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Gaius Octavius

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  1. Gaius Octavius

    Grrrrrr!

    By Gaius Octavius,

    Fellow Travelers:
     
    If it weren't for Pentagathus, this blog would be locked and deader than a dumb bell. For the which, I humbly thank him publically. I hope he doesn't come to regret it. The gods bless those who speak Latin and know computerese. :angel:
    Pertinax chipped in also :notworthy:
    If any are as ignorant as I am of this stuff, as old as I am, and want to open a blog, pay no attention to the instructions. Do the opposite of what you think you are being asked to do. :bag:
     
    ENGLISH! ENGLISH! BROKEN NEAPOLITAN IF NECESSARY!
     
    Courage Komrades, courage,
    Gaius the Dumb
  2. Gaius Octavius

    Bumbler!

    By Gaius Octavius,

    I didn't know that I was supposed to 'PUBLISH' my blog! So it's in a fouled up order. Maybe you can make something of it. Cretan!, Idiot!, that I am! And possibly find it in your hearts to forgive me - some day.
     
    My sainted mother used to tell me: "You'll learn - some day."
  3. Gaius Octavius

    Bah!

    By Gaius Octavius,

    My Dear Romans:
     
    My wine and beer are only a pleasant memory. Now my lasagne and coffee have joined the afore mentioned! The whiskey won't last out the day! The Empire is ancient history! The Yankees lost - again! Pertinax and Pentagathus are driving me . I had to have a corned beef sandwich for breakfast! The corned beef will have to last until lunch Monday! I have to go to two (2!) weddings! One is a serial polygynist. The other is a novice at it. Told them to do the jobs on some mountain top in Italy where the goats roam. No luck! Tried to get the parents to forego the caterers and give the good golden guilders to the soon to be blissful newly weds rather than to the divestment bankers (caterers). Again, my bad luck held up. Dropped a pill this AM and it disappeared into a black hole! Lipitor is gone, ergo cheese is off the menu. Can't remember the difference between the words 'anyone' and 'anybody'. Been trying to for years. There is a difference, don't you know? Obviously the folic acid is of no help.
    What's left? Lithium, Avodart and *iagr*!
     
    Going to take my mid morning nap and cogitate on harry-carry. Probably will befoul any effort to that end.
     
    Iupiter, why?
    Gaius
  4. Gaius Octavius

    Grumbles

    By Gaius Octavius,

    Fellow Sufferers:
     
    Seems that the Canadian Moslems want to assimilate, i.e., on their terms. They will determine what 'sin' is. My sometimes faulty logic tells me that means Canadians will have to do the assimilating. I'll pass and turn in my honorary Prince Edward Island citizenship. Then, there is a group of these ruffians who want to hack off the premier's head. I'm sure that that is a go for some Canadians.
     
    For a prize, let's see who can use the word 'that' in a row, (without any intervening words), the most times and still make sense.
     
    The mail brought in some very good news. My Brides Health Maintainence Org. just upped
    the monthly rate by $100. That makes it $7,344/annum. Considering that a stay in a hospital costs two grand a day, that's a bargain! IF one uses it, otherwise it goes into the deep pockets of top management.
    I often wonder why the neopath trash talkers prefer to pay their taxes to an HMO with an average 18% overhead per premium dollar vs Medicare's less than 2%. Iupiter forbid that one has to go to a hospital or doctor when one is traveling out of their area of coverage. A nurse (!) located in Tanu Tuva will have to OK it, IF your shade doesn't cross the River Styx first. The CENSORED .
     
    Now the beer has run out! I thank Minerva for paper plates.
     
