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Alleged diet of Loch Ness Monster


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The Aussies have dug up a Loch Ness monster. BBC says so. May one legitimately conclude from this that the Scots haven't been putting one over on the masses?

 

Except it still wouldn't account for how Nessie (and her ancestry) survived for the last several million years in a small Scottish lake while all its other sea monster relatives have since perished from the earth.

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A long life span munching on unwary Scotsmen?

No Sirrah , I dispute you, an abundant supply of delicious high calorie shortbread biscuits. B)

 

http://www.fortnumandmason.com/shopping/bi...ttishShortbread

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A long life span munching on unwary Scotsmen?

No Sirrah , I dispute you, an abundant supply of delicious high calorie shortbread biscuits. :rolleyes:

 

http://www.fortnumandmason.com/shopping/bi...ttishShortbread

 

My word! All that stuff and the Queen's Warrant to boot! Mayhaps they ALSO chucked their stale tea into the drink to muddy the waters? :P

 

:ph34r:

Edited by Gaius Octavius
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:ph34r: biscuits?

 

Pay no attention to the Brigantine.

Scotsmen bloated with haggis; loaded with Scotch and regretting having put day light between themselves and a guinea.

 

No no no, it is well known that Nessie (being female) has only small flat teeth ,ideal for crushing shortbread to a delicious high calorie paste. In breeding season of course, a flavoursome Scot marinaded in Whiskey would be swallowed whole and digested over a period of days.

The large shoals of wild ocean going kipper are herded by the creatures and swallowed en-masse as a prerequisite to the mating frenzy.

http://www.ardtaraigfinefoods.co.uk/acatal...sh_Kippers.html

Only the large males, with their tusks , will fight and kill the wiley and aggresive Haggis.

http://www.scottishhaggis.co.uk/

 

 

Personally I just order from here:

http://www.lochfyne.com/

or

http://www.glassonsmokehouse.co.uk/

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I know how to catch Nessie! We shall throw in many Scotsmen marinated with whisky into the drink. After Nessie consumes too many and becomes drunk, she will float ashore where we can capture her! Why no one else thought of this preserves my indefinite intellect.

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Twelve pounds for a pair of kippers??? I wouldn't pay that much for a pair of shoes or a pair of Scotsmen!

 

Kidding aside, the sites Perinax has links to are well worth a gander. And not just for food. An offshoot from one of them should prove of interest for the siege craft devotees HERE

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Except it still wouldn't account for how Nessie (and her ancestry) survived for the last several million years in a small Scottish lake while all its other sea monster relatives have since perished from the earth.

Not to mention something that is often referred to as the 'Ice Age' which turned that place into a friggin huge glacier.

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Except it still wouldn't account for how Nessie (and her ancestry) survived for the last several million years in a small Scottish lake while all its other sea monster relatives have since perished from the earth.

Not to mention something that is often referred to as the 'Ice Age' which turned that place into a friggin huge glacier.

To paraphrase "South Park" , Scotland has two seasons every year, The Ice Age and July.

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A long life span munching on unwary Scotsmen?

No Sirrah , I dispute you, an abundant supply of delicious high calorie shortbread biscuits. :rolleyes:

 

http://www.fortnumandmason.com/shopping/bi...ttishShortbread

 

Don't forget the Iron-Bru to wash it all down.

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Which we see here:

 

http://www.engineeringtalk.com/news/mas/mas110.html

 

and which I wager, derives a major part of its flavour from the use of Gentian herb

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