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My Religion

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Sextus Roscius

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I have a religion in a sense, which is not Christianity, Budhism, Hinduism, Islam, or Polytheist. I am a Athiest which in a sense is a religion. I'm an Athiest for certain reasons. My religious stand-point has gone through several phases. This was one of the trials of my life.

 

1. When I was a little kid I was a christian. I was not old enough to think if something was logical or illogical yet so a full heartedly believed in a higher power. I didn't know the things I know now and nothing was stoping me from seeing things in a religious way. At this point I was even arguing that God existed and I ocassionaly, but not often, prayed for something to happen. I hoped that God would some day fix problems on earth and solve the suffereing and problems I knew existed.

 

2. Later on, in about 2nd grade, I made a friendship with a now great friend of mine. He was obsessed with history, WWII in particular, was very religious, and was also a Republican. He was one of the deciding factors I beleive that shaped me into the person I am today. He was very interested in the Nazi Party, and at that age we weren't conscerned about how horrible something was, or how good something was, all we cared was what it was, how it happened, why it happened, who made it happened, and whether it was cool. This gave me a equal stand point on WWII, I knew about the halocaust, but becuase I had also learnt about all the advances the Nazi party had made in terms of war-fare and engenieering I had a different opinion on it. I not only saw what happened, but what made it happened.

 

That spirt has lived on with me, and I began to question all what I beleive to be clear flaws and warps of reality in Christianity. I was now uncertain over whether it was right or wrong, whether the earth was gods creation or not. I saw both good and evil in everything becuase of all my time with my friend. I began to wonder why God would make something evil do good things, and if God is all forgiving, why does he only give you one chance at life. I didn't beleive in reincarnation, but I was then at that point an Agnostic, unsure of what to do.

 

3. The third phase of my religious stand point took place a few years ago when I became obsessed with Rome and her glory, power, prestige, genious, and culture. Rome had a ever changing effect on my life in a religious stand point. It was at some time durring my reading that I heard a few words that changed me.

 

"A little known fact, is what is poupularly beleived is commonly true"

 

In those words, I realized to myself "why would one sixth of the world be right, while the other 5/6s are wrong? So many people can not be mistaken, and if 1/6 is right, then by rule, they should be able to provide enough proof to prove their point." and so I was confirmed by that as an Atheist. I was a shaky one at best, but still an Atheist.

 

Later on I studied science more, read the works of great people, and overall became more knowlegable about the world around me as I grew older. The older I got, the more of an Atheist I was. Thus comfirmed in my non-God beleifs.

 

If anyone i wondering why I've written this peice on my religous stand point over time. Don't ask, I myself am not sure.

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I went through similar phases, accept for the Nazi part. Up until about 6 months ago I would have called myself an atheist also. Something happened then though, and I realised that the actual act of praying, or appealing to a higher power (whether you actually belive in it or not) helps to sort out things in my own mind, and solidify things I am striving for, and outcomes I want to achieve. In short I suppose I am still an athiest in a sense, because I believe my higher power is somewhere inside me, not external. Thats just my experience though.

 

With regard to why you wrote this entry, I don't really care because you've written a number of these thoughfull, pondering entries and I always enjoy reading them !

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It seems to me, that many people go through similar changes in outlook during the course of their lifetimes. It's a part of growing up, of reaching a point where you are most comfortable, of carving out your own little niche so to speak. Everyone is affected by events the events of life in different ways, and it affects outlook as well.

 

I've gone through several such stages, and I am perfectly content where I am now (when it comes to my religious beliefs, anyway). I've tried many religions, and I've never felt what I do now with any other. I've been wiccan, but something just wasn't right there...I was just going through the motions. I was Christian once as well, and though I believed with what seemed to me to be all of my heart, I felt no love in return. I was atheist, however something seemed to be missing...I felt as if I were reaching for something and not finding it...it was empty. I finally became pagan...first with the Celtic pantheon and then the Roman as well...and I feel the love that I have a feeling I was supposed to feel with all of those other religions...the emptiness is gone now :)

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I went through similar phases, accept for the Nazi part. Up until about 6 months ago I would have called myself an atheist also. Something happened then though, and I realised that the actual act of praying, or appealing to a higher power (whether you actually belive in it or not) helps to sort out things in my own mind, and solidify things I am striving for, and outcomes I want to achieve. In short I suppose I am still an athiest in a sense, because I believe my higher power is somewhere inside me, not external. Thats just my experience though.

 

With regard to why you wrote this entry, I don't really care because you've written a number of these thoughfull, pondering entries and I always enjoy reading them !

 

 

Germanicus, that belief is common enough among the New Age crowd, whether New Age Christians or New Age Pagans. They basically subscribe to a belief in mystical psychology. They believe that the various deities honored by mankind are "archetypes" that reside within a collective conscious. They believe the act of prayer or worship is really designed to focus the human psyche and allow humans to get in touch with their deeper selves and sort out their problems.

 

This is not my own understanding of religion, but if this is what you have come to believe, you may wish to research the various New Age religions. You will find plenty of people who think as you do. :)

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