    I think that I have been banned from the Racist topic of Ramses! Banned, I said! Where is Mr. Roberts? :2guns:
     
    And the Yankees lost - again
     
    Dear Lord,
    Gaius
    SPQR
  5. Gaius Octavius

    Test

    By Gaius Octavius,

    Komrades:
     
    I am technologically challenged, (amongst many other things).
    This is a test as to what happens.
    I love this site and the people on it. In addition to getting an education on my Glorious Imperial Ancestors of Blessed Memory, I am getting to learn something about using this devils machine.
    About myself:
    I lie and obfuscate when necessary.
    I never pay off on a bet that I have lost, but I expect others to cough up when I win.
    I have no problems with plagerizing.
    I can't spell. (Is there a spell checker here?)
    I am a retired Investment Banker. (The kind who used his own gold and not others.)
    I am considered lazy, evil and ignorant by some.
    To friends, relatives and enemies, I am on the wrong side politically, socially and eonomically.
    No one insults me with impunity - and gets away with it.
     
    And now:
    The U.S. is pulling out of Afganistan and the Taliban is pushing in. What a waste. Where is Osama? Why in Brooklyn eating pizza.
     
    My Bride took off for the wastes of Michigan to visit friends and get away from me, (for a fortnight) and I am left to fend for myself. A gorgeous young Princess from Michigan, for whom we are acting in loco parentis, is doing an internship in NYC. Some would call it indentured servitude. She spent the last weekend with me. I am sure that my neighbors and the building employees are musing: "His Bride takes off and IT installs a chick." A totally undeserved merit badge. The malignant swine! The kid won't pour a whiskey for me and is on my back about another bad habit of mine.
     
    A cap on a bottle of gook was left unscrewed. Made a mess of the fridge. Gook is forever off of the menu.
    My jug wine has run out but the rot gut whiskey is fine.
     
    Did you know that the province of Michigan has a giant mushroom growing under it? That Detroit sits atop a salt mine? Now you do.
     
    Now to see if all this takes. Somebody please post a 'comment'.
     
    Si vales; valeo,
    Gaius
  6. Gaius Octavius
    Komrades:
     
    This may be my last blog due to a certain post of mine. So....
    ----------------------------------------------------------
     
    And now for some cultural reportage.
     
    To start with, it is El Cinco de Mayo once again.
     
    You've all heard the libelous term 'Italian Football Wedding', but you probably never had the pleasure of having attended one, since the most of you are barbarians. Herein, I shall describe one to you. But, for contrast, I shall open things with an inter-racial and inter-religious affair. My cousin's kid, an Eyetalian Roman Catholic, wedded himself off to a Jewish lass. Unfortunately, I was invited to the doings. Had to give the kids a present! The festivities took place at some ritzy North Shore Lon Giland yacht club. The opening goodies were Jewish, Chinese (natch!) and Italian. The Jewish goodies were mostly glommed before Consort and I got there, so we had to settle for the other slops. I know that you won't believe that Jewish goodies are top of the line, because of the way their regular cooking stinks (literally) to the high heavens. Probably to get God's attention. Anyway, both races mingled amicably. No brawls at all. When it came to the knot tying bit, a rabbi and a priest's time was wasted. I thought to myself, why not have a mullah and a pastor, really cement things? I also indicated to any who would listen, that since I am a defrocked priest, I would do the work, and at a small discount, since blood was involved. No one paid any attention. Somehow, I wound up behind everyone. Bride muscled her way up front. Since I couldn't hear or see what was going on, I summoned a steward and required him to fill a few beakers of Scotch and to deposit them on a balcony table. There I repaired, alone and peaceful, to watch the yachts bobble and the gulls enjoy themselves. Gulls and I do not see eye to eye on much. I hate the flying garbage cans with a passion beyond passion. Their object in life is to strafe the Imperial Chariot. There I sat, peacefully and alone, enjoying the libations and puffing away at cancer sticks. Unknowingly, (Like bloody hell!), I flipped the puff butts into the air. The gulls would swoop down and knock them back. God!, it was a pleasure to see them perform insane acrobatics whilst screeching their gizzards out. Yup! They got even with me. Never missed the target of their desires. Had a speckled burgundy chariot. Dinner was great. Anything one wanted - even pork.
     
