled down the hil. On my left was the Old College site, looking a little forlorn behind its white painted plywood fence behind the impromptu hedge of brambles and discarded rubbish.
I always remain astounded by how quickly trees emerge from the seed. There's a small one that's growing just the other side of that white fence, only a year or two old. Birds have nested in it and
In my childhood there was an annual pilgrimage to Northumbria, where one side of my family originates from. Inevitably that meant a visit to Cullercotes and Whitley Bay. Any excuse to get down to the seaside. it's a very british obsession.
One year we stumbled across a puppet show performed in the traditional fashion by a couple of guys in a claustrophic box stood on the sand. Funny thing was, I found myself wrapped up in the antics of the puppet characters. He's behind you! Why doesn't he l
One of the advantages of digital broadcasts in the media is that you can watch television on your computer. I was doing that long before Windows 7 came out, so I'm afraid the young lady claiming on the advert that she thought of watching television on her PC and Windows 7 was her idea is talking out of her script.
As I'm sure you're aware, staring vacantly at the screen while you rapidly page through the available channels is typical human behaviour. In a state of mental numbness I strayed
Back when I started music, you basically had a choice of instruments. Good, expensive ones, or cheap rubbish. Music keyboards especially conformed to this pattern. That was the era when electronics were really starting to make themselves felt. The rubber pads of a ZX Spectrum micro-computer for instance. Not for me. I paid three times as much for a Dragon 32 because it had a decent keyboard. Nonetheless, a cardboard and polystyrene package containing a Spectrum arrived at our house one morning.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Caldrails Top Ten Show, where the latest hits are revealed to the unsuspecting audience.. Counting down to this weeks number one...
10 The Veronicas Untouched
What a mess. A mix of this, that, something else, and I'm not sure if the band knew they were playing the wrong gig.
9 Dizzy Rascal Bonkers (Down 3 places)
Can't say I ever liked Rap music. Can't honestly say I like this one, even if it does have a sense of humour and no-one gets shot in a drive-by. St
Britains terrorism threat has been raised from 'substantial' to 'severe'. The British public might not notice, the authorities claim. They're right, we won't, because unless an event actually happens life will go on as normal. A part of me is still a little suspicious though. I remember that moment some years back when the army cordoned off Heathrow Airport in a blaze of publicity. Was that a 'severe' threat situation? If so, where are all the tanks now?
I have wondered for some time that ev
Every week I attend a work club. You remember the film Full Monty? yep, that's us, a disparate group of individuals all sat for an afternoon plugging away despondently at our job search and ready for any high jinks to pass the time of day.
The chap who runs the club has obviously gotten bored of the shy silence that normally pervades our sessions. No-one seems keen to talk to each other, although last week we had a competition to find the stupidest vacancies online. I managed to find a chin
What a weekend. Hot sunny weather is something to be treasured. On my way through Town Gardens I just couldn't resist the temptation for a midday siesta, so I chose a wooden bench in a secluded spot and leant back. The sun was very hot. Even with my eyes closed I could see the light as a pale redness through my eyelids. Although the air wasn't actually warm, the gentle breeze felt like a welcome break.
My first interruption was a wood pidgeon making his moves on that classy female on the nex
Is it just me, or is there a change in the way our conflict in Afghanistan is being reported? The sad loss of eight soldiers in one day is something very revealing about modern warfare and our perception of combat. On the one hand, there are persistent calls for our troops to receive the equipment they so badly need. On the other, politicians are bemused and tell us this equipment is there. Further, an army spokesman said very clearly to a suspicious reporter that the army had the equipment they
My boss was busy. Downstairs, out on the shop floor, crowds of youngsters on their half-term holiday were pouring in through the door demanding the latest fashions to wear incorrectly. I, the unkempt apprentice, was given my chores for the day and left to complete them. This was going to be a trying day. Piles of boxes had been set aside for me to process and unpack. If only there were an easy way to deal with this onerous task... If only...
In the dark and stygian stockroom, I opened a cart
I have now finished my six months with New Deal, which means I get a new claims advisor, so at last I don't have to suffer that loathsome woman. She tried today to put a vacancy under my nose that I'd already discussed and decided was untenable. When I mentioned we'd already discussed that one, there was a flash of anger across her face. She very nearly went into another display of bovine outrage.
Another thing is that recently I applied for a job being handled by a recruitment agency. I rea
