If you have been paying any attention to my blog, then you know that Pantagathus has been plagued by weresquirrels. He has been trying to cultivate some rare species of flora, namely, daisies, in the wilderness called a garden in those parts. Simply put: he plants and waters; the squirrels munch and water. His Greekness finally had enough. He engaged the services of Sherlock Plopodopulous, and his brother Hercule Terraproctulos. They in turn hired the famous Cherokee Indian tracker, Ashley Wilke
Put me down! Let me go!, you wild, weird, wicked woemens! Stop petting me! I'm not a doggie! Quit kissing me! You're embarrassing me. My pals are laughing at me.
This is how that scene came about. During WWII, the traffic on our street was like an unending snake. Men had to get to the docks. The cross street had practically no traffic. In the event of a crash, the men simply got out of their jalopies and punched each other out. Case closed. Some politico decided that a traffic light would be
You might remember the 'Mac' of an earlier Journal who was commander of the failed raid on the Coast Guard bank.
Mac was graduated from school as a 2nd Lieutenant in the U.S. Army. He became a reconnaissance pilot and was sent off to Viet Nam. I was supposed to follow as a combat engineer, but lucked out.
The following is a letter Capt. Mac [b.] sent to me in 1963.
"13 Jan. 63
Howdy Tom,
Greetings from a hospital bed in worn torn Viet Nam. Nope. No bullet holes. No V.D.,
Fellow Citizens!
Some of you, having not heard from me, thought I had become a member of the recently departed, and thus called to confirm that that was the case. Unfortunately, they were greatly disappointed. Some even had the temerity to ask for a return of their Golden Roman Asses - the ones they stiffed me on for the Journal. Some just could care less. No matter, I still love all y'all. Noblesse oblige, you know. Now, I shall relate what happened to me at the Saturnalia.
During t
Komrades:
Father M. stopped cold in his tracks at the altar. Nah, not in MY church! Millions of thoughts can traipse through the human mind at once. Was it a bosons pipe? The wind through an open window? A deranged Black Protestant? Nah, I have a Truce of God with Father F. at the Episky operation. The altar boys, who had just made easy work of the communion wine, were sniggering. They knew. A vicious glance from the kindly padre put an end to their hilarity. The nuns were alarmed and thus a
Some month or so ago, the computer commenced to really ail. It would take the quarter hour to pass from hither to thither. Gaius sat at the computer for so many hours that his legs commenced to fill with water. Quack forbid computer and ordered the Presence to go horizontal. Also ordered 'water' pills. Just what I need! During a hiatus from the horizontal, I chanced upon a private message from a Roman friend, one Pertinax. I thought it only mete and just that I refurbish my beaker with a refresh
Monday last, the Domina Claudia :wub: :wub: took off for some place in the boondocks, namely, knoxberg, 10AC. The Imperial Pro-Crastinator was supposed to be left well supplied. Well, the Old Moor Hen Shredded Sporran is almost at an end. The stompings don't look as if they will last the week. Down to the last half dozen beers. I have no idea what the things left in the fridge are.
This is the status quo:
Bride in the boondocks. :wub: :wub:
Nurse Mary in Basra. :wub:
Private Bohp
Gentles:
As I suffer Early Onset Alzheimer's, I can't recall if I told you that we are joined by a fourth brother. Stiffed me on the subscription, so he is a natural for this collection. His biography runs thus:
He parks his boots in some god forsaken place called miSHH-a-gin. This land mass sits on a giant toad stool. Its main city rests on a humongous salt mine. He may be a closet neo-con. Is a devotee of Air America and Al Franken in particular. He is not ethnically acceptible.
It gives me great pleasure to announce to you that I, Don Tomasso of Brooklyn, am world famous!
If you would be so kind as to click on the below site, which is the product of one of our most eminent Forum contributors, :notworthy: you will see the reason. In addition, you will be treated to a most excellent education.
http://www.thenectarofgods.com/index.asp
I can't say that I am particularly whelmed with this eminent pertinacious personage's :notworthy: site as
In these days, it has come to pass that the infamous GO was caught out to be an exceptionally bad child of the devil. He accepts this charge with his usual Grace, Humility, and Aplomb. It has come to his attention that, amongst untold other missteps, he has trod upon the sensibilities of many. For this, he is contrite, and asks for absolution and remission for all his sins. In future, should he trespass on The Rudiments of Elementary Bad Manners, or commit any assault against the integrity of th
IRIS has tendered to the god-Consul the intelligence that celebrations have been afoot hereabouts with regard to my recent absence. It does not displease me to inform all y'all that I am still here. Tough!
I have been tending to taxes , the felonies of my brokerage house and other baloney.
Easter went well. We had a little rain here in America. Nothing to really talk about.
I am illegitimate uncle to a 16 year old nymph. She's a junior Rockette or something like that. So I attend
Done with the permission of the contra party (Praebitorae).
-----------------------------------------------------------000--------------------------------------------------------------------
QUOTE
"Hey, My Lady:
Actually, it's not very funny to me.