    Now, off to the object of this Journal. The broom's party would hit the church and assemble at the altar reeking of booze, and holding their heads, as a result of the recently terminated bachelor party. Very dirty jokes were swapped when the boys could coordinate the operations of brain and tounge. The priest, who had just adjourned the poker game at Dinty Moore's Back Room, put in a lordly appearance. The opposing Families sat across the nave from each other, taking every opportunity to glare at each other. Did I mention that this was an inter-racial marriage - Calabrese versus Barese? Iron heads against kerosene people? Don't get it? Forget it! After some extended while, the brides party shows up and marches up the nave. Oh! How beautiful! Pigs! She deserves much better. The witch can't cook. How handsome. Schmuck. (Yes, schmuck is an Eyetalian word.) Why doesn't he/she marry one of his/her own? The worst of ours, is better than the best of theirs. Even a Sicilian would be better. The priest does his thing, and the guests of honor agree to all the lies. All march down the nave to the feigned approbation of the enemies. When the happy couple get outside the church, they are pelted with rice. (I always thought that that stuff was grace.) After a short hiatus, all repair to the church hall, which is a combination basketball court/theatre. The tables are set up in an upside down 'U' fashion. Each has a bottle of Seagrams, a bottle of Teachers, and a few gallons of Gallo's Very Best. The beer is in kegs at the open end of the U. Here also repose several grosses of Italian hero sandwiches, clothed in butcher's paper, from Nickie's Gourmet Emporium. A band is stuck somewhere thereabouts. The bride and broom, along with their attendants, sit at the head table. The band strikes up a tarantella. The little boys commence doing cart wheels on the stage. The little girls start picking nits out of each other's hair. The opposing quarter backs start passing the heros. Gaspare, fried eggplant? Zi Pep, pepper and eggs? Don Cicci, meat balls? Fiatella, ham and provolone? Gina, mortadella? After a bit, the bride traipses about the tables picking up the cash (No checks, please.), in the folds of her wedding dress. Oh, none of your useless presents - we'll get our own. She dishes out candied almonds in a porcelain swan. Now, everyone goes about dancing and b. essing. Guguzio happens to espy his personal bookmaker, Irving, who has been somewhat tardy paying off. Ugly words turn into fisticuffs. Every one takes a hand in matters, settling old scores with anyone who comes into view. Even the ladies have a good hair pulling. Bras and corsets wind up on the basketball hoops. Priest retires to poker game. Irish cops are summoned. One winds up in a garbage barrel wrong side up with a zucchini sticking out of his nether part. Things don't go as planned for cops. They call for Italian back up. No Way! Cops retreat; back to fun and games. Things settle down and the canoli, sfoiliatelle, and Napoleons are passed around. Espresso with anisette. (Sorry, no eXpresso!) All good things must come to an end. So people pick themselves up as best they can, and start loading up on the remaining goodies and booze. There are some minor encore scuffles. Once safely tucked in bed, husband and wife exclaim that it was such a great affair, but.... Didn't Aunt Angelina look stupid in that outfit. The marriage won't last out the year.
  7. Gaius Octavius

    Church.

    By Gaius Octavius,

    Komrades:
     
    Father M. stopped cold in his tracks at the altar. Nah, not in MY church! Millions of thoughts can traipse through the human mind at once. Was it a bosons pipe? The wind through an open window? A deranged Black Protestant? Nah, I have a Truce of God with Father F. at the Episky operation. The altar boys, who had just made easy work of the communion wine, were sniggering. They knew. A vicious glance from the kindly padre put an end to their hilarity. The nuns were alarmed and thus alerted. This abomination came from the area of the Fourth Station of the Cross. That was the public school kid's territory. They had no respect.
     
