Talk to Caesar

[M. Porcius Cato]

This is priceless. Now you can ask Caesar anything you'd like, click here.

 

Here's an excerpt from my conversation with Virtual Caesar:

 

Cato: "Where did you get all that hair?"

Virtual Caesar: "My hair is unimportant. It is the mind underneath it that matters."

 

Cato: "What were you doing with the king of Bithynia for so long?"

Caesar: "You did not intend to provoke me. I am well aware of the vicious rumors about my relationship with "that painted trollop" started by Lucullus... [blah blah blah]"

 

Cato: "That whole pirates thing was just a fib, wasn't it?"

Caesar: "There are a lot of things we can discuss: my military campaigns, my service as advocate, even my brief career as flamen dialis"

 

Cato: "There you go again. You were denied the flamenate!"

Caesar: "Really, I am only a man of the times in which I lived"

 

Cato: "Does that excuse your violation of the treaty with the Germans?"

Caesar: "Can we please talk about something else? Why don't you ask me about my family"

 

Cato: "OK. Why were you divorced so many times?"

Caesar: "I exist to serve Rome. Most of my actions are the result of trying to glorify and enrich Rome."

 

Cato: "You divorced Poppaea to enrich Rome?"

Caesar: "Rome is the center of the world! A thriving city with spectacular entertainments, luxurious baths, exciting debates, and gleaming marble temples and villas."

 

Cato: "Yes, I'm quite fond of Rome."

Caesar: "Rome is the center of the world! A thriving city with spectacular entertainments, luxurious baths, exciting debates, and gleaming marble temples and villas."

 

Cato: "You said that already."

Caesar: "I exist to serve Rome. Most of my actions are the result of trying to glorify and enrich Rome."

 

Cato: "OK, now you're just being silly."

Caesar: "Really, I am only a man of the times in which I lived"

 

Cato: "Ugh. I think I'll leave you alone with Brutus now."

Caesar: "Alas, I treated Brutus as my own son. I'm sure he loved Rome as I do and surely thought he acted to protect the Republic."

[Nephele]

I can't get it to work! I think you broke Caesar, Cato!

 

-- Nephele

[Lost_Warrior]

Oh no, Caesar is broken!! Poor Caesar!

 

It froze my Firefox.

[G-Manicus]

I can't get it to work! I think you broke Caesar, Cato!

 

-- Nephele

Same here.

 

Ay-yai-yai, Cato! I thin' you has some 'splainin' to do!

[M. Porcius Cato]

Oh my! Maybe I was speaking to the one, true shade of Caesar... and here, I left my dagger at home.

[Gaius Octavius]

GO: Why are some folks so interested in making of you a catamite?

C: Self projection.

 

Go: Should Cato have bumped himself off a lot earlier?

C: Would have saved some trouble.

 

GO: What do you think of Cicero?

C: He always stood on his left foot.

 

GO: You like the women?

C: You bet your caligae!

 

GO: What was Cleopatra like?

C: None of your business.

 

GO: Did you leave Brutus anything in your will?

C: Yup. Bad luck.

 

GO: Who is the greatest commander ever?

C: Scipio Africanus.

 

[M. Porcius Cato]

Has anyone had more luck with this page? Really too bad if you can't enjoy it on PCs.

[Gaius Octavius]

Has anyone had more luck with this page? Really too bad if you can't enjoy it on PCs.

 

I know what you are getting at,(and will KIM), but obviously I did.

 

Edited December 5, 2007 by Gaius Octavius

[Nephele]

Has anyone had more luck with this page? Really too bad if you can't enjoy it on PCs.

 

This little dog is more responsive than Caesar.

 

And doesn't wee on the Republic, either.

 

-- Nephele

[M. Porcius Cato]

OK, I just had a second conversation with Virtual Caesar. (This is really too fun--I can't believe it doesn't work on PCs).

 

Cato: Who is the greatest commander ever?

Virtual Caesar: Alexander the Great. He conquered the known world before the age of 33. At that age, I had not yet even been entrusted with a significant command.

 

Cato: What was Cleopatra like?

Virtual Caesar: Ah, the last of the Ptolemies.. such an enchanting woman.

 

Cato: What do you think of Cicero?

VC: Cicero's gift for oratory made him a treasure of Roman culture. It's too bad he used his gift unscrupulously to defame his enemies and subvert the constitution.

 

Cato: You're telling ME about the constitution?

VC: What exactly is on your mind?

 

Cato: Why are some folks so interested in making of you a catamite?

VC: I exist to serve Rome most of my actions are the result of trying to glorify and enrich Rome?

 

Cato: You mean you served as a catamite for the good of the republic?

VC: Really, I am only a man of the times in which I lived.

 

Cato: But surely even Cato would object to serving as a catamite merely to enrich Rome!

VC: Rome is the center of the world! A thriving city with spectacular entertainments, luxurious baths, exciting debates, and gleaming marble temples and villas.

 

Cato: Oh god, here we go again...Yes, I'm very fond of Rome.

VC: Rome is the center of the world! A thriving city with spectacular entertainments, luxurious baths, exciting debates, and gleaming marble temples and villas.

[Gaius Octavius]

Even better, see: http://www.livecato.net

 

GO: Now, MPC, be serious, who is the greatest living Roman of your days?

MPC: OK! OK! Caesar.

 

GO: Why do you wear black togas?

MPC: Haven't you heard? I'm gonna commit harry carry.

 

GO: Do you wear any underwear?

MPC: Do you think that I am really a Pict?

 

GO: Were you and Cicero ever a 'unit'?

MPC: Mind your own business!

 

[M. Porcius Cato]

GO--have you been to the web site to which I linked? I'm not just randomly making up the lines for virtual Caesar. This is a computer generated script that I'm quoting. You seem to be misunderstanding the point of this thread.

[Gaius Octavius]

GO--have you been to the web site to which I linked? I'm not just randomly making up the lines for virtual Caesar. This is a computer generated script that I'm quoting. You seem to be misunderstanding the point of this thread.

 

Tried my hardest a couple of times. No luck. Since no one else seems to be able to get in, my well known genius compelled me to then make up my own virtual characters. Mine is the result of a diseased mind, and cries out for forgiveness.

 

Edit:

 

I guess that I did miss the point of this thread. Sorry

 

Edited December 6, 2007 by Gaius Octavius

[G-Manicus]

Cato:

 

I got on from home last night. It's pretty funny.

 

Reminds me of the Burger King website TheSithSense.com where you play virtual Darth Vader in a game of 20 questions with Vader mocking you through the whole game.

 

The site no longer exists, but here's some screen caps:

 

"You're not very bright, are you?"

 

You had to tell him if it was animal, vegetable, or mineral

 

Getting a little help from The King