The Augusta Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 Now, before we all get serious again on the Forum and start doing our promised articles on Roman ladies etc. (I haven't forgotten), I wonder if anyone is in the mood for a little fun? The post Christmas period is always a bit of a downer for me, and I thought all our spirits may be lifted by a little exercise in imagination. I put the following to you, gents and ladies: If you could bring forward to our time any of our ancient heroes (Cato, Caesar, Augustus, Trajan etc...) to offer his/her view on the current world, who would it be and why? And what do you think they'd make of it? For instance, if Cato (the Younger) were suddenly transported to modern-day America or the UK, what kind of speech would he make in the Senate, or House of Commons? Which topics would he find anathema, and which would he back? What on earth would they make of modern Italy? Who would invoke their admiration and who their condemnation? How would Caesar cope with nothing to conquer - or would he try anyway? As well as having a bit of light-hearted fun, this may show us all just how well we think we know our heroes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaius Paulinus Maximus Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 I'd like to bring Vespasian and his son Titus back to Rome and let them stand back and admire thier dream and creation in all it's glory - the Colosseum or as they knew it - the Flavian Amphitheater, still standing 1927yrs after it was completed. The looks on thier faces would be priceless! :smartass: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spittle Posted January 5, 2007 Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 This reminds me of a Russian joke. Lenin's body is taken to Manhatten so the scientists can re-animate him. He stands and walks to the window. Looking out at the New York streets teeming with people and activity. A tear rolls down his face and he breaks the awed silence by saying "I always knew my revolution would do this to Moscow". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pantagathus Posted January 5, 2007 Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 I'd love to see what Polybius would have to say about about the socio-political state of the world in modernity in relation to his insights from his 6th Chapter... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Augusta Posted January 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2007 This reminds me of a Russian joke. Lenin's body is taken to Manhatten so the scientists can re-animate him. He stands and walks to the window. Looking out at the New York streets teeming with people and activity. A tear rolls down his face and he breaks the awed silence by saying "I always knew my revolution would do this to Moscow". I love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaius Octavius Posted January 7, 2007 Report Share Posted January 7, 2007 Bring Cato back and let him have some words in georgius II :bag:, Praetor Maximus', shell like. Bring Pompey :tank: back and let him tell georgius II Iraqicus , how to do it right. Bring Cicero :smartass: back and let him teach georgius II :1eye: some grammar. Bring Lord Palmerston back and let him teach georgius II some English. Bring Brutus back and let him have at MPC. (Sign-off to follow.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaius Octavius Posted January 7, 2007 Report Share Posted January 7, 2007 Sign-off. ------------------------------- Have all y'all noticed that has been a member of the Forum for less than one year, and that the membership has more than doubled in this time, ergo...? -_- :thumbs_up: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docoflove1974 Posted January 7, 2007 Report Share Posted January 7, 2007 Have all y'all noticed that has been a member of the Forum for less than one year, and that the membership has more than doubled in this time, ergo...? -_- :thumbs_up: Why don't you pat yourself on the back a little more...'cuz Lord knows that it couldn't have been a coincidence, or anything! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursus Posted January 7, 2007 Report Share Posted January 7, 2007 I would like to see how Augustus could reform American government while still paying lip service to the Constitution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WotWotius Posted January 7, 2007 Report Share Posted January 7, 2007 I would take Lucullus and Vitellius out for a meal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgil61 Posted January 7, 2007 Report Share Posted January 7, 2007 (edited) ...If you could bring forward to our time any of our ancient heroes (Cato, Caesar, Augustus, Trajan etc...) to offer his/her view on the current world, who would it be and why? And what do you think they'd make of it? For instance, if Cato (the Younger) were suddenly transported to modern-day America or the UK, what kind of speech would he make in the Senate, or House of Commons? Which topics would he find anathema, and which would he back? What on earth would they make of modern Italy? Who would invoke their admiration and who their condemnation? How would Caesar cope with nothing to conquer - or would he try anyway? Speech in the Senate? Anathemas? Admiration and conquest? Get real Ms Augusta (links to the following for non-Americans)! Cato the Younger will be a weekly commentator on FoxNews and write annual columns angrily devoted to the decline in morality and ethics. A nasty fued will erupt with Julius Caesar over the later's control of the Order of the