    The reason for the foregoing is summed up thus: In the late 40's and early 50's, guys signed up before being drafted. Only one of our guys got thrown out of the navy. He had a penchant for falling out of his bunk. We were suspicious of him. In reality, a draft dodger? A communist? A future president? When the guys came home on leave, we would all gather at the flag pole, real genuine pizza, pepperoni, and beer to hand. (In those days, the flag went up and down with the sun.) These guys would tell the most hilarious, truly filthy jokes for hours. During a hiatus, we young ones would wash down the bricks under foot. Nothing would dare to grow between the cracks. Someone would shinny up the flag pole and get the rope; wind it around the pole and then take a ride round the pole hanging on for dear life from the rope. There was a down side to this bit. If one dropped off too early, he crashed into the bricks or the steps. Too late, and he bashed his head on the hollow pole with a resounding Booowng. The goodies and jokes usually ran out at the same time. There was a Greek guy, Andy. He had a neck like a johnny-pump; his name used the entire alphabet - several times. Something about Constantinople. Strong like the bull! But he was such an easy going lad. He had a new 1950 black Pontiac. We all would pile into and onto it. Then it was off to Boro Park for fresh bagels. (Did you know that there are 13 bagels in a dozen?) In lieu and/or subsequent to that, it was off to Coney Island for hot dogs and sauerkraut at Nathan's. We'd buy gaggles of them. Andy would curse out the Jewish guys serving up the dogs - in Greek, and with that ever present smile. No one knew what curses the Jewish guys flang at us. Then it was back home and off to a metal door down the docks. We each took turns at the same spot and in the end sliced it open. I think that you all are personally aware of the other results of these affairs. And thus it was the Saturday before the Sunday Mass we speak of here.
     
    To continue. As one whistle tailed off another tailed on. (So to speak.) The wax in Fr. M's ears melted. The sound of a Gatling gun then chimed in. Almost popped Fr. M's skull. Fr. M couldn't leave the altar. But the nuns were on the way. Some rowdies in the general area of this most mortal sin were seen to have their faces buried in their hands as they knelt. Were they praying? Covering up their laughing or the crime itself? When the clicker signaled sitting, it seems as if it also signaled a broadside from Yamato's 18 inchers. It echoed off the back of the pew. A general cacophony of artillery ensued. Some have claimed that Fr. M's head was now on fire. Some urchins in the vicinity of the launch zone were gagging; some had tears in their eyes; a couple had passed out. One is alleged to have gone blind. A final great WOOOOFFFF channeled itself up a scoundrel's shirt and out of his collar. All was silence as the nuns reached the kill zone and passed out.
     
    The bishop was immediately summoned to re-sanctify the church. God, himself, was ticked off! You all do know that God lives in the Vatican; speaks Latin, (Gave up on Greek.), and has a nice bit of lasagna with the Pope after Mass?
     
    Now we come to Confession. It was standard practice for the louts to kneel in a pew and observe who came out of which confessional and what he was up to. If he was on his knees with a Rosary in his hands and rambling about the church, this was not to be your confessor. Sometimes mistakes were made. The next Saturday one of our heroes blundered. Bless me father for I have sinned most grievously. I broke wind at Mass Sunday last. Wuuuhaht? That was your work? Fly! Flee! Escape! The kid charged out of the confessional and bashed his head on the back of the last pew. He saw rockets and many stars. But this was no time to pass out. That would have to wait for later. Much later.
     
    It was a great Mitzvah that these doings did not take place in a crowded elevator or on an escalator.
     
    Cecil

  8. Gaius Octavius
    Now some god damned WOP is at it!
     
    "" CONGRATULAZIONI "
     
    Gentile Cliente,
     
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    Per ricevere il bonus и necesario accedere ai servizi online entro 48 ore dalla ricezione di questa e-mail.
     
    Il bonus le sarrа accreditato nelle prossime 72 ore.
     
    Importo bonus vinto: 249,00
    Commissioni: 1,00
    Importo totale: 250,00
     
    Accedi ai servizi online per accreditare il bonus fedeltа
  9. Gaius Octavius
    This is a little late in coming as it goes to subscribers first.
    ---------------------------------------
     
     
    My Children:
     
    The babbling and lying is all over in Iowa! But the air-waves are still polluted with the gas heads' condescending explanations of how, when, where, and why. Look, this is how it stands:
     
    Rev. Huckleberry vs Obama :: Faith vs Hope. No Charity whatsoever.
     
    Headlines in November:
     
    Obama Sweeps South Carolina, Florida, and Ohio. Wins By Landslide.
    Rev. Huckleberry Takes NY. Swears Himself in as Prez.
    Bloomberg Elected Veep.
    Osama Invited to White House for Tea & Pita.
    Bush & chinney Cuffed.
    Flush Rimflour Administers Auto D' Fe to Himself.
     