These sub-morons drive me to distraction. Yeah, lets kill all the Jews! Even the doctors who are keeping me alive! Even my neighbors! The ones I joke with, and have lunch with. And then there was my Grand Aunt, who may have been Jewish.
These Bible thumping neo-con job artist turkeys really need a lot of hard work on their heads. Help me! One may destroy human embryos but not use them for stem cell research?
When told that God is not mentioned in the Constitution, a block headed retard replied: "Wrongo! The date, Anno Domini!"
This is a little late in coming as it goes to subscribers first.
---------------------------------------
My Children:
The babbling and lying is all over in Iowa! But the air-waves are still polluted with the gas heads' condescending explanations of how, when, where, and why. Look, this is how it stands:
Rev. Huckleberry vs Obama :: Faith vs Hope. No Charity whatsoever.
Headlines in November:
Obama Sweeps South Carolina, Florida, and Ohio. Wins By Landslide.
Rev. Hucklebe
At first, you must understand that Jacky Kelly and I were the best of friends. Common assaults on each other were a daily practice. Aside from a lot of first-aid, they were of no consequence to neither ourselves, the flatfoots nor our parents, as they all felt that it was much better and safer for us to try to kill each other than for them to do the work. It would also do some little good for our black, sin stained, damned souls.
Visitation Place was a one block street, bounded on one side
Now that that rebel, Pantagathus, has driven me to the vine and the stalk, I tell all. As you may or may not know, I have some good looking babe visiting me while the Domina is abroad. She is 21. Now, her sister, who is 16, is going to visit Ameica. She's a knock out also. They will be staying with me next weekend. The building will go beserk! The men will be jealous and the women won't be able to hold their water until the Domina comes home and they tell all. When they were nippers, I bounced
Now some god damned WOP is at it!
"" CONGRATULAZIONI "
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Me Buckos:
National Women's Football Assoc. Super Bowl will take place next month. Hope it is as good as the Aussie midget tossing.
Some witch put a curse on some woman so that she would fall in love with some chap. The contra party didn't appreciate it, so she brought the matter up before the magistrates. Probably in wierdo Kali4kneeya. :1eye:
A creepy crawly and a flying bug couldn't take the weather outside any longer. Got into the estate for the A/C. So I crushed the bloody inn
Komrades:
Gaius' reason for existence weekend last was to deliver and retrieve Consort to and from her venue for peddling her horsey stuff. In the interim, the booze and fodder held out and a project was accomplished in peace. Now comes Monday when Gaius was to retrieve said Individual. When the time to commence the voyage arrived, C. did not get his dumper into gear at the appointed hour. No matter. When the mission was almost accomplished, and we approached the wig-wam, the streets were c
Murphy's (missed a few) LAWS
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability : The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were
Komrades:
Little Liar Libby takes the fall for prez chinney and the jolly roger. 30 years? Nah, bet a groat or a stoat that The Shame of America pardons the twerp like his alleged old man did for his fellow co-conspirators in the Iran-Contra imbroglio.
How come the bailiffs haven't hauled liver lips noback before the magistrates? Ain't he the one who spilled the beans in the liberal press?
What was that, that the Sham Prez told the polloi about his administration going to be the most
Burial Notice - Mc Inerney
Sent: Mon 9/17/07 5:58 PM
To: All Mac's Friends
At 1:00 PM on Thursday, 11 October 2007 Lieutenant Colonel Bernard Michael Mc Inerney will be buried at Arlington National Cemetery, Arlington, Virginia. It will be a Graveside Cremate Service. Full honors will be observed (band, escort, caisson, body bearers, firing party.) One body bearer will carry his first wife
Fellow Boozers:
Some Korean Mooney type, named Rock Lee, has invaded America. This new blister hath sattethe on the right side of God. He hathethe commanded angels. But can't seem to get that walking on water thingy right. Probably can't do the Cana bit either.
Will trade him for a couple of millions of wetbacks - or one Brigantine - or yea, and I sayethe unto all y'all, Col. Rupert Rebel!
Domina Claudia, in Her wisdom, has just named me Pontifex Messimus. I wonder why?
Some Russian
Komrades:
Geroge Washington never told a lie. :wub:
george bushe never told the truth.
In a way, doesn't Pres. chenny call to mind Aaron Burr? But Aaron was a better shot.
Domina Claudia off to Maygne for a fortnight of fun and games with my out-laws. Delivered her off to her sister in Nu Joyzee. Had to go through the Holland tunnel twice. As you can see, I made it. Gassed up the chariot in that province and the attendant was highly agitated because it only took 5+ gallons @ 18 b
My Dear Romans:
My wine and beer are only a pleasant memory. Now my lasagne and coffee have joined the afore mentioned! The whiskey won't last out the day! The Empire is ancient history! The Yankees lost - again! Pertinax and Pentagathus are driving me . I had to have a corned beef sandwich for breakfast! The corned beef will have to last until lunch Monday! I have to go to two (2!) weddings! One is a serial polygynist. The other is a novice at it. Told them to do the jobs on some mountain