Sons of Italy in America. He will be found in flagrante delicto with Ann Coulter on a third floor office of the institute that bears his name in Washington, DC. Rumoured to have a serious gambling problems and a close relationship to Bill Bennet. Julius Caesar will sue Little Caesars Pizza and Caesar's Palace as rightful owner of the 'Caesar' name and settle in Reno, Nevada. With the non-disclosed out-of-court settlement money and pressure from the Sons of Italy he will finagle an appointment as Nevada Gaming Control Board commissioner. His autobiography--Life in a Toga--will be on the NY Times book list for over a year. His is rumoured to be writing a screenplay about the recent Cato scandal and to be thinking of a run for governor of Nevada. Octavian, under his uncle's tutelage, will control the local Sons of Italy lodges in New York City and corner the underground gambling industry. He lavishly spends money on local parks, schools, et al., becoming the darling for some in the local community. On the other hand he was recently expelled from the Knights of Columbus for actions that were 'getting sorta out-outta-hand' during elections at the local chapter. Rumoured to really, really dislike the Irish. Marius and Sulla will be major players and rivals in the sanitation industry in the New Jersey area. Marc Antony will become involved in the Hollywood fast lane starring in a series of soap operas and TV movies of the week. He will be arrested a dozen times for drunk driving and substance abuse and begin appearing in *or* films. After yet another arrest he will spend ninety days at the Betty Ford clinic emerging in a half-way house as a born-again Christian. Cicero is a medical malpractice attorney in Peoria, Illinois. Edited January 8, 2007 by Virgil61 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaius Octavius Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 My Glorious Divine Ancestor with that bag of bones? Never! I say NEVER! BTW, the Knights of Columbus will soon arrest you and the Sons of Italy will be pall bearers at your funeral. bill bennet? Nah. Maybe schwarzenegger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Augusta Posted January 11, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 11, 2007 Talking of our Sulla - he would have to be interviewed on a major Chat Show on the occasion of his retirement, and he would walk down the glittery staircase to the tune of 'Luck be a Lady Tonight'. Gorgeous contribution up there, Virgil! Ah, now - signature tunes.... there'd be a thing. 'Holding out for a Hero' for our Scipio. Lots of Hollywood montage of him driving his 4 wheel drive Jeep towards New Carthage. I see Cato in the House of Commons, lobbying Tony Blair. True to his principles he would deliberately spit on the panders by appearing in a tattered old Pink Floyd T-shirt and faded Levi jeans. Come to think of it, we did have a sort of Cato over the Iraq business: Robin Cook resigned his cabinet post because he refused to believe in the WMDs and challenged the pretext for the war. He stuck to his principles and made a flamboyant gesture that elevated him in most peoples' opinion. Regardless of modern politics, I see Cato doing just the same sort of thing. Poor Julia and Clodia would have had their faces and exploits plastered all over the tabloids: 'Emperor's daughter in six-way romp - no comment from the Palatine'; 'Emperor said to be 'heartbroken' over horny daughter's exploits'. 'Julia's men: Was there a plot to oust the Emperor?' 'Exclusive: Clodia speaks out over rumours of incest.' The girls provide even more fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northern Neil Posted January 12, 2007 Report Share Posted January 12, 2007 (edited) Ammianus Marcellinus (4th Cent) is a late Roman literary hero of mine. He remarked that when food supplies were a bit tight in Rome, people of certain professions were temporarily excluded and sent away from the city. He was aghast that philosophers and scholars were sent away, whilst charioteers and dancers were allowed to stay. I think he would see comparisons by the shipload! Celebrity (nonentity!) Big Brother*, soaps, TV programmes about putting up decking or painting walls, not to mention a veritable cornucopia of other televisual junk, all aired between 7pm and 11pm. Sir Patrick Moore's 600th edition of 'The Sky At Night', however, gets aired at 2AM!! *For our non British friends, 'Big Brother' is a TV prog that involves putting 12 vulnerable and slightly dim people in a cramped environment, and deriving entertainment from their posturing, tantrums and possible sexual liasons. It is, sadly, one of our most popular TV programmes. Occasionally a brash, materialistic loudmouth is selected from their number, and is foisted on the British public as a 'celebrity', despite the fact no - one can stand her. Or him (whoops). Edited January 12, 2007 by Northern Neil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
votadini Posted January 12, 2007 Report Share Posted January 12, 2007 *For our non British friends, 'Big Brother' is a TV prog that involves putting 12 vulnerable and slightly dim people in a cramped environment, and deriving entertainment from their posturing, tantrums and possible sexual liasons. It is, sadly, one of our most popular TV programmes. Occasionally a brash, materialistic loudmouth is selected from their number, and is foisted on the British public as a 'celebrity', despite the fact no - one can stand her. Or him (whoops). Hear, hear!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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