    And now, let the gouging, swearing, and lying commence in New Hampsheershire!
     
    I propose that Ohio be renamed Ocato. Just as easy, and makes more sense. Why?, some may ask.
     
    News stories I would have liked to have heard:
    Man gets a hair cut in Albania. Wetbacks used by Bechtel to build border fence and tunnels. Ron Paul takes a regular last name - Smith. Sen._______ goes into 'The Closet' directly from the men's room. Mayhem at the Vatican - Pope converts to Islam - Dalai Lama takes over. Bush wins Pulitzer. Hitler's love child found in UK. NY to tax sex. Plush Plim-Plammer goes Liberal. Prince Charles accepts US throne - primary B/S finished forever.
     
    Now, me buckos, take your lithium pill; put some aspirin in a handy spot, and grab hold of your chairs:
    Ron Paul was the only one who made any sense yesterday in those 'debates'!!! Still amongst the 'quick'? Let me know, so that I may clean out the 'recent'.
     
    A man never really loses his hair. It simply wanders from his pate to his eyebrows, nostrils, cheeks, and ears.
     
    I have a question: If a Moslem man blows himself, (and a gaggle of others), to kingdom come, he gets 71 virgins. Right? Now, if a woman of the same persuasion, does likewise, what does she get?
    I ask; you tell.
     
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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    Call Suicide 12345; ask for Shiskabab. No refunds.
     
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  10. Gaius Octavius
    Done with the permission of the contra party (Praebitorae).
    -----------------------------------------------------------000--------------------------------------------------------------------
     
    QUOTE
    "Hey, My Lady:
     
    Actually, it's not very funny to me.
     
    These sub-morons drive me to distraction. Yeah, lets kill all the Jews! Even the doctors who are keeping me alive! Even my neighbors! The ones I joke with, and have lunch with. And then there was my Grand Aunt, who may have been Jewish. Liberini, an orphan, who I loved as much as my Mother. Just great! We can do without all that the Jewish people have contributed to mankind. General Eisenhower and President Truman had those beastly, inhuman murder camps filmed for posterity. On that account, Gen. Eisenhower wouldn't accept Adm. Doernitz' surrender. I have a lot of whiskey in me now, so I'm not going to hold back. (Somehow, I can no longer use the word 'Jews'. It seems so deprecatory to me.)
    That bastard, hitler, should have been strangled at birth. Kill people because of their religion, race, deformities or sexual proclivities? That bastard was a pervert of the worst kind. Some of my Jewish friend's parents served honorably in the German army of WWI. They were Germans and never deserved what those bastards did to them.
     
    I am often sorry to say that I am a Christian, when I read of pogroms and ghettos. We didn't mind borrowing Jewish peoples' money though.
     
    O! G_d, this is enough!
     
    Try to contribute to the 'Gold' blog."
     
    Response:
     
    "Hey
     
    I hope it did good to throw it all out.
    And of course you're right all the way, beeing a Habiruh myself I KNOW what you're talking about.(I don't use the term Jews. Even if the Habiruh are just a tinny little group)
    The man's apparant stupidety and bleatnant ignorance was more the reason why I laughed about him.
    From Nephele you might have heard that I happend to be a deaf mute a herritance that goes straith back to exactly those camps I have thus no love for Germans in general.
    My granny was one of twins and captured in Normandy I need not tell you explecit where she was brought to....
    There are good Germans ofcourse (my dad would say "Lets hang them on NEW ropes!"
    If I am correct in the numbers about 12.500 Germans of Habiruh birth where decorated in W.W.1.
     
    We must learn to forgive is a sentence often spoken at us, but the essence of being a Habiruh is to "remmember" becourse THAT'S what the word believe means in Hebrew!
    It's hard to forgive if one (still!) see's the effects of what has been done in this dreadfull years by these dreadfull people.
    Even I (2d generation) must fear not to give birth to a girl for she (3th) could easely inherit from me what I have!
     
    Can I blame the young Germans of today? should I do onto them what I would not like done onto me? one would say no.
    I have however understood that many young Germans still hang on and even romantisaise that piece of history often even denouncing many things to have happend.
    This people we call the "forever yesterday's" there to be found in all kind off German forums and indeed in the I.R of wich I gave you a link (I thought you to be there chieff, remember?.)
     
    You should absolutly NOT be ashamed beeing a Christian, wasn't Michael Angelo one ore Mother Theressa? not to forget my own dad no,its not the Relegion that shames (ore should) people its the thing people make of it thinking they know what God wanted or mend!
    If youre heart is pure it matters nought what others do with that Religion for Adonai sees into yours and judges you for youre deeds disregarding the upinion of others.
    Adonai doesn't gamble!
     
    Greetings
    'E"
     
     
    My Beautiful Lady:
     
    Would you please allow me to put our two notes above into my blog? I will only use you name if you allow me. Those bastards should NEVER be forgotten! Or FORGIVEN. My Beautiful Lady, stupidity and ignorance are not to be laughed at. It should be condemned eternally.
     
    Your friend,
    Tom
     
     
    Pleace do so ,I read the Blog and wrote a small piece to it.
    Sometimes things do just take some time with me.
    Those people won't be forgotten neither forgiven as we never fogave Pharao for holding us in Slavery or the Romans for bringing the Diasporra upon us.
    In a Thousand years we'll still memmorate those killed by the Germans and the name of Hitler will never vanish from oure memmory.
    The names of sibbelings of mine that died during my life time will never be forgotten nor the name of the one to blame the Nuhnt called Mengle!
    Last year we had the satifaction off seeing my uncle robbing the Mengle family of a large part of Joseph Mengle's herritage (wich he had invested into there buisness in 1945/46)
    Some,if late and far to less, iustice still can be found in this world but we have to fight for it and we can only fight the right way if we controlle oure feelings of hate and revenge how understandable they might be.
     
    Eich ffrind chi (chi =more abt less formal than "ce" )
    Youre Friend
    'E
  11. Gaius Octavius

    Lt. Col. Mac

    By Gaius Octavius,

    Burial Notice - Mc Inerney‏
     
    Sent: Mon 9/17/07 5:58 PM
    To: All Mac's Friends
     
    At 1:00 PM on Thursday, 11 October 2007 Lieutenant Colonel Bernard Michael Mc Inerney will be buried at Arlington National Cemetery, Arlington, Virginia. It will be a Graveside Cremate Service. Full honors will be observed (band, escort, caisson, body bearers, firing party.) One body bearer will carry his first wife
  12. Gaius Octavius

    Eureka!

    By Gaius Octavius,

    New element discovered!
     
    The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a
    new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced
    the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.
     
    The new element has been named *Governmentium*.
    Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy
    neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
    312.
     
    These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
    surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since
    Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected,
    because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A
    minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction which would normally
    take less than a second - to take over four days to complete.
     
    Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but
    instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
    neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's
    mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will
    cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
     
    This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
    that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
    concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical
    Morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium -
    an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it
    has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
  13. Gaius Octavius

    "Prince...."

    By Gaius Octavius,

    "Out swords and to work with all."
     
    "Prince, pray God that is Lord of all, pardon your soul, for your time has come."
     
    "...and came to tell me - what?"
     
    "...this nose of mine that marches on before me by a quarter of an hour."
     
    "No, no my own dear love, I love you not."
     
    "...there he is, shod in marble; gloved in lead...."
     
    ------------------
     
    "Cyrano De Bergerac"
     
    The Majesty! The Glory! The Panache! The Honor! The Pathos!
     
    These last few days, I have had the pleasure of seeing that flic again (for the umpteenth time). When a picture is done well, all of the elements blend as in a great symphony. The inimitable Jose Ferrer leads a marvelous cast of supporting actors. He won the 1950 Academy Award for 'Best Actor' for this pic. His diction; voice; emotion; gestures; un-exceeded.
     
    No blood; no gore. If one stretches his mind to its most outer limits, he will know that a person has been killed.
     
    As one may see, I do not think very highly of this movie.
  14. Gaius Octavius

    Pantagathus II.

    By Gaius Octavius,

    I am sure that all y'all have noted that My Lord of the Greeks, Pantagathus :notworthy: is AWOL. You have also probably noted that he is now from Erebus. Blackness! The Son of Chaos! Mt Erebus is the world's southern most volcano, and the largest by volume. He is presently having Vulcan make a sword for him to get at those pesky weresquirrels and the protohominid who invaded the manor house. :sniper:
     
    When matters are settled, My Lord :notworthy: will search for another place to come from.
     

  15. Gaius Octavius

    Murder!

    By Gaius Octavius,

    Komrades (You too DoL):
     
    Errol Flynn was a Tasmanian.
    The Tasmanian cricket team is called the Tigers, ergo,
    A live Tasmanian Tiger has been sighted! (Really.)
     
    It has come about that two former NYC cops were convicted of 'conspiracy to murder'. Were convicted in Federal Court. Conviction overturned because of Statute of Limitations on conspiracy. Convicts want to be set loose amongst citizenry. Feds want to charge convicted with 'murder' in state court now. What's this double jeopardy thing all about? Option B: Didn't those schiesters know the law?
     
    Germanicus and Genevra seem to be on French Leave.
     
    An electricity outrage has been going on for nearly a fortnight for some of the polloi here in NYC. The CEO of Con-Ed is much too busy 'solving the problem' to deal with criticism. Another 'problem solver'!!!, that Censored . Yet, the masses and particularly the aged and infirm, who live in high rises, and need electricty to operate their water pumps and elevators are in a pickle when it comes to taking a CENSORED or a CENSORED . Down into the kings highway or out the window? Watch out below! Will they be protected from the ever present geeks with their picture phones? In the most unlikely event that a citizen will ever need a sip of water, mayhaps to pop a pill, he will have to walk down only God knows how many flights (Oh! yes, and back up.), to tap a johnny-pump. If the CEO wasn't so busy figuring out how to commit ledger-demain to fill his vaults with gold, that SAINTS, PRESERVE US! would have known that there is something called MAINTAINANCE. The komrades are paying through the beak for it.
     
    Some practitioner of the arcane arts wants to clone a Neanderthal. Why go through all that bother when a specimen is available in the White House?
     
    With regard to Medicareless Part D. Some of our 'valued' Senior Citizens in their Rusty Years, many of whom have lost their pensions due to the impostures of CPA's, fat catz and the SEC, have entered the 'dough nut hole', more aptly called the Black Hole. Those few sheckels that they saved at first are turning into a bankruptcy now. Where are the billions turned over to the poor pharmaceutical and insurance companies going? Certainly not into the purses of top management. One of the neopaths, in the administration, has informed the rabble that if they will call Medicareless, they will be enlightened about generic drugs for what ails them. YOU ARE PRACTICING MEDICINE WITHOUT A LICENSE!, you bustard. There are generics for CANCER, CHOLESTEROL, STROKE??? Hah??? You miserable, moronic, mangy, mongrelate, mutant, no account ninny twit and WHERE DOES HE GET THIS?
     
    Time for me to take a pill; take a drink; take a nap,
    Caius
  16. Gaius Octavius

    Blaagh!

    By Gaius Octavius,

    Good Morning World:
     
    In NYC, there is a whacko, wrong wing, illiterate, radio trash talker and rectal ranger extraordinaire named curtis sliwa. He wears a silly red beret. Mangles English and whatever Italic language he thinks that he is speaking. Unfortunately, he was almost 'put down' by some mobsters. This clod hoped that the U.S. would lose yesterday! Because soccer is an un- American sport! Claudio is an un-American name!
    Never trust a person with two last names. To his credit, he has a number of graduate degrees earned at the Schola Skellorum. :punk:
     
    The other day, the Department of Environmental Protection shut my building's water off without so much as a how-do-you-do. What about my 'environment', you CENSORED Had to wash my face with rubbing alchohol, (Good for the eyes.), preparatory to the co-op's annual meeting. Things went well until some jerko (Should that be 'jerker'?), decided to use my kind of language. Had to go at him with :2guns:
     
    An obscure item in the news indicated that some good folks, who advocate the religion of peace, have sawed off the heads of a couple more defenseless chaps and administered a little more mayhem. I wonder why these good people want so much to go to the countries of the peoples they hate so much.? :wub:
     
    War is good!
  17. Gaius Octavius

    Ahgrrrruh

    By Gaius Octavius,

    Comrade Sojourners:
     
    In re Medicare Part 'D'. The drug companies got 4 billion smackeroos; the insurance companies 1 1/2; and old folks got the shaft. It seems that one may only get a 30 day supply of a drug that one will take for the rest of his life. That CENSORED
    Speaking of that OH! MY GOD! I hope that he gets a ride in a Hum-Vee while in Baghdad. Even better if he takes the rest of his mob with him and they all wear those worthless helmets.
     
    A couple of baseball commentators on Fox got poisoned eating mussels in Detroit. Don't eat the mussels in Detroit. Better still, skip Detroit. Nonetheless, I commend mussels in Detroit to the rest of the Fox trash talkers. And Ann Coulter, that sallow bag of bones and bad manners, had the crust to send me (of all people) an e-mail hawking her garbage!
     
    A poster on this site had the smarts to say "I was graduated...." rather than the solecistic "I graduated...."
     
    The latest Somali gangsters, who are running the rackets there now, have banned the World Cup. Hacking heads off still on the menu?!.
     
    A coyote has been caught in Central Park (NYC). Weredogs (Oh, Yes!) have been seen in Prospect Park (Brooklyn). The outlying provinces have nothing on us when it comes to monsters!
     
    It will take all the old gods to help us,
    Basil Fawlty
  18. Gaius Octavius
    WISDOM - FROM THE MILITARY MANUAL
    "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit.
    - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
    ------------------------------------------------------
    "Aim towards the Enemy."
    - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
    ------------------------------------------------------
    "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
    -U.S.Marine Corps
     
    ------------------------------------------------------
    "Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
    - USAF Ammo Troop
    ------------------------------------------------------
    "If the enemy is in range, so are you."
    - Infantry Journal
    -----------------------------------------------------
    "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed"
    -U.S.Air Force Manual
    ------------------------------------------------------
    "Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."
    - General Macarthur
    -----------------------------------------------------
    "Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."
    - Infantry Journal
    ------------------------------------------------------
    "You, you, and you . Panic. The rest of you, come with me." - U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
    ------------------------------------------------------
    "Tracers work both ways."
    -U.S.Army Ordnance
    -----------------------------------------------------
    "Five second fuses only last three seconds."
    - Infantry Journal
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "Don't ever be the first, ! don't ev er be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything."
    -U.S.Navy Swabbie
    ---------------------------------------------------
    "Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
    - David Hackworth
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."
    - Infantry Journal
    --------------------------------------------------------
    "No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
    - Joe Gay
    ------------------------------------------------------
    "Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once."
    ------------------------------------------------------
    "Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
    - Unknown Marine Recruit
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
    - Your Buddies
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "If you see a bomb technician running, follow him."
    - USAF Ammo Troop
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "Though I Fly Through theValleyof Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
    - At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating baseKadena, Japan
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky."
    - >From an old carrier sailor
    ------------------------------------------------------
    "If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
    ----------! -------- -------------------------------------
    "When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club."
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .... The pilot dies."
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "Never trade luck for skill."
    -------------------------------------------------------
    The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" And "Oh S...!"
    ------------------------------------------------------
    "Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant"
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight."
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication."
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous."
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    "Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries."
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."
    --------------------------------! -------- ----------------
    "The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you."
    - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
    --------------------------------------------------------
    "A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum."
    - Jon McBride, astronaut
    --------------------------------------------------------
    "If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible."
    - Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
    --------------------------------------------------------
    "Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."
    - Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    "If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."
    -------------------------------------------------------
    "You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal."
    --------------------------------------------------------------
    As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?".
    The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"
    - Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)
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